finding out you are asexual.

[Virge]

[MENTION=21783]ShiftyNJ[/MENTION], i never said he wasn't happy. after all, he doesn't know what he's missing, so it is incomprehensible to him to understand how sex contributes to happiness. you can be ignorant and blissful at the same time. not impossible.

my point was, if he knew what sexual drive was, this asexuality wouldn't suddenly feel such a bliss after all.

[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑
Yeah. I'll go with that.
Thanks MerryDan.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Virge]

I know a few folks who identify as asexual. One of them is somewhat overweight, but no more overweight than I am. The others are in fact on the skinny side. And none of them have appeared to have adopted the mantle of asexual simply to avoid having to deal with sex or dating. They're maybe not the most social people I know, but they're not hermits, either. Have they been checked out by their doctors? No idea. I didn't ask, since I assume they know more about what's going on with their sexuality (or lack thereof) than I do.

Lex

Here's something that may relate to this.........

Back when there was a big debate about Bisexuality in here I stumbled up on several studies on bisexuals and several of them specified the people they interviewed were all over thirty five. So asked why they limited the survey that way.

To sum up the answer --- Does anyone in here know of less than 100 gay people who didn't start off calling themselves bisexual? Over three fourths the people who say they are bisexual in the 20s change their minds before they are 35 and go with homosexuality or heterosexuality.

If I had the time right now to look at research on asexuals I'd bet they're using the same age limits.

[AceGuy]

[MENTION=21084]Virge[/MENTION], [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION]. I am happy this way. I do not feel that I am missing out on anything as sex is just not interesting to me, and while it may be true that I will never known how awesome sexual intimacy can be you will never know how awesome intimacy can be between adult people that love each other without anything sexual involved. Even if there was a pill I could take to be a non-asexual person I would not take it. Would you take a pill to be straight? We all are victims of hetreonormality, we need to support one another.

[Rareboy]

^ It used to be that many asexuals had religious communities to work within.

I also am sad somehow to hear of anyone emotionally and physiologically disassociated from sex; it is not a state that I would desire for me or anyone that I know.

As others have said, please consult a physician to make sure that there is not an underlying physical issue and then from there-on...knock yourself out. Or don't.

[Virge]

[MENTION=21084]Virge[/MENTION], [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION]. I am happy this way. I do not feel that I am missing out on anything as sex is just not interesting to me, and while it may be true that I will never known how awesome sexual intimacy can be you will never know how awesome intimacy can be between adult people that love each other without anything sexual involved. Even if there was a pill I could take to be a non-asexual person I would not take it. Would you take a pill to be straight? We all are victims of hetreonormality, we need to support one another.

Okay.. this is where I do my Pontius Pilate imitation and wash my hands of this drama. Do it your way, have fun, go ahead and act out your militant asexual fantasies and your delusions of being part of a sexual orientation that isn't even a sexual orientation. For all I care you can take gymnastics so that you can do better than just figuratively stick your head up your butt.

If your 'asexual sexual orientation' is more important to you than the potentially horrible, painful and even deadly results from long range hormonal imbalances... knock yourself out and have it.. Just don't come back whining about your mistakes and your life choices that caused your own problems.

[AceGuy]

I just do not understand why people think asexuality is a medical issue. First of all, it is not an issue of any sort. second, there is not a thing wrong with me. I could ejaculate any time I wanted to, but just can not do so while thinking about anything sexual in nature. The plumbing works just fine. I just do not find people sexually attractive. Sexual orientation has to do with sexual attraction not sex drive/ libido. Just like a gay man does not find women sexually attractive and a straight man does not find men sexually attractive, asexuals do not find anyone sexually attractive and that says nothing about their respective sex drives. You could like the feeling of an orgasm (I do) and even like sex and still be asexual. Sexual orientation is a spectrum, not just a few fixed points. I just happen to be asexual. Keep in mind too, that the existence of asexuality is further proof that sexuality is not a choice. Also take note, if this is the first time that any of you have heard of asexuality I promise you it will not be the last. This will get bigger and bigger until it is a valid orientation next straight, gay, and (Bi, Pan) polysexual. I will not hide any more, and many other asexuals will not either

[Pix]

I've known asexuals, most were otherwise regular people. They could be healthy toward sexuality, one asexual was a fan of Elfquest (which included elf orgies in addition to the more standard type of erotica and she thought it was sweet) and encouraged me to (safely) experiment sexually with both genders as she strongly suspected I was bisexual at least.

And sex and sexuality both contribute to misery (particularly to straight women whereas even men can find it disappointing or left feeling empty after) as well as happiness...which is why some who are sexual envy the asexuals.

Granted, I did know one asexual who suddenly become heterosexual in a big way...but I know of even more who were once straight or gay who suddenly switched orientation as well (but then true asexuality is so rare that it's surprising I even know of one who changed).

[Camfer]

Maybe asexuals will have their own pride parade. Right now they march in gay pride parades. The flag colors are black grey white and purple. I wonder who decided on the purple.

[InThought]

Well, I found this an interesting read but I think some on the comments are a little too critical. Now most of you will have memories of when you were a child, and most of you will say they were the happiest times of your life. For me they were and I was quite a late bloomer in comparison with my friends at school about sexual awareness. I was very naive and innocent and really I still resent the fact that my whole thought system had to change because of sexual attraction, that I became more self conscious, that romance and love dominated my thoughts, that everything you see before you today, war, religion is all to do with sex and power.
Now you have someone here who doesn't have those thoughts of desire as such, now think if sex was only out of necessity for the human race to exist but everyone was asexual, I bet you life would be incredibly peaceful and non judgemental.
I think to be Asexual is to be other worldly, much like creatures from Greek Mythology. Maybe asexual people are made for higher purposes.

[Cuddly]

Dear AceGuy, that was very informative. Thanks for sharing.

If asexuality is indeed caused by hormonal abnormalities (I have no idea if this is the case, but it definately could be in some if not all cases), you should get your hormone levels tested.
Why?
Simply because a lack or an excess of hormones could indicate that something is seriously wrong. Hormones are very tightly regulated by the body, if that fails then something is wrong.

I'm not saying asexuality is not a valid sexual orientation, I'm saying that a lacking sexual drive could be caused by a lack of testosterone. I should really check my physiology book before writing this, but I don't have it with me and you really need to know the gravity of the situation. It could be cancer.
So please, do get checked!