Missing dating

[Gideon]

A transsexual is someone who identifies as the opposite gender than they are born. A straight transgender in this case would be living/identifying as a woman while attracted to men. (To answer the question above) I have the feeling you're going to tell us that you aren't a transsexual but I believe Cuddly brought this up because you spoke of being uncomfortable having your masculine traits pointed out, thus the possibility that you may identify as a female.

As for the submissive/dominant thing....it's not just about BDSM clubs, leather and dogcollars. It's not about fetishes and kink....being submissive is as simple as things like...wanting someone to protect and take care of you, of giving up that control to another. It's a part of a person's personality, how they react to another person....

I think overall that you are unhappy/uncomfortable with yourself and your orientation and you need to address that before you attempt to find someone who fits your specifications. You might also want to get past thinking gay is weak because honestly? Even a big burly manly man is likely to take offense with being told he is weak.

Acceptance is key here, and until you accept yourself....you're going to be a very unhappy person.

[ck86]

What is a straight transsexual Cuddly?! Casual sex does nothing for me Cuddly, You shouldn't build a relationship around sexual chemistry!! that's crazy. You should have things in common and get on well first. Ck86 How old is your partner? I have seen outdoor lads before but I don't think I would feel comfortable going to there events. I'm not really into outdoor pursuits apart from walking in the country anyway.

Hey [MENTION=21893]alex27[/MENTION]

Sorry for the late reply. Didn't realise you asked a question. (You need to put the @ before their username or else we don't get notified)

He's 35. Although I'm not sure if that's relavent here. Why do you ask?

[alex27]

I was just curious [MENTION=22126]ck86[/MENTION] I'm 28 too and prefer slightly older guys, [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] I wouldn't call a big burley manly man weak! Whether he was gay or straight. I am not a transsexual but I often wonder if I was born in the wrong body, but as a guy of 6ft3 there is no getting away from the fact that I am a guy. I just hope some counselling from a gay councillor will help.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

IDK you were pretty convincing with that ice pick

Was that an ice pick in his pocket

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Hey Dean,

I totally get what you mean about the whole gay scene thing. There is a lot of the gay subculture that I dont like or identify with, but as a gay guy, who am I to criticise what turns others on.

I've always been described as a straight acting gay guy. When I came out there was a lot of questions along the lines of, "are you sure?" LoL. I'm just an average guy, average height, build etc. I used to work in a very homophobic profession (ex military) and was so far in the back of the closet it was suffocating at times.

Being a str8 acting guy has its drawbacks. No gay guys (whether straight acting or camp) ever approached me or struck up a conversation, and finding gay dates was a nightmare lol. Sometimes I wished I was more "flamboyant" in the hope of guys picking me up!

So I can sympathise with the situation you find yourself in. If it helps just remember that there are lots of gay guys around you, you just don't know it because they are just like you!

If your adventurous enough get yourself over to London for the weekend and just spend a day people watching in Old Compton St in soho:biggrin: