What should I do? :(

[WarmWhispers]

Btw, he messaged me this evening..... And I pretend to be really cool
Thanks you guys so much! I guess because I am Asian, and I don't have much experience on dating.
So I am a little bit emotional and maybe annoying sometimes....

I will stop woolgathering and try to be a normal person from now on!

[WarmWhispers]

Wow. This.

Get some perspective.

And don't push too hard. Try to allow a balanced approach to happen.

And stop texting unless you are arranging a date or saying thank-you.

Live in the real world as much as possible. Definitely go out for coffee with the new guy.

Thanks for the help! You are right I should live in the real world instead of in my endless illusion. I guess I thought about it too much because I am in a vacation and have nothing to do....- -#

[WarmWhispers]

DEFINITELY go out for coffee with the new guy!!!!

Chances are the chemistry wasn't there in person for him which is the chance you take when you meet someone online. I would assume this is the case and move forward....

yeah, now I don't feel guilty any more

[WarmWhispers]

well this guy did say he is shy and acted that way at your dinner date , I wonder if he's feeling like you too I.e is he thinking he should call you or text you too, or did you think hes not interesting or just plain boring ?? neither of you will find out unless one of you contacts the other - you don't have to ask him out on another date and seem pushy, just ask him how is he today etc,,general chit chat and maybe later ask if he enjoyed your meeting...if things don't lead anywhere then so be it...life's a series of failures and the odd triumph

He seems to be a sensitive guy also. The sad thing is I am also, lol.
I will try to pace myself. I just fear rejection or being annoying sometimes ...

[WarmWhispers]

In a potential relationship (whether it's a friendship, romantic relationship, etc) with a shy person, there will always be the necessity for someone to take the reigns. This is almost always -not- going to be the shy guy.

So you can either let him go, or take the reigns and see if he responds. But you can't sit back and wait for him to take the reigns if it's in his nature not to do so. It just won't happen.

From your post, it seems to me you would be happier with someone more forward. If that's the case? You should go for coffee with the other guy as he clearly has more potential as an aggressor in the development of a relationship if things work out.

You are definitely right, I have no idea how to take the reigns, lol.
Normally I just wait right there to wait for others' move....
Since he is shier than me , I have to be another person this time. haha

[WarmWhispers]

I can completely relate to how attached you get to people you have been messaging all day every day, it's happened to me so often too. I think it's a very good thing that you did meet up with him in real life, because as Borg mentioned texting does not mean getting into a relationship, something I learned the hard way.
I'm definitely an overthinker like you seem to be as well, I know how hard it can be to not doubt about everything, but I do believe it's worth it to at least try to calm down and talk about things in real life instead of over text. How hypocritical that sounds coming from me

True, I am such an overthinker, I should stop guessing his mind....
I always imagined a lot at the beginning and earned a lot of sadness at the end. That's basically how things happened on me, lol. I wouldn't be that serious anymore, I don't really it is good or not.

[Virge]

Met a guy on the internet...
had dinner with him once...
Now worried about what it means that he's not responding like you expect of him.
Afraid you are pushing him away.
You want to understand and need answers from him...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! You are the first guy to come to GS with these problems in 29 hours !!!!!!!

Hang around a week and you'll get to meet 20 guys doing the same crap you're doing and asking tha same questions....

[WarmWhispers]

Hello WarmWhispers and welcome to GS!

I agree that you should consider actually calling this guy you like just to chat, and seeing how the conversation goes. Maybe mention that you had a great time on your date and see where that leads. It would also be perfectly okay to ask him out again, too. Of course, that would set you up for possible rejection. But, at least then you would know his feelings for sure.

Regardless, I would definitely go out with the other guy for coffee.

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I am fear of being rejected so I am so hesitant....
And I have no clue about his feels at all. Fortunately he messaged me today

[WarmWhispers]

Met a guy on the internet...
had dinner with him once...
Now worried about what it means that he's not responding like you expect of him.
Afraid you are pushing him away.
You want to understand and need answers from him...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! You are the first guy to come to GS with these problems in 29 hours !!!!!!!

Hang around a week and you'll get to meet 20 guys doing the same crap you're doing and asking tha same questions....

Lol. I know I am silly. This kind of problem is nearly cliche in here.
I actually know what I should do, but I just can't stop thinking about it.
Maybe I should study Swedish to distract myself.....
If everyone is the same funny and rational like you, the world would be nicer.

[Rareboy]

True, I am such an overthinker, I should stop guessing his mind....
I always imagined a lot at the beginning and earned a lot of sadness at the end. That's basically how things happened on me, lol. I wouldn't be that serious anymore, I don't really it is good or not.

this is often the marker for neurosis....you might want to discuss this with a counsellor to see what the origins of this might be.....