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01-27-2015, 04:19 PM

i need help, i have a boyfriend online who lives far from me but i now met this gay guy at school who is super cute and super nice, i think i like him but i already got a boyfriend, he says he likes me more then a friend, i want to date him, but i also want the boy i'm dating, i have to pick one of them but who?!?!?!

01-27-2015, 04:37 PM

Question: How long has it been that you have been dating this guy online? Do you think it's feasible you will ever see each other? If the answer is no, then all you are doing is cheating yourself out of going for a bf in real life...

01-27-2015, 04:38 PM

I think on occasion in life you will find several people that you think are cute, they may like you allot, but its generally frowned upon to drop a relationship on those two facts alone.
If you really like/love whom your with as is implied when you say he is your bf, then stick with him. Just because the grass may look a little greener on the other side doesn't mean it necessarily is.

Put yourself in your bf shoes, what if YOUR bf decided to drop you for no better reason than a cute face he found that said he liked your bf.

Borg69 · 01-27-2015, 05:43 PM

vmarchisello Wrote:i need help, i have a boyfriend online who lives far from me but i now met this gay guy at school who is super cute and super nice, i think i like him but i already got a boyfriend, he says he likes me more then a friend, i want to date him, but i also want the boy i'm dating, i have to pick one of them but who?!?!?!

IMO you should pick reality over fantasy. Go for the local guy who is interested. Odds are the virtual BF whom I assume you've never met in person is some kind of safety net/security blanket place holder because you are longing for a real time relationship. Those long distance virtual things rarely ever work out when trying to force them into the real world and you actually get to know each other in real life.

01-27-2015, 06:03 PM

I'd go with Borg on this one. I'd go for the one I can actually love and show I love him. Because, let's face it, what is the likelihood of you and virtual boyfriend ever to meet? If it's really remote and you've not even spoken of dating in real life one day, he could just as well be a fake. It's happened before.
With your real life cute interest, at least you'd get a bit of experience. So, ok, it would be very nice of you to actually tell your online boyfriend that you are getting some interest locally and that you'd like to experiment. At your age it is logical and normal to experiment. Maybe this cute interest won't lead to anything more. But then there's no guarantee that your virtual boyfriend will ever be more than that. Have you and virtual boyfriend exchanged cam chats? Do you know that he actually exists? I think we need a bit more feedback on the virtual boyfriend before going into depth with the real life prospect.

01-27-2015, 06:18 PM

I'd just tell online BF the truth. You found somebody nearby who you find interesting, and who finds you interesting, and you want to see if there's anything potentially there.

Lex

01-27-2015, 06:22 PM

I think Lex has got it right. The truth would be better. How afraid of 'hurting' the virtual boyfriend are you? Is virtual boyfriend ...
...1) real?
...2) treating you with the same kind of regard as you are?

MikeW · 01-28-2015, 02:01 AM

vmarchisello Wrote:i need help, i have a boyfriend online who lives far from me but i now met this gay guy at school who is super cute and super nice, i think i like him but i already got a boyfriend, he says he likes me more then a friend, i want to date him, but i also want the boy i'm dating, i have to pick one of them but who?!?!?!

H E L L O

DATING is dating. It isn't going steady let alone marriage in a monogamous relationship.

17yos should DATEÃ¢Â€Â¦ and if you have an opportunity to date someone IRL, you should, just as your online BF should if he has the opportunity.

01-28-2015, 01:10 PM

You aren't dating the guy on-line. You aren't in an actual relationship with the guy on-line.

You are pen-pals.

Live in the real world. Date the local guy and see where it goes.

01-28-2015, 07:36 PM

Oh look... its my wheelhouse!

Gideon and I met online almost 7 years ago in a RPG (interactive storytelling) environment. We "dated" online a long time, and live thousands of miles away from each other. Unlike [MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION] says, it is NOT always just a penpal relationship, yeah? But you do have to understand that some people cannot connect via social media, online venues, etc. The emotional component isn't there for them, so they just can't quite grasp it yeah?

Gid knew from the first that I was for him. He KNEW even before we met online, let alone in person. (He silently stalked me around the site for a good 2 months before we ever met online.) I was a little more slow to come around. But the fact is, if you and he have decided you ARE in a relationship, and that that relationship is monogamous? Then it doesn't matter if it is an online only relationship or not.

If, on the other hand, you have made no such agreements, and not had that discussion about monogamy? Then there are no restraints there other than your own personal dedication to your boyfriend and/or guilty conscience that might stem from that.

That aspect aside. I agree with [MENTION=18582]NayNay[/MENTION] .. you need to decide 1) if you are ever going to move into a face-to-face relationship with your online boyfriend, and 2) if no, are you willing to be monogamous to him, regardless of never seeing him in person.... which in other words essentially means giving up sex other than masturbation.

IF you decide to check things out with this other in-person guy? As [MENTION=21778]Lexington[/MENTION] said, you need to be honest with your online boyfriend about it -before- you pursue the idea further.

Feel free to reply or send me questions if you want to go more in depth with the topic.