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12-10-2014, 03:40 AM

I'm a good looking 34 year old gay male in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years and our intimacy has disappeared. We only have sex once a month at best and that's always with me making all the moves. I have tried everything and don't know what else to do? Is it just me? How often do 34 year old couples have sex? Any advice?

James · 12-10-2014, 03:47 AM

Even hetrosexuals lose some sexual intimacy after being together for some time, almost said you, what I mean is both of you need to spice it up with new and exotic themes. Becoming complacent is a problem, need to find new avenues, James

12-10-2014, 04:03 AM

I'm 30 but not in a relationship, but I do cum at least once a day, so why should it be different when in a relationship? It is definitely not you. He needs help.

I hope you are at least masturbating?

12-10-2014, 04:07 AM

I have no advice to give but I'm going to be checking back to see what the old farts say about this because I damned sure have some questions about it. My guy is 30 now and I need some sort of game plan if he ever starts losing his mojo.

12-10-2014, 04:54 AM

Could be medical, emotional or both. It'd be something to check out with a doctor and then perhaps pursue some therapy. Could be underlying resentment etc. Is he withdrawn in other ways?

jimcrackcorn · 12-10-2014, 06:03 AM

7 years seems just about right.... That's when the sex starts to drop off dramatically.

You've been together long enough where the sex becomes the lesser part of a relationship. With most relationships, the sex drops off gradually after the first year of living together. This doesn't mean the love has dissipated, it's just mellowing out and reaching the comfort zone with less ups and downs.

If you want to get back into the groove,,,,, start romancing him again. Buy special gifts, surprise him with a special meal, hug him when he gets home from work, etc. Do the things you initially did when you first met him. I'd bet the TV & computer weren't turned on very often,,, and your weekends were spent going out,,,, back then. Hint: unplug the TV and turn off the computer --- turn on the stereo and dance together,,,, have a few drinks,,, do some kissing..... Re-kindle the fire and hopefully the sparks will start flying!!! It could be the sex is too vanilla, and you need to start mixing it up as suggested by James above - try some kinky stuff.

Don't expect the sex to be as frequent as it was when you first met --- those days may never reappear. But,,, with a little patience and prodding,,, you may get the sex machine going twice a week.

Like BrianNorth mentioned, there may also be underlying issues that your partner is not telling you about. Such as: Erectile disfunction, depression, etc. See if you can get him to open up and talk about his lack of sexual desire.

Good luck,
Jim

jimcrackcorn · 12-10-2014, 06:10 AM

Virge Wrote:I have no advice to give but I'm going to be checking back to see what the old farts say about this because I damned sure have some questions about it. My guy is 30 now and I need some sort of game plan if he ever starts losing his mojo.

Virgeeeee,,, You'll be lucky if your husband lets you out of the dog house once every other month!!!!! (smile)...

Old Fart,
Jim

12-10-2014, 06:10 AM

Virge Wrote:I have no advice to give but I'm going to be checking back to see what the old farts say about this because I damned sure have some questions about it. My guy is 30 now and I need some sort of game plan if he ever starts losing his mojo.

Virge what the heck is that signature? Cannot stop laughing lol
Where did you found that?

meridannight · 12-10-2014, 06:38 AM

i'm 31 and mostly i want it every day. i sometimes miss a day here or there, but generally i still want sex on a daily basis. if i was in a stable relationship i might even want it more. (i know this because when i'm with a guy i have feelings for, i'd happily have sex with him all the time).

but sex drive depends on various factors. is your partner under some psychological stress? is his health okay? things like these can affect it.

PS. while i agree sex might drop off and become less frequent in a long-term relationship (i haven't crossed the 7-year mark myself though), once a month at the age of 34 is does NOT sound normal to me even in case of a long-term relationship.

12-10-2014, 06:51 AM

My ex was 40 i was 25 we were together 3 years and yes the sex after a few months diminishes, I'm sure not going to try to be a smart butt and explain it but in my case it was stress that would cause him too not feel soo intimate, money problems, long hours at work, just overall him going through emotional things about age and having me a younger guy being young just i guess made him feel older, also insecurities he constantly worried about losing me, I know that mentality is sad but i couldnt help or keep him from feeling older or scared, im a super horny guy and he felt like he couldnt keep up, i sometimes wonder if that also caused our break up. :C After ive dated older as i find them very attractive and stimulating and found the same issues popped up, now i dated around my age and ummm the sex is constant sometimes 3 to 4 times a day on a good week haha so like i mentioned its all in the mind and how they feel emotionally (IN MY OPINION)