What would you guys think of this "friendship"?

[Borg69]

Thus far he's been the initiator and you've been pretty passive about it and letting it happen.

Turn the tables on him and initiate it yourself. One up him. Put your hand on his leg and work your way up until he's uncomfortable. See how far you can go.

[heythere999]

I'm not too sure what to do, is all.

A few friends that know of this suggest to make him more comfortable down the road to open up to me. But would that really work?

Unfortunately, I'm not the type of guy to break boundaries without asking for permission. And I've told him months before I wouldn't do something like randomly try to kiss him. And plus if I act flirty with him he'll know what my intentions are. So I'm kind of stuck.

And in terms of the comfort, I say this because pretty much every conversation we've had he's seemed very... Non-genuine. And I looked up his actions to see if I was just crazy, and I'm not. He displayed so many signs of dishonest behavior and anxiety, like looking at his phone to check the time, his legs shaking, his face blushing, preening, not really giving me much eye contact, etc.

What do I do? What can I do to make him comfortable? How do you deal with someone who lies to himself, I guess? It's a very sticky situation.

[Rareboy]

You're over-analyzing.

I suspect that you actually feel safer speculating about his motivations and actions than acting on them.

It is easier that way. You don't have the risk of being rejected by him or of having all the emotional and sexual pressure that you'd have if he actually let you suck his cock or allowed him to fuck you.

Writing about it every few weeks is a great way to keep your spank bank fantasy alive and to live in hope that magically, one day, he might just do you.

And you tell us he's a fake.

So I would ask you. Why would you waste a moment of your life writing a novel about his every little gesture and move?

Why don't you just move on and get yourself a real boyfriend that you can actually have wild sex with and go out to the movies with and really share your time with??????

[Lexington]

Tell him if he wants to have sex (even "downlow sex"), he knows where you live. Otherwise, lay off the flirty stuff.

My fault for typing this early in the morning. What I meant to say was:

Tell him if he wants to have sex (even "downlow sex"), he knows where you live. Otherwise, tell him to lay off the flirty stuff.

Lex

[heythere999]

You're over-analyzing.

I suspect that you actually feel safer speculating about his motivations and actions than acting on them.

It is easier that way. You don't have the risk of being rejected by him or of having all the emotional and sexual pressure that you'd have if he actually let you suck his cock or allowed him to fuck you.

Writing about it every few weeks is a great way to keep your spank bank fantasy alive and to live in hope that magically, one day, he might just do you.

And you tell us he's a fake.

So I would ask you. Why would you waste a moment of your life writing a novel about his every little gesture and move?

Why don't you just move on and get yourself a real boyfriend that you can actually have wild sex with and go out to the movies with and really share your time with??????

How am I being fake? Lol

And what exactly am I over-analyzing?

The thing is, had I not told him anything, I would listen to your advice, and I'd be more straightforward and I'd hardcore flirt back. But it's too late for that. Going the "flirty" route would be too obvious and he'd know my intentions.

[ShiftyNJ]

and he'd know my intentions

Why, please explain, would it be bad for one person in this story being honest about what he is looking for? Even if you "scare him away" at least you are being real. Isn't the alternative basically tricking him into something for which he's not prepared?

You have enough issues of your own. I really think you'd be better off with someone who is more secure and sure of what he's looking for.

[Beaux]

And what exactly am I over-analyzing?

EVERYTHING.
I have pretty much stayed out of this conversation because it is a pretty typical "I am in love with a straight guy" thread which we get at least a couple of each week, and over my years of being here I have pretty much stopped responding to because after responding to hundreds of them I feel like I have paid my dues.
However, now you are getting attitude with the people who have been so kind as to read your novella of a post because you don't like what they are suggesting: that you are as much responsible for the continuation of this never-gonna-happen infatuation as the straight guy is.

He identifies as Straight. He has no intention of Being With You. He has made this perfectly plain and even APOLOGIZED for letting it continue for so long.
GET. OVER. IT. He does not want to be with you. Writing pages and pages of information on how he wrongly flirted with you isn't going to change that. It doesn't make him more "wrong" and you more "right" in the situation.
Let it, and him, go. Go out into the world and find someone who actually wants to be with you.
~Beaux

[heythere999]

I actually appreciate and like the responses I get.

And secondly, I agree with the whole "intentions" bit. Not being obvious or whatnot is definitely a shady thing and it contradicts with my own values and beliefs.

And to the last poster, I know all those things already but that doesn't make anything okay or different. I've acknowledged all of those things in the first post.

Anyways, I have a solid idea of what to do now, and how to approach this.

[Rareboy]

You need to re-read the post. I believe you are the one who is telling us that your imaginary bf is 'faking it'.

Non-genuine. And I looked up his actions to see if I was just crazy, and I'm not. He displayed so many signs of dishonest behavior and anxiety,

And go back and re-read your posts.....you are trying desperately to record every tiny little move he makes in order to what exactly.

You are so busy analyzing his every interaction with you that I wonder if he isn't thinking you might be a little neurotic or psychotic.

Relax. As I noted. Get yourself a real boyfriend and just keep this guy as a casual friend.

[Beaux]

And to the last poster, I know all those things already but that doesn't make anything okay or different. I've acknowledged all of those things in the first post.

Anyways, I have a solid idea of what to do now, and how to approach this.

Then just let this whole mess, and him, Go. You don't have to "do" or "approach" anything. Just put it all out of your mind, go out into the world, and go to the trouble of meeting a guy that wants you with out all of the fantasy elements.

Good Luck
~Beaux