finding out you are asexual.

[Hardheaded1]

I was a virgin until I was 45, but I too view asexuality as most often a health issue. I was never asexual, btw, I was celibate, but unhappily so.

That people can and do learn to embrace their own singleness and some, asexuality, is a good thing in many cases. For some, I think it is very much psychological. For others, physical. And for most, both.

To the OP, I'd have no argument with your self-acceptance and your Not Out and Not Sexual and Proud stance after you've seen both a endocrinologist and a psychologist. Nature abhors a vacuum, and biology itself loads the shotgun. When it doesn't, something went wrong genetically.

And, aside from criminality (rape, pedophilia, etc.), there are NO valid or invalid sexual orientations. We don't get to tell another human his sexuality is valid or not. It is not ours to approve or disapprove, aside from safety.

On a faux serious note, once I saw this series, I knew we'd be seeing a marked increase in intentional asexualism:



I watched only about three episodes a few years back and I considered never using English again as my first language. *shudders*

[Hardheaded1]

Spend five minutes paging through this person's Photobucket account, and the cumulative story told by those pics is not asexual.

[Beaux]

I just do not understand why people think asexuality is a medical issue. First of all, it is not an issue of any sort. second, there is not a thing wrong with me. I could ejaculate any time I wanted to, but just can not do so while thinking about anything sexual in nature. The plumbing works just fine. I just do not find people sexually attractive. Sexual orientation has to do with sexual attraction not sex drive/ libido. Just like a gay man does not find women sexually attractive and a straight man does not find men sexually attractive, asexuals do not find anyone sexually attractive and that says nothing about their respective sex drives. You could like the feeling of an orgasm (I do) and even like sex and still be asexual. Sexual orientation is a spectrum, not just a few fixed points. I just happen to be asexual. Keep in mind too, that the existence of asexuality is further proof that sexuality is not a choice. Also take note, if this is the first time that any of you have heard of asexuality I promise you it will not be the last. This will get bigger and bigger until it is a valid orientation next straight, gay, and (Bi, Pan) polysexual. I will not hide any more, and many other asexuals will not either

I have one question: If you have not been to a doctor and been checked to see if you have a hormonal disorder, then how do you know that you are in fact asexual and not just suffering from a (possibly serious) medical condition?
~Beaux

[himself]

I used to think I was asexual. I wouldn't really label myself as asexual but when people asked about my sexual orientation, I'd say that I didn't like anyone and then they'd use that word to describe me. I still think my sexuality isn't that straightforward, but things are changing now. A few weeks ago, I didn't think I'd like sex at all, but now, the thought seems kind of nice. Back to the original topic, I have researched asexuality and asexuals, and most of them seem very different to me. In some cases, there may be hormonal problems. But many asexuals make a clear distinction between lack of sexual attraction and lack of libido. I'm sure there still things that arouse some of them - what makes them asexual is the lack of attraction to male or female. I think... I hope no one on Tumblr is watching this page, trying to find some problem with my explanation before throwing a tantrum.

[LONDONER]

Why do I think that these are appropriate here:

[AceGuy]

I have one question: If you have not been to a doctor and been checked to see if you have a hormonal disorder, then how do you know that you are in fact asexual and not just suffering from a (possibly serious) medical condition?
~Beaux

I have already explained this. I can get aroused, I can ejaculate, I have experienced the physical effects of puberty. What hormones am I missing? I just do not experience sexual attraction to other people. That is it.

[AceGuy]

Why do I think that these are appropriate here:

Not being true to myself would be regrettable.

[AceGuy]

Well, I found this an interesting read but I think some on the comments are a little too critical. Now most of you will have memories of when you were a child, and most of you will say they were the happiest times of your life. For me they were and I was quite a late bloomer in comparison with my friends at school about sexual awareness. I was very naive and innocent and really I still resent the fact that my whole thought system had to change because of sexual attraction, that I became more self conscious, that romance and love dominated my thoughts, that everything you see before you today, war, religion is all to do with sex and power.
Now you have someone here who doesn't have those thoughts of desire as such, now think if sex was only out of necessity for the human race to exist but everyone was asexual, I bet you life would be incredibly peaceful and non judgemental.
I think to be Asexual is to be other worldly, much like creatures from Greek Mythology. Maybe asexual people are made for higher purposes.

I definitely feel like their are universal benefits for everyone when asexuality becomes fully recognized. But we are just asexual, we are not better than other people.

[AceGuy]

Dear AceGuy, that was very informative. Thanks for sharing.

If asexuality is indeed caused by hormonal abnormalities (I have no idea if this is the case, but it definately could be in some if not all cases), you should get your hormone levels tested.
Why?
Simply because a lack or an excess of hormones could indicate that something is seriously wrong. Hormones are very tightly regulated by the body, if that fails then something is wrong.

I'm not saying asexuality is not a valid sexual orientation, I'm saying that a lacking sexual drive could be caused by a lack of testosterone. I should really check my physiology book before writing this, but I don't have it with me and you really need to know the gravity of the situation. It could be cancer.
So please, do get checked!

OMG! sex drive and sexual attraction are different things. My sex drive is advantage or maybe a little higher; I get arousal (never because of other person), I can ejaculate. I just do not find other people sexually attractive. That is not cancer, good god.

[AceGuy]

I was a virgin until I was 45, but I too view asexuality as most often a health issue. I was never asexual, btw, I was celibate, but unhappily so.

That people can and do learn to embrace their own singleness and some, asexuality, is a good thing in many cases. For some, I think it is very much psychological. For others, physical. And for most, both.

To the OP, I'd have no argument with your self-acceptance and your Not Out and Not Sexual and Proud stance after you've seen both a endocrinologist and a psychologist. Nature abhors a vacuum, and biology itself loads the shotgun. When it doesn't, something went wrong genetically.

And, aside from criminality (rape, pedophilia, etc.), there are NO valid or invalid sexual orientations. We don't get to tell another human his sexuality is valid or not. It is not ours to approve or disapprove, aside from safety.

On a faux serious note, once I saw this series, I knew we'd be seeing a marked increase in intentional asexualism:

I watched only about three episodes a few years back and I considered never using English again as my first language. *shudders*

Look I am asexual. I know that because of how happy it made me when I first discovered that other people do not find sex interesting and could live with out it. We can not really trust the psychological/medical fields because many of those practicing refuse to accept the existence of asexuality.