Moving to a new state.

[Laysh]

Thanks for all the replies and advice, I can go ahead and flush it out more if you like. Though I was mistaken, it wasn't Montery, but Guerneville by Santa Rosa. I feel like a dork for not looking up the zip code to double check.

I work at a grocery store and worked my way up to Bookkeeper. (basically the person who controls the money in the store's bank for the tills and deposits the money each night.) While in the 8 years I've worked most of the departments. The town I live in now the options aren't too big. you either work at a restaurant or get a factory job.

Because of my small town, I've always felt like an outcast because of my sexualty and have always fallen for straight guys. Though two years ago when doing my first play I met a very cute guy who flirted with me and made passes. He said he was pansexual at the time. I was weary at first and we just stayed friends, but we had so much in common and our views and personalities caused sparks. For two months we stayed friends and hung out till one night he got me drunk and we messed around. About two weeks later he got a GF. I played it off and told hm congratulations and was there for support. During the twilight of his relationship, when I was hugged him good bye and he was of course drunk he finally kissed me and told me that I was the one and I was always the one. Needless to say it ripped my heart out.

Now, my Nephew and I are only 5 years apart from each other, so we are more like brothers. Me, being gay, his GF thought I would feel more at home In California and have better luck. Right now I have about $2,000 saved up for moving and indeed our plan is to have my nephew move up there first and get settled in. I have about 2 weeks of vacation saved up that I want to use to visit.

[JackTX]

I know these forums include a lot of shy-ish posting about details, but you're really gonna have to flesh out the picture a little more for anyone to give you more than generalizations.

Why kind of work do you do? What are your skills/training/education? Why are your nephew and his GF encouraging you to go? Is it because you gripe about the town by habit, or because you really are unhappy there? What area of California is the target? Are you out where you live?

I was also left wondering things. How close are you to the nephew? Do you hang out with them almost all of the time vs. your other friends? It sounds like THEY want someone out there that they will know but that doesn't mean it will be any good for you.

Hopefully a job you could land out there will also pay 3x more to compensate. If not... ehhh...

I've moved to another state twice in the past decade. I didn't have too many strong ties in my hometown and I viewed it as an adventure to some degree. Luckily we wound up in nice places or I would have regretted it I'm sure.

If you hate your current town, that's a big reason to check out a move. You will make friends wherever you go if you are outgoing. You can always visit your current friends occasionally.

8 years at a job is a long time anymore. Have you been advancing there or are you in the same position. If you're stagnant professionally, you should look for an upgrade somewhere, even if it's where you are. Establishment in and of itself doesn't necessarily mean much unless you value security above all else maybe.