Rate Thread
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
How to meet guys?
#1
So, im 26 and ive never had a boyfriend. Its starting to get to me....I just feel lonely.
I have a few confidence issues, im not very good at meeting guys (or people even)
I've tried the obvious apps for the past year but its no luck, a few dating sites have allowed me to chat to a few guys but thats it.

I don't really have any friends that can take me to a bar to get me out maybe meet someone, I don't think I could go alone.
I just feel like im getting older now, I think it will be harder for me to find/meet guys once I get older.

I feel a little trapped at what to do, how do I meet guys? Its not sex im looking for. Im still a virgin, im not bothered by being a virgin, its not sex I need.....I just kinda need someone.
Im not even sure how to talk to guys.
Reply

#2
I think part of the problem is that we build this up in our minds to the point that we're overwhelmed and petrified.

If you aren't looking for sex, then apps like Grindr are an exercise in futility.

Instead of focusing on meeting men, try to simply meet people. What do you like to do? Photography? Bird watching? Tennis? Find a group of like-minded people and join in. If you're less lonely, you're more relaxed. Talking to people improves your social skills. And there may not be any eligible gay guys in your bird watching group,, but you meet people through people, and who's to say that Mr. Right-for-you won't turn up in that ever expanding circle?

Oh, and welcome to GS!
Reply

#3
Mark88 Wrote:I don't really have any friends that can take me to a bar to get me out maybe meet someone, I don't think I could go alone.

I feel a little trapped at what to do, how do I meet guys?

Some things in life you HAVE to do alone. Making yourself go out and meet people are one of them, if you don't want to remain single. People aren't going to talk to you if you're already immersed in a group, and no one wants to be your hand holding wing man only to be dumped once you found the love of your life. You're going to have to put some effort into this.

I assume you have a job? How did you find that job? You have to research where there are openings, put together a resume, hopefully be qualified, dress right for the interview, make a good first impression, and once you have the job show up every day and put in your best effort.

Dating isn't much different and I'm relatively sure you didn't have someone go with you on your job interviews. Grab some courage, grow a pair, and get out there and mingle. Talk to people. Be forward and a little aggressive. You WANT this "job"... don't you? Prove it!!! You'll almost never get a job standing on a street corner in a group of people waiting for someone to walk up and offer you a job out of the blue.
Reply

#4
Welcome to forum. Smile

I feel the same way that you do from time to time so I fully understand where you are coming from. Like East has stated you are really just going to have to push yourself and put yourself out there.
Reply

#5
I'd love to give you some advice, but I find myself in the same sort of situation. Doesn't help that I am severely introverted.

Borg's advice is really good though. Have to get out of your comfort zone to reel somebody into your comfort zone.
Reply

#6
I've heard it might help to start taking walks in the woods and catch a man when he falls off a tree. You'll have about the same odds as on dating apps. Exercise and fresh air never hurt anyone either.

You say you "need" someone. You really just want someone.

In order to achieve what you want you need to get your butt off dating apps looking for someone.
You need to get past your issue about physically walking in a bar or club so you can find a man you want.
Reply

#7
Quote:I don't really have any friends that can take me to a bar to get me out maybe meet someone, I don't think I could go alone.
I just feel like im getting older now, I think it will be harder for me to find/meet guys once I get older.

You can go there alone. And survive and thrive. Many of us went though this when we were younger. It may be a little scary the first couple of times and you might have to search out the place you feel most comfortable....but you can do it and have fun. And that is the objective here. Smile at everyone, say hi, get to know the bartender or a staff person....it can be like a big party.

If you have social anxiety issues though, maybe you need to work your way into the bar scene. Find the coffee joint where all the guys go. Or if that isn't happening...as has been suggested, look for groups you can join. Or can volunteer with.
Reply

#8
Well I guess.... like what people have said... talking to people here would be a start... to be honest... I'm in the same situation... BUT I've had boyfriends and I was once one of those app fanatics... I did meet people from the app but like you said... SEX is what most of them are looking for... Clubs aren't a bad idea as well but you have to know that people go there for hook ups... well at least places i've been if not that... simply have fun with friends (easy to find hard to talk to)... Based on experience, I'd say what Pyromancer said would be the most helpful... and i know this app that's really trendy right now and fun to use... have you tried Tinder? I'd recommend it as most of the people there are decent...
Reply



Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Do some men have no intent to ever meet in person? SilentFilm1988 13 1,733 10-15-2024, 10:17 PM
Last Post: Crystalcreo
  People making assumptions before you even meet SilentFilm1988 2 583 11-12-2021, 05:33 PM
Last Post: InbetweenDreams
  Should I lower the bar and date guys I don't like for the sake of not feeling lonely? Peter4822 17 2,860 07-07-2016, 05:08 AM
Last Post: JackTX
  Need help guys bryyzy 34 5,422 06-09-2016, 10:01 PM
Last Post: strider65
  Is talking to guys online a signal that I'm gay and not just curious Jakej29 8 1,777 01-22-2016, 08:29 AM
Last Post: LONDONER

Forum Jump:


Recently Browsing
2 Guest(s)

© 2002-2024 GaySpeak.com