I kissed my friend/buddy. Is my buddy gay?
12-14-2014, 02:39 PM
Unless euphemism and indirection are a sort of etiquette that is deeply ingrained in your culture, and it may well be, your description still casts your buddy's statements as a platonic love. We love a brother, sister, dog, or blanket. We want to hold him/her/it, show affection, be close.
When it is erotic attraction, we want to fuck his brains out, or be submissive. Your description of his words seem invariably lacking in anything sexual. Cuddling may not be perceived as masculine, and may be connoted as "gay" between two males, but it is not inherently sexual except when it is sexual.
Unfortunately, we live in a culture that has become hypersexualized. Platonic love is almost never spoken of, and when it is, there is somewhat of a sense that it is somehow inferior or limited.
There is still every likelihood that your buddy is platonically loving you, which probably includes "answering" your physical attraction to him by giving you physical acceptance to ensure you get the message you are loved.
Unless he can express his feelings as a sexual urge, complete with erection, it will remain suspect.
Were his messages hostile? Angry?
As for the future, the airing of all this indeed makes it likely that nothing will ever be the same. That is life. Even if his wife were not jealous, marriage and parenting can often push out old friends unintentionally.
When it is erotic attraction, we want to fuck his brains out, or be submissive. Your description of his words seem invariably lacking in anything sexual. Cuddling may not be perceived as masculine, and may be connoted as "gay" between two males, but it is not inherently sexual except when it is sexual.
Unfortunately, we live in a culture that has become hypersexualized. Platonic love is almost never spoken of, and when it is, there is somewhat of a sense that it is somehow inferior or limited.
There is still every likelihood that your buddy is platonically loving you, which probably includes "answering" your physical attraction to him by giving you physical acceptance to ensure you get the message you are loved.
Unless he can express his feelings as a sexual urge, complete with erection, it will remain suspect.
Were his messages hostile? Angry?
As for the future, the airing of all this indeed makes it likely that nothing will ever be the same. That is life. Even if his wife were not jealous, marriage and parenting can often push out old friends unintentionally.
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