What does this particular hug meant on a sex date?

[Anonymous]

I need your opinion guys. Please bear with my English. haha! mile:

I met this guy from Grindr for a hookup. I know that meeting guys from apps or sites like I mentioned are mostly up for a NSA engagement. I have been meeting a couple of guys ever since and I’m pretty sure I know where I stand. However, this guy just hit me differently. I can’t get over him ever since I hooked up with him. He’s been appearing in my freaking dreams for two days now. He was actually polite and caring when we had our moment and I’m pretty sure I felt it from him, although he was obviously masking something personal which I truly understand and respect because ours was plainly a hookup.

And to describe his personality, he’s a really straight-acting gay or bi guy, he acts like a man. I can say that there was a slight arrogance with the way he carry himself like most really straight-acting gay or bi guys. Well me, I’m just a geeky, semi-flamboyant gay guy. mile:

Anyway, I also tried to kiss him which he favorably returned. But he told me politely that he don’t usually kiss on sex dates because he’s lips are sensitive and gets allergic which I certainly understood. For the sex part, I can feel that he was caring and forthcoming. He even came twice. After which, we had a little bit of a personal talk about our personal lives. Just the gist I believe so not the whole cake which again I perfectly understood. He even pulled me closer on his right shoulder while we were lying when we did that little talk. And after that small talk we just closed our eyes for a couple of minutes and just hugged and felt each other while in silence. When it was time to go, we finished cleaning up. He asked me who will check out first whether me or him. A protocol perhaps. I told him he may go first and I thanked him for the night. He then, moved and hugged me tightly from my back. I was startled when he did that so I returned the hug, I gave him an awkward guy or pound hug, in front of our bodies, which he politely accepted. Then we said our goodbyes. I did not text him the day after ‘cause I’m afraid that he’ll sense that I tend to be clingy. Neither had he given me call or a text.

I am just curious what does that hug from the back means for a hookup like that? Was he just being polite? Should I expect something from good here? I am getting to like him more day by day. Usually I’m not like this. What can you say guys?

Thanks in advance! mile:

[MikeW]

Well, just guessing, it was a sign of appreciation for your time together. Don't over think stuff like this, just enjoy it if you're enjoying it. God, if you want to know what something someone does means *to them* just ask them for pity's sake.

Now, given your appreciation for the guy, I wouldn't wait to text him and say something like, "Hey, I really enjoyed our time together. I hope you did as well. Would you be up for a repeat? Please let me know if so," (or however you'd word that… say what is true for you). Now, either he'll reply or he won't. In either case, you'll have an answer to your question, then you just take it from there. I don't see that as "clingy." I see that as expressing appreciation and interest.

For lordy's sake people, if you're interested in someone *let them know* either through words, actions or both. You don't have to over do it, but why be shy about it? Either it is reciprocal or it isn't and you might as well find out ASAP, right?

[MikeW]

Oh, and PS, why the hell does this question have to be asked anonymously? Seriously??

[Borg69]

IMO -

The hug means it's a good start, but WAY too soon to fall in love. Get 20-40+ more of these hugs/dates from the same guy under your belt (no pun) and THEN I'll tell you you're doing GREAT !!!!

[Lexington]

You don't have to sit there reading tea leaves. You stuck your dicks into each other. At that point, you're allowed to start asking questions. So feel free to message him and say "I had a great time the other day. Let me know if you'd like to meet up again."

Lex

[TwisttheLeaf]

If it were me giving that kind of hug at the end of a hook up, chances are it would either mean you managed to touch me somewhere beyond my dick (emotions, heart, etc) and I just wanted to savor it a second longer before letting it slip away. Or, a silent indication I'd like to hook up again because I think it was a good match.

[Rareboy]

You don't have to sit there reading tea leaves. You stuck your dicks into each other. At that point, you're allowed to start asking questions. So feel free to message him and say "I had a great time the other day. Let me know if you'd like to meet up again."

Lex

Oh for heaven's sakes.

This.

[reaper]

I can't really read what a particular hug meant, but I don't think that part was that important.

It sounds like you guys had a good time and got along pretty well. That's good, Grindr hookups can feel strange sometimes and it's a nice surprise when they don't.

It's impossible to read to much what a single hookup can mean, and I wouldn't overthink it to much, or say to much to the guy.

What I mean is don't hit the guy with a bunch of questions or seem overly interested right away. This may scare him off even if he does have some interest, or happens to be on the fence about where to go from here.

Like others have said, send him a text but keep it light. "hey man, the other night was fun, if you'd like to meet again I'd be game"

Not word for word, but something light along those lines.

I was in a very similar situation. I met a guy on Grindr and we had chemistry before we actually met. In a very short period of time we had multiple meetings. The first few hookups we were playing it cool, keeping our guards up even though we both felt something was there. Then we went on a date/hookup and the wall came down. A week after we met we started going out. We just passed 2 months and next week we are going on our first couple vacation.

A lot of people say tell the person how you feel and be honest....of course this makes sense. But do things in the right time. To much to soon isn't always the way to go. I've had guys come on to strong right away on some dates and it was a turn off.

And I'm glad you are excited. You seem prone to taking bad news badly....but however this works out look it as a good thing.

You met someone, had a good time, and have positive feeling about the encounter. If it goes well great. If it was just a hookup, you know you can meet other people and have a similar experience. Maybe that time it'll be more or better then the first.

Enjoy life as it unfolds!!!

Good luck.

[ShiftyNJ]

So it would be wrong to play torch songs outside his house on one of these? I've been doing it all wrong.

[Albie]

I agree with Lex. If you want to see him again, text him and tell him the same. As for hugs, I would imagine it means that he likes you enough to want to see you again.