I Dont Know When

[CrossNecklace]

So Im 21 Years Old And Still "in The Closet". Im Not Really Liking That Phrase Much. Its Really Hard For Me But I Know Its Hard For Everyone. I Know My Family Know, My Parents And My Brothers. But I Just Cant Find The Courage To Actually Tell Them. Its Hard Enough For Me To Actually Say It When Im By Myself. I Know It'll Be Hard To Tell My Closest Friends Too. I Know They'd Understand But I Just Dont Know. How Would They Look At Me You Know? I Just Dont Know When Ill Find The Courage To Come Out To Everyone. I Mean I've Had One Girlfriend That Didnt Last Very Long. To Be Honest It Only Lasted 2 Months And That Was In High School. We Just Made Out Alot. No Sex. Though I Wanted To But I Just Know There'd Be A Problem. She Was Really Hot And Still Is. What Would She Say If I Come Out To Her Then? Some Of My Friends Have Asked Me If I Was Gay And Of Course I Said No. It Hurts When They Ask =[. But They Deserve To Know The Truth. There Are Times When I Couldnt Sleep And I Just Really Wanted To Cry And Tell Someone. I Should Stop Here I Just Want To Know What You Guys Think?

[fjp999]

Seems like you have answered your own questions.

On Everyone: Seems like they all know and all accept it but it remains unspoken.

On Yourself: Just do it! Dont matter how you do it... you owe it to yourself to be honest to yourself first.

It seems like you are in a safe place and wont be in harm of coming out and you are just fighting yourself... making yourself miserable... so Just Do It.

Best of luck

[marshlander]

Twenty-one's not old. I was in my forties, before I could come out ... even to myself, incredible as it sounds. Others have been older. Being in denial all those years caused me some mental health difficulties. Mother Nature doesn't like being ignored!

If everyone knows anyway, you certainly don't have to make a big song and dance of it, unless you decide you want to, that is

Perhaps you'll find it easier to allow yourself to accept this part of you when you have some real news to share; like, for example, you can just talk about what you and your boyfriend did at the weekend?

As Mrs Beaton might have said, "First, find your boyfriend ..."

All the best

[Guy Addict]

I think everybody should bare in mind that lying about your sexuality if asked only makes it much harder to come out in the long-run. If anybody ever asked me if I was gay (which they did) I always said yes, although they always presumed I was joking! When I came out I told a few people at a time and a couple of people wouldnt beleive me, I had to bug somebody for months and he still didnt beleive me (I gave up on him!).

But seriously, lying doesnt do you any good, also like said above if you family and friends already relaise you are gay then they can;t be that bother about it, I suggest you just come out and tell them straight, or get a boyfriend and bring him home!!!

[BobBlack1988]

Hi CrossNecklace
Your situation is very similar to mine. I have come to accept in myself this year and I feel I have come a long way but have still to tell anyone. I am confident my friends and family for the most part will be ok and I want to tell them before I go to university next year.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk to someone in the same situation. mile:

[yar]

Seems like you have answered your own questions.

On Everyone: Seems like they all know and all accept it but it remains unspoken.

On Yourself: Just do it! Dont matter how you do it... you owe it to yourself to be honest to yourself first.

It seems like you are in a safe place and wont be in harm of coming out and you are just fighting yourself... making yourself miserable... so Just Do It.

Best of luck

You can trust flp999 he is the one that helped me come out.

Yar
Ray

[Australia]

The easiest way to come out is when you find a boyfriend. That way when your parents see you with him theyll just know (that they were right lol) and same goes for your friends. Its also easier cause youre in love with him and you dont give a shit what people think. After that youll forget you were ever in the closet.

[Phil]

Sounds like everyones already guessed...i'm with the bite the bullet and do it club

[princealbertofb]

I think you just need to find the right time to come out to people and that time will be right when you can accept that you are perfectly normal and a man who can love (another man).... It's alright, honey. Don't be scared.

[Ralwatt]

Coming out is a really hard thing to do, it takes an awful lot of courage, but it will be nothing compared to the anguish you're in now. You need to be honest with everyone, as tough as that will be.

Good luck honey, once you've told them you'll probably laugh at how easy it was to do after spending so long worrying about it.