[MENTION=22778]longhardlife[/MENTION] You will find that some of your posts are not going to appear right away. Until you get to 50 posts, they are moderated. Most everyone gets frustrated with that, but it is not that difficult to get there. You can get there quickly if you participate in the Word Game threads.
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Welcome to the forum. Yes, the interface takes some getting used to (and I'm a forum hound from WAY back). Once your post count gets over 50 you'll have the same privileges as the rest of us. Just hang out, share what you feel comfortable with. Be respectful of others. Many of us have had long difficult lives one way and another, some of us are right in the middle of it, others just starting out.
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Posts: 2,698
Threads: 34
Joined: May 2014
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bump to ditch the disruption troll...
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I'll be watching out for your story.
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Alright guys, here's some of my story. As a child I had been physically abused by one stepparent then later sexually abused and raped for 4 years by my stepfather (who by the way suffered a long slow and miserable death. Karma's a bitch). I still remember my mothers first sentence when she found out "oh my God, please don't turn gay" . At that age I didn't even know what gay was. The next few years would roll by with nightmares, suicide attempts and me blaming my thoughts about guys on my past. I dated several girls in high school and fresh out of high school got married. Still trying to put everything behind me by the age of 23 I had 3 children. At the age of 23 also I was diagnosed with a disease making it impossible to have any more children. Not that I wanted more but with the realization if I had waited I would have had none. The disease took me down a long dark path of depression but I overcame the depression of it but not other things. Later,when realizing I could not figure out my life and weather these feelings came from my past or if i truly were gay I went back to college. A huge help, majoring in Psychology I learned all about myself. I was gay. I came out to my wife, my kids and my parents and sister. As most of you know it was hard and not so great for them. My wife and I hadn't had sex in years and we fought like hell since day one of our marriage. My dad walked away from me saying he couldn't accept it while my mom eventually said she wasn't losing me over it while my kids didn't have a reaction. Then again, I raised them to respect everyone and not judge no matter what. I have good kids I'm very proud of. My wife had a hard time dealing but said she didn't care. I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone I just could not live a lie anymore. Which was very true. We stayed together which I felt at the time was best for the kids. Later I realized I was wrong but there's no rule book on raising kids. You do what you think is right at the time and wait for them to come back and tell you where you screwed up. Needless to say,the marriage was fairly good but when it was bad it was really bad. It took me over 20 years and it wasn't until someone else told me I realized I was married to an emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive person. When I realized that I tried my best to get help for it,but,you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. A little over a year ago the stress from everything nearly took my life. Stress will kill you. I decided then and there and I told everyone " I will not die before I'm truly happy" It took time but since then we separated, my health has turned completely around and I've met someone really special and feel real love for the first time. Also, my fathers back in my life. My rough journeys not over. There are still issues with the kids mother and kids at times but they're grown now. They all know I tried. I tried long and hard and nearly died several times trying to please everyone else. Its time for me now.
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