Hi all, sometimes in my private time I think of my life as a whole and recall incidents from the past.I never really discussed it because it was very traumatic for me but I want to now and hear what you guys think. When I was about 7 or 8 when playing I had a habit of screaming when I was excited or scared. Well my uncle who was about 30 at the time didn't like it.It annoyed him.So one night I was out in the backyard with him,my mom and my grandmother. I don't know what sparked it off and I screamed again and being a young child my screams came out sounding like a girl's screams. So at one point he got up and told me to stop screaming like a girl and then he said, "You're not a girl and I'll show you what you really are" So at that point he yanked down my shorts.I imagine he did that to show me my anatomy and to prove I was really a boy and should not scream like a girl. Anyway I was so petrified I ran inside the house.My father was watching tv in the living room and didn't hear a thing.
At this point I'm sure my mom and grandma read him the riot act.A few minutes later he stepped up to the window and called me over.When I went to the window he apologized to me for doing what he did and I accepted it.Once in a while I think about that and wonder what was wrong with him.He's 80 now and he likes to joke around with people but he's a very high strung man and feels guilty when he goes too far.But that incident from childhood has me curious.What could be wrong with him?
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That is horrible ! He should never had touched you in the first place . I don't know what to say but I am sorry that happened to you he was so far out of line it is not even funny.
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It's just weird! I couldn't belive that a person could make such a thing to a poor child!
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At the time of your youth, and that generation, gender roles were pretty specific. Also more prevalent then were various hazing and shaming type 'peer' pressuring to enforce those gender roles to enforce males to "toughen up". I'd chalk it up to bad parenting skills, and a crotchety guy Fed up with a child's shrill screaming.
I'd also guess things His father did to him were far more heinous.
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I guess he was trying to embarrass you so you wouldn't scream anymore?
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He was a man of his 'generation'. He believed that boys didn't behave the way you did, so he tried to correct it.
While that explains his behavior, it doesn't excuse it. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
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Childhood is filled with a variety of events, some of which are traumatizing. I had a number of incidents in my pre-teen to early teen days. When I was 12 the older neighborhood boys used to pick on me, bring me to their fort and coerce me into performing orally upon them. In Florida, a 40 year old man seduced and sodomized me, In 8th grade, a family friend introduced me to gay play. All of these things were in contrast to my understanding of how things must be in the world, which is probably why I have taken so long to acknowledge my sexuality.
I have long since come to terms with my past life events and have been able to actually help others. For a while, I worked in a program for sexually reactive boys. It was nice to be able to relate to their perspective as an adult, having experienced events similar to theirs in my youth.
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It is funny/scary how some of these moments stay with us for a lifetime.
Like the others, I suspect that your uncle was more a product of the times and of the 'toughen up' school.
For revenge, I would tell him that what he did that day made you a homo and see if he laughs it off now.
Seriously, if you want closure, you should tell him sometime that it was a very upsetting moment in your childhood but that you forgive him for it.
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My grandfather and uncles did stuff of that ilk, maybe not that extreme. I remember my grandfather was irritated by my modesty (as in wanting a private place to change clothes) when I guess his generation was more relaxed about that stuff.
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Thanks guys.I thought it was unspeakable too.I don't even know if he would remember that incident.
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