Sexless Relationship - Something not right?
03-04-2015, 11:38 PM
Ignore the previous post about this - have added some details that may be helpful and don't know how to delete the previous one.
Hi guys
I am in a funny situation at the moment and I don't know what to do.
I have been in a (what I seem to be serious) relationship for just over a year now. Theres is a big age difference between us but that isn't an issue to either of us or our families. I am 19, he's 42. Although we don't have a house together, pretty much all of my stuff is at his now and stay at his all nights apart from maybe one or two. He travels a lot with his work so he is away most of the week and nearly all weekends, we see each other maybe 3 evenings out of the 7 a week and occasionally Sundays together. We get on well, a frequent exchange of 'I love you's' and cuddles and all that soppy stuff, we talk and text throughout the days but theres one thing that bothers me a lot, sex.
At the start of our relationship we had a - what I would say - healthy sex life. But for quite a few months now something hasn't been right. Last time we engaged in such activity was maybe 3 weeks ago and before that it was 2 months, maybe a month before that and so on. I constantly get rejected and any attempt to make an advance usually results with a lot of "We will tonight" which then in the evening turns to "Im too tired now, how about in the morning." - obviously creating a cycle of No's. Now I don't ask 24/7, and in no way do I beg like its my only thought, but maybe once in the week I will try and become intimate with him, the same thing every time.
I have brought this issue up with him once or twice in the past but that lead to arguments and tears on my half out of frustration of the situation (yes I'm a big softie).
I want to know if you guys have any idea to this problem? Is it my fault at all or am I doing something wrong? I wouldn't say I am unnattractive, I play rugby, workout and maintain a healthy body - I obviously wasn't undesirable initially and not a lot has changed since then.
In the past I have caught him talking to someone else, but he claims that it was just someone talking to him friendly after speaking on twitter - he has a lot of attention on social media through his work, even though there was no evidence of them interacting on twitter apart from following each other… anyway - I let the issue go, and that was that.. But it also questions whether this lack of sex is because he is getting it elsewhere maybe? If so, how can I bring this issue up to get the truth without accusing.
I just want to find out what is going on and I don't know how I can do this.
I know sex isn’t everything and I do value the other qualities of our relationship, but it makes me feel incredibly distant.
Thanks if you took the time to read this.
Hi guys
I am in a funny situation at the moment and I don't know what to do.
I have been in a (what I seem to be serious) relationship for just over a year now. Theres is a big age difference between us but that isn't an issue to either of us or our families. I am 19, he's 42. Although we don't have a house together, pretty much all of my stuff is at his now and stay at his all nights apart from maybe one or two. He travels a lot with his work so he is away most of the week and nearly all weekends, we see each other maybe 3 evenings out of the 7 a week and occasionally Sundays together. We get on well, a frequent exchange of 'I love you's' and cuddles and all that soppy stuff, we talk and text throughout the days but theres one thing that bothers me a lot, sex.
At the start of our relationship we had a - what I would say - healthy sex life. But for quite a few months now something hasn't been right. Last time we engaged in such activity was maybe 3 weeks ago and before that it was 2 months, maybe a month before that and so on. I constantly get rejected and any attempt to make an advance usually results with a lot of "We will tonight" which then in the evening turns to "Im too tired now, how about in the morning." - obviously creating a cycle of No's. Now I don't ask 24/7, and in no way do I beg like its my only thought, but maybe once in the week I will try and become intimate with him, the same thing every time.
I have brought this issue up with him once or twice in the past but that lead to arguments and tears on my half out of frustration of the situation (yes I'm a big softie).
I want to know if you guys have any idea to this problem? Is it my fault at all or am I doing something wrong? I wouldn't say I am unnattractive, I play rugby, workout and maintain a healthy body - I obviously wasn't undesirable initially and not a lot has changed since then.
In the past I have caught him talking to someone else, but he claims that it was just someone talking to him friendly after speaking on twitter - he has a lot of attention on social media through his work, even though there was no evidence of them interacting on twitter apart from following each other… anyway - I let the issue go, and that was that.. But it also questions whether this lack of sex is because he is getting it elsewhere maybe? If so, how can I bring this issue up to get the truth without accusing.
I just want to find out what is going on and I don't know how I can do this.
I know sex isn’t everything and I do value the other qualities of our relationship, but it makes me feel incredibly distant.
Thanks if you took the time to read this.
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