I hate my appearence and feel unattractive...

[Jay]

Hi there.

I used to dislike my face too as people left to right criticized it. My mom, relatives, ex high school friends for example have said that I have a sunken/hollow face.
I was even suggested by a plastic surgeon in Hospital A to do enhancement on my face; by inserting cheek implants and facelift. A head nurse from Hospital B suggested me to do a facelift. The thing is I went to see to these hospitals for a different reason. I didn't ask him about my face. Same goes with the nurse.

For years, I struggled to accept my face. I hated to see my own reflection in a mirror.But deep down something keeps telling me that I actually have a nice looking face. Anyway my opinion clashes with these people and it totally messed up my mind.

It did come across to my mind to do plastic surgery as these people suggested due to pressure. But in the end, I did not because as I've said, I don't feel like there's anything wrong with my face. I was getting tired disliking my own self when I should have learned to accept myself as it is. No one is perfect and imperfection makes you special, beautiful and unique.

Anyway I went to see another plastic surgeon (for different reason) from Hospital B. I decided to take the opportunity to ask him what he thinks of my face. He told me that there's nothing wrong with my face. It's naturally structured as it is.

I was happy to hear that.

As time goes by and as I grow older, I began to receive kind words from my colleagues and strangers on my face. At the beginning, I had difficult time to compute the kind words because of the bad rep that I received from the past. But I slowly learned to accept their praises. I also took several years to learn to love and accept myself particularly my face.

I'm fine now.

I decided that people criticized me negatively because they are insecure of themselves. I don't mind constructed criticism but mindless negative criticism is a no.

I also finally figured out why my mom constantly tells me that I have a sunken face for years. My mom is a great mom but she's insecure of herself too. When I was a teenager, she always complained to my siblings on how her big sister is more beautiful and has lighter skin than hers. My mom has light skin too.

Anyway it's all in your mind. The more you think negatively about yourself, the worst you think of yourself. You will slowly begin to believe those negative thoughts are real.

You have to learn to accept and love yourself as you are. Sure, some people are blessed with extra good genes in them but surely, they have imperfection somewhere inside them. My close friend is a gorgeous looking man who can melt anyone but no one knows that he has a terrifying volcanic temper, well except me, his family and few close friends. So yeah, no one is perfect.

[Darius]

OP, you have two threads going here. This one about changing your appearance and the other about taking medication to changed your brain to become more masculine. There is a pattern concerning your inability to accept yourself that surgery or medication won't help.

BTW, how do you feel about your penis?

[WhatsInAName]

Here are some other people who didn't like their face...and thought they were unattractive and could improve on it...

How could you forget Jocelyn Wildenstein?

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=jocely...CAYQ_AUoAQ

Kill it with fire!!

[gayboyindia24]

Hi..I know that feeling of yours. Even I went through that situation though little lesser than you ..

Look.. I am 5.3 in height and that has been my real problem, I have a cute looking face but with a baby face though that has played as an advantage though. At one point and sometimes even now also, I feel I wish I had a slimmer pointed nose, sharper eye lashes, beautiful brown eyes, a little pointed chin

I used to feel once I have money I would get all these things done but with that came insecurities, fear and the fear is what if it gets worst coz back of my mind I knew that am not ugly or I have reasonable features. Though I may not fit under typical handsome man but still I look presentable.

See ..just think this way, if you know that you have a very ugly or blunt nose and nothing can be worse than this, then only go for rhinoplasty similarly for other features too.

Sometimes, I still think that I would go for limb lengthening surgery however the entire procedure, complications, and diseases and sitting at home on a wheel chair for almost a yr.would be worst.

I am not de-motivating you to go for plastic surgery but I would give a trick to avoid feeling bad about yourself which I generally do. So, whenever I see a tall handsome guy, a thought like " oh! Fuck ..I wish I was handsome and tall like him" but immediately fear comes in on my mind and that is .." Ok ..fine.. I am not handsome like him but what if I loose what I already have..like what if I meet with an accident right now and loose my leg or what if I break my face, or break my nose or go blind'". So you see, then that complex automatically goes away.

I am not averse to plastic surgery but NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER try anything on your eyes coz once eyes are lost..you lost the whole world bro. Other than that if you still feel few features have to be corrected than go for it.

One last thing..guys like ronaldo,messi, Jason Statham, Matt Damon, Mark wahlberg, salma Hayek ..all these celebs lack something but possess something. Some have sexy body, some are cute, some is bald while some has a rowdy face but we find them sexy because we are attracted to their personality and attitude.

[East]

and has it occurred to you to show some humanity?

...oh my...no...never occurred to me....

I have not much use and little patience for constant and perpetual whiners ...and I am OK with it.

[meridannight]

Here are some other people who didn't like their face...and thought they were unattractive and could improve on it...

Mickey Rourke had plastic surgery because of his boxing injuries, not because he was unhappy with the way he looked. he has readily acknowledged it himself that the results were bad.

[East]

Mickey Rourke had plastic surgery because of his boxing injuries, not because he was unhappy with the way he looked. he has readily acknowledged it himself that the results were bad.

Is that who that is? I didn't even know really....who any of them are. I just googled bad plastic surgery pics....

[meridannight]

there is still an awful lot to be done in terms of the gay "community" accepting gay people who don't quite "fit in". Basically if you're a Tom Daley, welcome to the club. If you're a Gareth Thomas (non-Brits, please google if you don't know who I mean), good luck but don't come near me.

i don't care for Tom Daley. i'll take Billy Bob Thronton over him any time (if only he was swinging for men).

[meridannight]

Is that who that is? I didn't even know really....who any of them are. I just googled bad plastic surgery pics....

that is Mickey Rourke. he's played in The Wrestler, Iron Man 2, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Thursday, Buffalo '66, and many other films. one of my all-time favorite actors.

[subdivisions]

I don't know if anyone saw, but my extremely long post on the last page was approved and is up now. It gives insight to some of my problems.

As for newer posts from you guys...

Move to Europe!!!Move to Europe!!!

Why? What would that achieve? Why would I be more desirable there? Also I could go on another rant about that but it's really off-topic, unless you wanna hear it.

Basically if you're a Tom Daley, welcome to the club. If you're a Gareth Thomas (non-Brits, please google if you don't know who I mean), good luck but don't come near me.

I never heard of either of these people before, so I Googled both. Gareth is a lot hotter than Tom. Tom doesn't do much for me. However, the pictures I saw of Gareth were what I assume to be recent. When I searched I found some older ones that showed how his teeth used to be... and yeah that is a bit off-putting if he still looked like that. But still there are gay celebrities who I do find completely unattractive, and they haven't killed themselves yet or anything so they obviously have confidence in themselves and are seemingly happy.

What do I like? And whatever it was, I gave myself permission to like it - wholeheartedly and unashamedly. I started watching more cartoons, even if other people found that "juvenile"...because I liked watching them. I began drawing...not because I was good at it (I still suck at it), but because I enjoyed doing it. And on and on and on. And I started enjoying this stuff more and more. My attutude was "I like this stuff. You don't have to but I do." I was doing more and more stuff I loved, and that made me happier. In essence, I had become my own friend. And, like you do with a good friend, I began liking to see that guy in the mirror. Not because he became more physically attractive, but because I liked the guy inside him.

Honestly, after my last break-up, I stopped doing any hobbies. I wasn't good at them anyway, which did make it painful to do them but it was still a leisure thing. But nobody else enjoying it made me not enjoy it as much. People would degrade me and say I had no talent and was useless. And me and my ex had so much in common... a lot of things remind me of him so it's hard for me to do anything. So when I get home from work, I just kind of sit here I guess. I still love music and listen to it a lot but pretty much everybody does that. I am a musician but haven't made a song since February. I'm just getting worse as time goes on.

I also finally figured out why my mom constantly tells me that I have a sunken face for years. My mom is a great mom but she's insecure of herself too. When I was a teenager, she always complained to my siblings on how her big sister is more beautiful and has lighter skin than hers. My mom has light skin too.

A bit of another story but my dad had a mother like that (my grandma). She had 7 kids (my dad's the youngest) and she was mean and berated all of them constantly. It turns out it was from the way her parents treated her. A lot of times when parents do this, it's because of how their parents treated them.

BTW, how do you feel about your penis?

A bit if a tough question. Mine is only about 5 inches. Well, that's what I get when I measure it. Apparently that's "average", but my ex said that it was the smallest he'd ever seen, and he was really slutty so he had seen a lot. He says he was shocked when he saw it even though I told him ahead of time. I sort of do have to tell people ahead of time so they don't get the wrong idea. And I was with a guy who said his was also 5 inches... but when I met him in person, his seemed a decent amount bigger than mine, especially in girth. Mine is pretty thin too. I mean I always had a feeling it was small when I was a teenager and I was hoping I was just a late bloomer and that it would grow to at least 6 and change eventually. I'm 22 and it never did. Also I think I only have one testicle so that's annoying as well.

Personally, I didn't have a problem with it though. Only after my ex and others complained about it did it start to affect me. Seeing it when I masturbate... it does bother me I suppose. But I would always be careful in public. I'd wear a really tight belt so my pants never fell down, always wear underwear that wasn't too loose around the waist. I won't wear bathing suits, I wear cargo shorts (with underwear) if I go in the water. I won't pee outdoors and only in a public bathroom if it has a lock and is an individual person bathroom.

I just want to say one more thing, and it doesn't really involve changing anything about myself. I want them to invent a pill that makes me not care about what anyone says and that makes me confident. Preferably with no bad side effects (but everything has those anyway). Anti-depressants don't do shit for many people, especially me and I've been on many different ones. But anyway, if I had those two things, I wouldn't need to change anything about myself. I know some people are naturally optimists like this, and I really wish that was me. But I'm not. I'm pretty much always a pessimist.