being intimate in public

[Anonymous]

i'm quite a shy and self-conscious person. i'll feel shy kissing and making out with my partner (if i have one) in the public. (but when in private its a different story ) i'm okay with holding hands with him in public.

do you think not being intimate in public makes me an undesirable date?

do most guys want to be intimate with their partners in public.

would like to know your views.

[princealbertofb]

Anonymous, I don't feel comfortable being too intimate with my partner in public. Partly it is due to my age, I must admit. But it's got to do with how you think you will be perceived... Will you be safe showing some kind of love and affection when all can see it, set aside your natural modesty and shyness? Public displays of affection are not for all. I think you are a private person, so maybe you should keep it that way. However, if you need to feel strong and more resolute about displaying your affection in public, you also need to take into account how your partner will feel about it. My partner makes damned sure that I'm comfortable with whatever public displays we make, but it never oversteps my comfort zone or boundaries, nor his.

[Rareboy]

There's nothing sweeter than seeing two young guys walking hand in hand or hugging..but beyond this, unless it is Pride or MardiGras or a club....almost all PDA's like tongue fucking one another's mouth, or dry humping are just not socially necessary.

[Lexington]

Completely depends on the people involved. Some guys would just as soon not even be seen touching their partner in public, while others like to get as close to orgasm as possible. I doubt this would be a dlealbreaker for your boyfriend, but I would make sure he knows that it has nothing to do with him personally - you just feel very uncomfortable with PDAs.

Lex

[princealbertofb]

[MENTION=21495]Rareboy[/MENTION], what you said...

[Borg69]

There's a time and place for everything... interpreting where and when those are is a grey area left up to the individual(s), and the surrounding populace, IMO. I would do it in Palm Springs, but I wouldn't do it in my own home town.

I also think part of it boils down to insecurity... but my perceptions are similar to PrinceAlbert's with my age. Sometimes I feel like PDA's aren't so much a testament of your undying love as it is an insecure warning sign to others that "This man is Taken! Back Off!". Much like dogs peeing on stuff to mark their territory.

[princealbertofb]

There's a time and place for everything... interpreting where and when those are is a grey area left up to the individual(s), and the surrounding populace, IMO. I would do it in Palm Springs, but I wouldn't do it in my own home town.

I also think part of it boils down to insecurity... but my perceptions are similar to PrinceAlbert's with my age. Sometimes I feel like PDA's aren't so much a testament of your undying love as it is an insecure warning sign to others that "This man is Taken! Back Off!". Much like dogs peeing on stuff to mark their territory.

Actually it's not so much a question of showing 'them' that this man is already taken... It's more a question, in my case, of not giving any chance to any potential gaybashing. That is a thing that does worry me, maybe unduly, but I'm not going to encourage it if I can help it. I too may publicly display my affection with my partner in Palm Springs or Provincetown. Elsewhere? Not so sure. It's bad enough to be called a faggot in the street by someone you don't know when you aren't even in a 'faggotty' situation. Where did THAT come from? I'm not going to invite insult or harm if I can help it.

[princealbertofb]

There's a time and place for everything... interpreting where and when those are is a grey area left up to the individual(s), and the surrounding populace, IMO. I would do it in Palm Springs, but I wouldn't do it in my own home town.

I also think part of it boils down to insecurity... but my perceptions are similar to PrinceAlbert's with my age. Sometimes I feel like PDA's aren't so much a testament of your undying love as it is an insecure warning sign to others that "This man is Taken! Back Off!". Much like dogs peeing on stuff to mark their territory.

Is it fair to say that people who publicly display their affection are just trying to show ownership? Sometimes I think you could be so engrossed in your own little bubble of fun and romance, that you'd forget about the rest of the world and just indulge.
At school we tell the students that public displays of affection have to remain discreet, not that students heed all the rules, but at least if we have to make a remark, at least they'd know where it was coming from. "Get a room, you two!" Haha.

[Borg69]

Is it fair to say that people who publicly display their affection are just trying to show ownership? Sometimes I think you could be so engrossed in your own little bubble of fun and romance, that you'd forget about the rest of the world and just indulge.
At school we tell the students that public displays of affection have to remain discreet, not that students heed all the rules, but at least if we have to make a remark, at least they'd know where it was coming from. "Get a room, you two!" Haha.

As I said... my current opinion comes from my age. Were it my 1-3rd BF, I could see that possibly happening. Now?? Been there, done that - let's wait until we get home.

But even with 1-3+, I was still (mostly) discreet in public.

[LJay]

Look around you. Gauge your behavior accordingly.