Just a slut or a normal way of living?

[Anonymous]

but how do you find out if the guy youre with is the one you wanna stay with if you dont stick around to find out? If you drop him the moment you get "bored".

But would I get bored if he was the one I want to stay together with? I always thought that people who have real feelings never get tired each from other and don't even think about anyone else but their lover. Is that wrong?

[JohnSomebody]

The way I look at it...you are still at an age where you may not yet be ready for a committed relationship and this is probably because you haven't ran across the right guy yet. So until you come across the right guy..do you...and be safe.

[LJay]

There are a lot of good thoughts above. Take some time with them.

I would not call you a slut, which implies a preoccupation with sex and not much else.

Talking with a counselor or a good therapist might help you to sort out the issues. If you do want to settle with a partner, you will need to work at it. It is also possible that you may find that you do not want to settle down. In that case you must learn how to cope with the long term results of that state of mind. A therapist could help.

Whatever you do, play safely. And continue to work on your self awareness. Best of luck.

[Bhp91126]

Nobody says you have to have a steady boyfriend to live a happy and fulfilled life.

However, are you able to build lasting friendships with the guys you meet, or do you drop all guys after a few weeks? If you don't have good lasting friendships established by now, I'd seek help, otherwise I agree w Johnsomebody, you haven't found the right one yet.

[Lexington]

Even 50% of people who settle down with somebody...die alone. Life is a journey, not a destination. If you're enjoying having a new boyfriend every month or even week, as long as you're keeping things aboveboard, I can't see any problem with it.

Lex

[MikeW]

But would I get bored if he was the one I want to stay together with? I always thought that people who have real feelings never get tired each from other and don't even think about anyone else but their lover. Is that wrong?

Actually, yes it is wrong. You're painting relationships with way too broad a brush. For sure we can always make "generalizations," but that's just it… a generalization is just that, not a specific instance.

We're free to create whatever kind of relationship we want, right? Provided we find someone who wants the same kind of relationship we do. Yet, we've all been programmed to think what a relationship "should" be. Monogamous, for example. Well, that does work for some people, but for others it doesn't.

So you need to be very honest with yourself about what you want and consider that as you age what you want may change (it usually does). It doesn't make any sense to me to go looking for a relationship so you don't end up "alone" later on in life. I've had two LTRs… both now deceased and I'm alone at age 67. So… having a relationship is no guarantee you won't be old and alone.

If I were you I'd be asking myself "What do I really want?" And I'd be seeking advice from a councilor, trying to determine if I have "intimacy issues," and, if so, what they are. I'd not advise even *thinking* about a capital R relationship until you have yourself fairly well sorted out.

[Beaux]

You just going through guys right now. Hopfully, you will end up finding a guy who goes through you...
~Beaux

[meridannight]

I don't necessarily sleep with all these men but I change them often. For a long time this way of living didn't bother me but lately I've been thinking that I may end up alone. But I cannot imagine myself with one man only. Should I force myself to stay with someone even though I'm not interested in him anyone?

it's not being a slut. you like sex and you like to experience different men. nothing wrong with that. you know what you want, are honest with yourself and the guys you're with, and that's decent.

you shouldn't force yourself to be something you are not. that will never work. and you're too young to worry about ending up alone. do your thing and one day when you're in your thirties (or maybe later, i don't know) you might discover your priorities have changed and you're ready for a relationship.

[East]

I know a lot of long term M/M couples....25 + years...and most of the guys in these relationships were once sluts and met when they were being slutty LOL

I LOVED being a slut....had myself a great time and tried like hell to avoid falling in love...but here I am in a happy monogamous 30 year relationship

(pssst...there is a secret there...but you gotta figure it out on your own :biggrin: )

To the OP...I was a different kind of slut. I like men...a lot...and I was never seeing any of them or looking for someone better. I had a lot of regulars but there were never any strings...any strings and I was outta there....

I hate committing though...after 30 years I still cant make it to the marriage certificate place...YIKES!

[matty7]

you are what you are - so id say don't force yourself to do anything like staying with a guy so your not alone ,,,,you would hate yourself if u did within a very short time anyway and break his heart , live your life and if the right comes along im sure you will know it