In love but...

[gayboyindia24]

Hi Friends, I am calling you guys friends because we all belong to one community and I feel very comfortable in this forum.

Anyway, I am a 27yr old guy working with an ad agency in Mumbai, India and I have fallen for a guy who is younger than me (21). I am crazy about this guy and I wished that if he could be gay.

One day, we all were having our lunch in the cafeteria and during that time he said that he is confused about his sexuality and wants to explore both. The moment I heard that statement, I was on cloud 9. 1st of all it is a good thing he is so open about it and secondly, he has the courage to be so open coz in India 70% of men are closet gay.

He keeps joking around with me but i have nt felt any vibe that he is attracted to me.

What I have on my mind now is to try to become his friend and know him gradually and the moment I find him trust worthy and is good in keeping secrets, I would reveal my sexuality to him and also my feelings for him.

I can't tell you how difficult it is to work with someone whom you are attracted to but you cant disclose your feelings to him. I am also scared of the fact that he would not love be back as I have always been rejected by those with whom i have had falken for. Aaah! I hate falling in love man! It is so disturbing, you cannot concentrate anywhere. Honestly, I am not that kinda person who falls for guys every now and then..not at this age but this one is really uncalled for.

Any suggesstions or comments?

[Pyromancer]

Other than the fact that a romantic entanglement with a co-worker rarely ends well, let me ask you:

You praise him for having the courage to be open about his sexuality...but you're not willing to be open with him about yours until he somehow proves that he's trustworthy?

And...why would he give out a vibe that he's attracted to you if he doesn't know that you're gay?

Maybe you need to think this through a bit...?

[Borg69]

Just keep in mind that even IF (big, huge, astronomical IF) he even agrees to have sex with you someday, it certainly doesn't mean he's romantically interested in you.

[Lexington]

I agree with the other two.

It's your turn to be honest with him. Tell him you also have a thing for guys. You wouldn't be adverse to either a romantic or sexual relationship of some sort...but the fact that you two are co-workers makes that more problematic.

Lex

[MikeW]

... Aaah! I hate falling in love man! It is so disturbing, you cannot concentrate anywhere. ...

Lusting after or even obsessing over and having a crush on a guy is not "falling in love" with them. You can not "love" someone you do not know and you obviously do not know him. I agree with what others have said above.

[Rareboy]

I think everyone else has already hit all my points. All I can do is point out that they hit all the points.

The next step is up to you.

[JohnSomebody]

Let's just say that you do eventually have sex with him...the thing is that would be no guarantee he will want a committed relationship with you???? ...the majority of guys in his position who experienced gay sex for the first time and enjoy it will more than likely want to be adventurous with other guys. Therefore, by you being more experienced...don't get caught up with a broken heart or hurt feelings.

[gayboyindia24]

Thank you guys for those valuable feedback. Just to update the story,I gave him lift today till his home and we had a healthy conversation while riding.

[gayboyindia24]

BTW guys..I am not attracted to him anymore rather I have fallen for someone else. I don't know why it happens to me.

[MikeW]

BTW guys..I am not attracted to him anymore rather I have fallen for someone else. I don't know why it happens to me.

As I said, you weren't "in love" with the first guy to begin with; and most likely you aren't "in love" with this new guy, either. Until you mature enough to know the difference between lusting, crushing and feelings of genuine love for another man, you'll continue to not understand WHY this "happens to you".