Gay man, Straight male?

[reddogzh]

I have been dating a man for about 6 months. We met online, confessed love for each other, and just recently moved in together(about a month in now).
Everything has been great but I am the first man he's ever dated. I never questioned our monogamy but doubt have some what come to mind.
He has expressed his doubts about a straight man being in a gay relationship. We DO NOT have sex. He's not distant but the connection you get from sex is lacking..even though we connect in a lot of ways, and I do love him. Most of all I believe he loves me. But I can't ignore what is going on?

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice?

[MikeW]

I assume you're not getting any replies because what you've written doesn't make any more sense to anyone else than it does to me.

*IF* you're asking has anyone else on this forum fallen in love with a straight man they met online, moved in with him after six months of "dating" (whatever that means in this context), and then begun to have second thoughts about the absence of "connection" that comes about through sexual love-making -- No, I'd be very surprised if any of us has been in a similar situation.

I can't even...

[lonley]

I can say with out a doubt that I am confused what you are trying to say. I take it that you had a online relationship and he says that he loves you and you tell him the same. Then you move in together and are more like really good friends you do everything but sex ? I am thinking that maybe he is confused and scared to admit that he is really bi or gay and if he does not admit it that it will not be true in his mind. I may be thinking way . All I can say is that you really need to have a serious talk with him and let him know exactly how you feel about everything and your feelings for him ! Ask him to be totally honest with you .This is just my take on it I could be totally wrong I wish you the best of luck and please let us know what happens .

[Borg69]

WHY aren't you having sex? Have you asked for it? If you initiate it does he stop you?

[Darius]

Pics or it's a lie.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have been dating a man for about 6 months. We met online, confessed love for each other, and just recently moved in together(about a month in now).
Everything has been great but I am the first man he's ever dated. I never questioned our monogamy but doubt have some what come to mind.
He has expressed his doubts about a straight man being in a gay relationship. We DO NOT have sex. He's not distant but the connection you get from sex is lacking..even though we connect in a lot of ways, and I do love him. Most of all I believe he loves me. But I can't ignore what is going on?

Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice?

My last relationship was sexless for the last 12 years of it. Not that either one of us were straight. He has the HIV, claimed he didn't want to infect me with The Virus, thus sex went the way of the DoDo, the wooly mammoth, the Pyrenean Ibex (which incidentally when extinct as the same time as sex did for me).

I survived without sex, the relationship went on for over 12 more years. The lack of sex didn't kill the relationship, although the fact that he was having at least 10 random encounters with men for sex each year in those years did break that camel's back in a big way. The main reason it broke the relationship because there was the lie that we were both remaining monogamous (in a celibate way). With all of the other little lies for him to get time to have those random encounters...

So you can do a sexless relationship, and like it or not sex takes up a very little portion of any couple's relationship (eventually), but other things are crucial such as trust, honesty, companionship. There are other forms of intimacy a couple can have, like cuddling which can scratch some of the itch of no sex.

IF your BF is straight, then he needs to assess why it is he is in a relationship with a man. Homosexuality is not all about sex, again sex plays a small role in most people's lives. Gay men tend to want more than just sex from their mate, and that is what makes us gay - because we want those other things beyond sex with a person of the same gender.

Personally I have rules. I don't get involved with guys fresh out of the closet, I don't do straight guys, and I am limited on the number of bisexual men I will entertain as potential mates. They need to be more gay than straight in their bisexuality for me to feel comfortable to commitment.

These rules are not based on personal experiences, they are, however, based on the horror stories that I have heard from so many other gay men who ended up getting hurt because those types of individuals who are not out and about, or honest about their sexuality end up doing a lot of damage to a potential lover not through malice, I'm sure, but damage happens.

Seems to me you may be in one of those horror story romances where your BF is going to end up hurting you, not through malice, but because he is figuring out where and what he is and that road has lots of alleys and interests turns and twists.

[Jerry]

Why are you not having sex ? Sex is a part of being in love, so what is your meaning of love then ? Are you religious ?