Not wanting help I just need to complain....

[Bowyn Aerrow]

As if there isn't enough on my plate.... My roommate, aka The Ex, came home last night tweaking (on speed) and I got to spend a lovely evening dealing with a speed freak and his issues.

He wanted me to drive him to a meeting last night. Hello, epilepsy, uncontrolled seizures.... Anyway it was too late, it was already 9:15pm when he decided to grace me with his presence. Meetings end at 9:30 pm soooo....

He started getting handsy with the dog, shoving her away, I ended up shoving him away - like down on his ass and I stop short of beating the crap out of him.

Violence is something I haven't resorted to for years upon years upon years. There I was standing over him, hands balled into fists of rage fucking crying in public too :mad:. I never cry in front of anyone - ANYONE... but there I was tears streaming and snot and shit. :mad: :mad: :mad:

I so seriously wanted to just start thumping on him and never stop.

Today he has been fighting the crash (the passing out phase after staying awake I guess three days since its been three days since the last time I saw him).

He was supposed to go to work today.... I finally grabbed his phone from him to dial for him since apparently he can't see straight to make a phone call. I just told his boss he has the stomach flu so bad that he ran to the toilet right now.

Yeah yeah yeah, I just enabled his happy ass. :mad:

I am out of energy, out of room on my plate. What with this eviction, the flu for the 5th time this year, a shit load of crap I'm trying to sell but can't find a buyer, dealing with his mom last week and the week before trying to keep her alive while he is out partying like he is a 25 year old instead of a grown man of 48. What else is there?

I cannot do this anymore... 'This' being everything.

He claims he still wants to go to a meeting. He needs something - I think a long stay in rehab... If he gets piss tested at work he loses his job.

I'm going to drag his ass to a meeting. Then.... I don't know. I might just take his car for a very, very long drive and never be seen nor heard from again.

He has a boy friend - why can't that individual deal with him? Oh I know why, because its a sex buddy type relationship. No doubt this guy turned him back on to drugs. And no this isn't the first time in two months that my roommate has come back tweaking, just this time its full of fucking unwanted and unwanted drama.

And lies upon lies upon more lies.... "It was just a (one) bump" Bullshit, as strung out as he is he's been on a bender. And his behaviors are EXACTLY the same ones from mid November when he vanished over night, and the week before that when he vanished for two nights.... First time in like forever my ass.

Now don't say kick him out. I told him to leave after I found evidence of 12 years of his sleeping around while we were in a relationship. I have asked, pleaded, begged, screamed, threatened and he is still here. STILL HERE....

WTF to do when they refuse to go away:confused:

This holding on the wolf ears thing.... it ain't working either. I am about to let go... its not going to end well.

I am drowning under way too many issues at the same time. There is not enough of me to deal with all of this. I can't think, I can't focus on just one thing because too many other things have my attention. I'm paralyzed here.

I need help - not advice, real help. I have no idea where to turn. I have no idea what my next move should be, there is just too many things I have to move against.

So that is it.

I'm done here.

[bluerealm]

what are you trying to sell ? like name the things?


I'm not trying to help but this is to much. I'm also getting old and i could never deal with this.

Ps i'll leave jesus out of this one.

[Borg69]

Bowyn-

You're a good guy, a good friend, and have a huge heart. Unfortunately you're wasting them on parasites whom are taking advantage of that fact and using you up and dragging you to your demise. You need to kick in some self preservation mode. Those albatross' aren't going to help you, and neither is some cosmic justice karma fairies. Get some "ME" mojo going and use that energy to save yourself.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

what are you trying to sell ? like name the things?


I'm not trying to help but this is to much. I'm also getting old and i could never deal with this.

Ps i'll leave jesus out of this one.

Old copper pots and pans, sax 1936 conn tenor -basically old shit...

[bluerealm]

try out ebay.

i was trying to see if its any thing i want.

its why i asked.

"Get some "ME" mojo going and use that energy to save yourself."

hes right.... its time for you to survive.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Bowyn-

You're a good guy, a good friend, and have a huge heart. Unfortunately you're wasting them on parasites whom are taking advantage of that fact and using you up and dragging you to your demise. You need to kick in some self preservation mode. Those albatross' aren't going to help you, and neither is some cosmic justice karma fairies. Get some "ME" mojo going and use that energy to save yourself.

I have no idea how.

[CellarDweller]

You don't know how......I'm not mocking you, I think there are A LOT of people who have that problem.

People need to realize it is not selfish to put yourself first at times. It's often necessary.

Bowyn, give serious thought to what needs to be done to help you, and do it. If any of these parasites come back looking for more, you tell them "no" and move back to yourself.

[Gideon]

Dude it sounds like you have way too much on your plate already without having to deal with someone else's drama and issues. I mean yeah so maybe he does need help, that doesn't mean -you- have to be the one to help him. And honestly? Until he really and truly -wants- help(not pity, not a hand out) then no one really -can- help him.

So say no, man. Lock the doors and turn up the music, call the cops if you have to and let them deal with him. You have more than enough going on already....

Good luck to you, man.

[LJay]

Bowyn, don't worry any more about asking him to leave. Clear up your stuff and leave yourself. No one needs to deal with that kind of burden. Believe me, I know. I really know. Think of yourself and reach down for those bootstraps and hike on out into a new life. It will be rough at first, but in some ways it will be better right away. Do it.

[JackTX]

Now don't say kick him out. I told him to leave after I found evidence of 12 years of his sleeping around while we were in a relationship. I have asked, pleaded, begged, screamed, threatened and he is still here. STILL HERE....

WTF to do when they refuse to go away

That part stood out to me. If he's bad for you and you want him gone, you have to make that happen even if it means you leaving (if you can).

One way to create a happy space is to eject everything that isn't. Your happiness is a precious thing; if something is attacking it, purposefully or not, remove it. A little brutal maybe but it sounds like you're already there :/