Need a date!

[djharris79]

So I haven't had a date since like ever and I'm not exaggerating. It is true. I haven't had anyone hit on me and because I'm very discrete and don't really know anyone that might or is gay, I haven't tried to make a move on anyone. So I'll admit it, I am desperate. Desperate for someone to hangout spend time with. Someone to go out on a date perhaps share a kiss, hold hands or just cuddle as we watch a movie or something. How can I make myself be more approachable. I am very masculine. Does that hinder my chances in having someone approach me because they assume I'm straight? Should I change my appearance to look more flamboyant? Sorry very stupid questions.....no offense to anyone...but what can I do to increase my chances in getting a date?

[Borg69]

So I haven't had a date since like ever and I'm not exaggerating. It is true. I haven't had anyone hit on me and because I'm very discrete and don't really know anyone that might or is gay, I haven't tried to make a move on anyone. So I'll admit it, I am desperate. Desperate for someone to hangout spend time with. Someone to go out on a date perhaps share a kiss, hold hands or just cuddle as we watch a movie or something. How can I make myself be more approachable. I am very masculine. Does that hinder my chances in having someone approach me because they assume I'm straight? Should I change my appearance to look more flamboyant? (WTF?) Sorry very stupid questions.....no offense to anyone...but what can I do to increase my chances in getting a date?

Stop waiting around for someone to come to you. Take a more aggressive approach and actively go out looking for someone. Mr. Right isn't going to magically drop out of the sky on your lap, you have to do the 12 Labors of Hercules and rescue the damsel in distress from the tower guarded by the dragon.

You're going to have to put some effort into it and expect some rejection along the way. Ask out 20 guys. At least ONE of them will say yes. Use Google and find out where gay guys hang out in your city. Go there. Go there a LOT. Smile. Be friendly. Be assertive. Be forward. ... but don't be creepy.

[MikeW]

I haven't been to Sacramento in ages but I'm pretty sure there's a fairly large and active gay community there. So, what to do? You have to find it and find your place in it. That will probably mean going to bars -- but my advice is, don't go there with the intention of hooking up with anyone. Just go there to find out who the regulars are and get to know them.

Beyond that, just google "gay groups in sacramento" and find out what's going on around you. There are probably meet-up groups and other things. You have to get to know people, figure out 'who is who' … that is, who is worth knowing and who should best be avoided.

For sure there are apps and dating sites but you have to learn how to be selective IF what you want is a "date" and not just a hookup. That's why I'm suggesting IRL getting to know folks first.

[princealbertofb]

Hello, djharris, and to GaySpeak. Some people are not too comfortable with going to places where all the gays hang out, the gay scene, as it is called, because it feels really awkward and a bit sad, maybe.
My approach to finding someone would be to join a group or some groups of activities. Let's say that, as a really masculine guy, you enjoy going hiking... Why don't you get yourself into a hiking group? If you enjoy singing and have a good voice, join a choir or a music group, or singing practice. Do you enjoy cooking? Join a cookery club or lesson. The chances are that you'd meet people, then, from there you can meet other people, widen your horizons, and, who knows? you might actually meet people who are gay and looking for just that thing you wanted, the hugs, the holding hands etc. You just need to get closer to people, not just gay ones. People know other people, remember.
So what are your areas of interest?

[Camfer]

what can I do to increase my chances in getting a date?

You can ask guys to go on a date with you.

[Virge]

Don't change the way you act in order to act like someone you aren't. << that's just plain stupid and will make it harder to people to like you for who and what you are. Plus -- let's face it -- there are more guys in the world looking for guys who don't outwardly act gay that there are guys looking for gay guys you can spot from 500 yards.

You just need to loosen up, relax and get involved in order to meet people... and accept that you're going to meet some jerks and make some mistakes on your own before you meet a guy you get along with as well as he gets along with you.