Feel Bad

[JimmyEcho]

Well, I feel Horrible.
I've been flirting and kind of leading this great looking guy on for weeks. He is so nice to me and I hug and kiss him at the the gay bars we hang out at and last night it got to the point where I promised him a blow job today. He text me at 8;30 this morning and said good morning and I haven't responded yet
I FEEL ROTTEN!!! I Love him, I think he's attractive because he is. but I'm really Not Gay
However, I really like all the Gay Guys I just won't be able to get an erection, but I can still blow guys and I have in the distant past
I REALLY LET HIM DOWN TODAY AND I DON'T LIKE MYSELF FOR DOING THAT.
I'M really messed up in the head, I wish I was gay.

[Bhp91126]

You're about to ruin a good thing you have going on. If you like him and want to stay friends, don't flake out now. Nobody can force you to give a bj today or ever if you don't feel like it. Promises, schmomises

If you don't want to have sex with him, tell him so honestly!!! The bj is probably less important to him than your friendship. And if not your gut feeling was right.

Don't be a flake! Have the courage to say what you want or don't want.

[MikeW]

Well, I feel Horrible....

I agree with [MENTION=20922]Bhp91126[/MENTION] , if you don't want to give him a BJ, fine, but don't ruin the friendship by being a flake and hiding your truth from him. Just be honest. That way at least there is some hope for your friendship. Otherwise, you're just putting up roadblocks between you and creating unnecessary distance. Don't be afraid. It really isn't all that hard to be honest with people once you're being honest with yourself.

[JohnSomebody]

It sounds like you enjoy flirting and teasing gay guys with the intent of knowing that if the situation goes beyond that...you will not be able to write a check that your ass can't cash...so to speak. Unfortunately...while employed as a bartender...I have came across a couple of guys like you. The only thing is that unlike you...they did come to the conclusion of realizing that they were attracted to men and came to embraced that and seek to pursue that side of them as well. I had this guy whom I had known for year that was "straight" and he and I had become pretty good friends. Once our friendship began to grow..I told him that I was gay. He had no problem with it and my revealing this made our friendship even closer. Now...this guy was really a good looking, All-American jock type with an ass that should have been insured and he always wore pants that showed of his assets so to speak. What I noticed as time progress...he would always inquire about what kind of guys I like or ask me about my sex life. It came the day when he questioned me about why I never made a pass at him??...I responded that my not making advances towards him was showing respect and not crossing the line of disrespect. He then started telling me how big his dick was and how he knows how to use it. He even went so far as to say things to such as; how he would do me and how he imagine how I look naked and erect. One day we were meeting out for the evening...and he wore these pants that were ridiculously tight to the point that I wonder if he had on any underwear. I told him how I thought he had a nice ass and how certain pants he wear I love to see him in due to the fact that they showed off his assets. He started grinning from ear to ear from finding this out. In fact....he enjoyed that compliment so much that whenever we would meet up...he made sure that he wore certain pants and went on to let me know when he had on underwear and when he didn't.
To make a long story short...we went to a basketball game one evening and afterwards ...we went to a bar to hang out. When he gets tipsy...he gets very flirty as well. Under the table...he was grabbing my leg that eventually led to his hands rubbing my thigh. If a female came to our table to chat...he became a little annoyed as well as somewhat territorial over me and while walking to the parking lot to get our cars...we had to go up to a higher level on the elevator and while on the elevator...he grabbed me and started kissing me and grinding his crotch up against mine. We were literally going at it on the elevator and even went to a dark corner once we got to that level to continue going at it. He then broke away and told me that he wanted me to meet him the next day at his place to have sex. I started laughing because I thought he was kidding...but he insisted to me that this was something he wanted to do for awhile and now he is ready to do it if I am. However, once I got to his place the next day...he had chickened out and blamed everything on the alcohol. In fact, he even tried to put some blame on me for his actions because he was in denial and did not want to accept what he did towards me. Afterwards...the friendship changed dramatically and we did not hang out as much anymore. He was avoiding me at all cost and therefore...I thought it would be best for me to end all contact with him. Even to this day...if I happened to run into him while I'm out and about in the city...he will greet me but he has the guilt look all over his face. I just speak to him and keep it moving. ...I do not stop to pursue a conversation with him.

To conclude...I feel you need to contact your friend and have him meet you where you can talk to him and tell him the truth about yourself and your actions towards him. Let the chips fall as they may with him being the deciding factor about the status of your friendship....but in the future...don't make those kind of promises with gay men that you know you can't keep or in other words..don't want to keep...Good Luck!!!

[Rareboy]

wtf.

You owe him a blow job.

Pay up.

And if you have been flirting and leading him on and you really love him....you might just be a homo or bi-sexual. Give it a whirl.

[matty7]

I suppose we all make promises we don't keep but its this line I just cant wrap my head around "I FEEL ROTTEN!!! I Love him, I think he's attractive because he is. but I'm really Not Gay" ive never heard a straight guy say that...not even for fun - are you just leading us on too and are just a big Mo like me ? , not been rude...I just don't get that line honestly

[JimmyEcho]

John Somebody----YOU NAILED IT.
He is a bartender at the gay bar and all the other guys are really sweet also. I get hit on by women and men I wear tight T shirt when I go there and my ass gets grabbed when I go to the rest rooms, the more alcohol I drink the more flirty I get. I love the attention however it could never go past kissing and I make promises like what I did last night.
(I wonder why I do this)
I did this with another great guy back in September and now he totally ignores me and I don't blame him.
The thing is, once I get to knowing these guys I actually have Feelings for them and I end up hurting myself as well,--Regret, sorry,horrible feeling.

[JimmyEcho]

Matty7
Not at all
I'm totally serious
Gay guy really go all out when hitting on me and I kinda roll with it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If you identify as straight, then why are you going to gay bars again?

Apparently this isn't the first time you have been on this ride... Last September you rode this ride, how many times have you done this in your life? That question you can answer for yourself I don't want to know.

If you look back at your life and see a long history of this behavior, then you need to have a heart to heart chat with the man in the mirror (you) and try to figure out what it is you really want and need.

If you can't do it alone, there are many therapists out there who would be more than happy to help you find yourself - most for a nominal fee, however many insurance companies cover for that, if not then there is sliding scale.

As John pointed out, you are not the only one who plays this sort of game. And further, it ends differently with different guys depending on who and what they are really looking for.

You can rest assured that you blew it (again?) with this fella. Because if you do give him a BJ against your will it will break up this little romance, and if you do the honesty route (tell him all of this) he most likely isn't gonna want to hang around with you because, as John pointed out, this happens a lot in the scene - and it usually doesn't end well.

Decide your own fate, and run its course. Then DO NOT go back to another gay bar until you figure out the whys and wherefores of your behavior.

[MikeW]

...As John pointed out, you are not the only one who plays this sort of game. And further, it ends differently with different guys...

You know, back in the good old days, Cock Teases like this would occasionally get pulled into the back room and get their asses gang raped by the drag queens.