We may not last because of Faith and Religion..

[ca1050]

I have been dating this guy for over a month. We talked for a couple of months and really got to know each other before we even began dating. We both are devoted Christians and love God. This poses a problem. I have been fighting on the inside for years about being gay and a Christian. But, I never REALLY fell for someone until this guy came along. It kinda went out of my head for a while.
He messaged me and said that we shouldn't date anymore because he doesn't know if being gay is what God wants him to be. He also is worried about his salvation and worried about what the Bible says about "homosexuality." He loves me, and tells me so. He cares for me and said that this was already the best relationship he had ever been in. But he needs to figure things out. He and I will still talk and hang out some. He knows that I still really care for him, (and honestly, I found out that I may actually love him because of this issue) and want to be with him.
I have dove so deep into the Bible and read passages and articles online concerning the condemnation of the homosexual. I have been able to find pretty good arguments for all 6 verses where the Bible mentions "homosexuality." I have sent him links to this stuff to help him, because I want to help in any way I can. I have been in turmoil since he told me all of this. It made me realize how much I care for him and want to be with him. Yet, at the same time, I have been scared for my salvation all along as well. Frankly, I still kind of am because we don't know the full truth or meaning behind all of the Bible verses. I have even went to reading passages in Greek and translating word by word.
He seems to be forcing himself to become a little more distant because of all of this. He won't tell me everything that is bothering him. Our relationship went from nearly perfect, to now it may be falling apart. We still care about and love one another, regardless.

So, the QUESTION:
I am having a hard time dealing with this, and am limited to who I can ask for advice since neither of us are out. I don't know what God intends for me to be or for him to be. Are we to be with each other, or someone else, or a woman. (We are both bi.) We are both scared because we know and believe that we should do what God has planned for us, even if we love each other. I don't want to lose him, and he doesn't want to lose me. We are lost and need advice, please..

[princealbertofb]

People who really believe in God generally count on Him to sort this sort of quandrum out. So either you believe he'll help you solve the problem through prayer and devotion or you know, from the inside, that He's letting YOU figure it out. In other words, maybe you should think more about what would make YOU happy and what would make YOU miserable. If God IS a God of LOVE, then I'd say he'd prefer to see you happy and in love than miserable. What's more, you're more likely to be able to serve his purpose if you are able to love and be loved. That's my thinking.
I hope this helped.

[East]

Honestly...if you guys really feel like you are going to be "sinning" and not gaining entry into heaven...you probably should stay apart...marry a woman...and live a lie....

I know.....not what you expected to hear...

[Camfer]

When I saw the title, I thought this was going to be a post about how all of humanity may not last because of faith and religion. That would have made some sense to me and been an interesting read. And that's coming from a deeply spiritual person.

[meridannight]

you are asking for a rational answer/solution to a completely irrational question and a way of life.

i have no answer or solution for your situation. i think religion is useless bullshit. i think people who put strangers' points of view and judgment (from hundreds and thousands of years back no less) above their own knowledge and life experience shouldn't come complaining when those strangers' standards irrevocably clash with what they want out of life. does this really come as a surprise to you? anybody could have predicted this.

no religious person has solved this dilemma without modifying their understanding on what religion is and how they should follow it. your option is to either give up your religion or give up your chance at happiness with the guy you want. you should know this is what it comes down to without asking any advice from anybody.

[LJay]

OP, I think that you have answered your question.

As you say, "We are both scared because we know and believe that we should do what God has planned for us, even if we love each other." In the end I think you will rationalize that you are doing wrong because that is what you have been taught and the muddle of religion and rhetoric in which you are mired will not let you do otherwise. Your dilemma is not deciding what your background has taught you, it is whether or not you will accept that teaching.

[East]

When I saw the title, I thought this was going to be a post about how all of humanity may not last because of faith and religion. That would have made some sense to me and been an interesting read. And that's coming from a deeply spiritual person.

Ditto........

[TwisttheLeaf]

We are both scared because we know and believe that we should do what God has planned for us, even if we love each other.

I'm sorry, but has God walked up to you and said to your face "this is what I have planned for you"?

How can you possibly know -what- God has planned for you? As is very well known "God works in mysterious ways", yeah? Maybe what's -meant- for you is to love and be loved. To LEARN to love without allowing others to create shame and borders in your life.

I think you are confusing the close-minded and judgmental rhetoric that others have demanded be your path, with what God has planned for you. Because honestly? They can't tell you what God has planned for you any more than you can know it yourself. They can only tell you what THEY have planned for you. And they aren't God.

[Bhp91126]

Many, many gay Christians struggle with that question and there is not a definitive answer. I know that there are websites for gay Christians where these questions get discussed, maybe you'll find them helpful.

My church taught me that God loves us. If you follow that thought, you have nothing to be afraid of for being gay/bi/etc. it is your actions that define you, not who you love.

[ShiftyNJ]

www.believeoutloud.com - there are plenty of churches who will tell you God loves you as God made you, and wants to see you in a happy relationship.