Porn

[Cobalt]

No, there's no images or videos here, just discussion (boring I know, sorry).

My partner and I were discussing this today and I was wondering what others thought about porn use in the confines of a relationship. He comes from the standpoint that porn use by an individual (on their own time) can lead to cheating in a relationship, I don't believe it does. Of course there's all kinds of different scenarios that can affect this. I used the following examples of when porn use is acceptable, this isn't an end-all-be-all list but just a few scenarios I thought were justifiable:

If a couple is in a long distance relationship and cannot be physically together, I think it's okay. If one partner has a higher sex drive than the other, I think it's okay. If one partner is working, visiting friends/family (for whatever reason the other partner cannot be a part of), or sick, I think it's okay.

Now I also gave him some examples of when I don't think porn use is okay:

If partner A is willing to have sex with partner B, yet partner B would rather watch porn and get off on their own, I don't think that is okay. If partner A has stated they are uncomfortable with partner's B porn use (and it has been reasonably discussed between the two partners), yet person B still views porn on their own, I don't think it's okay. If part of one partner's porn collection is images/videos of a former lover I don't think this is okay.

Again, those lists weren't made to be the definite end all lists, just a few examples I quickly thought of. I was wondering what the general consensus was for porn use while people are in a relationship. Does it open the door to cheating? Is it okay? Should it only be viewed together? Why am I getting so involved in discussing watching nude men shove their manly bits into each others crevices? What are your thoughts?

[Darius]

I would agree with your point of view. As long as watching porn and jacking off does not interfer with your sex life with him, what's the big deal? Personally, I find it more exciting to jack off with a bf then alone, but everyone is different. Even if your bf and you live together, I don't see the big deal about jacking off or watching porn. The question is, does porn lead to cheating? I imagine for some guys it might. I would be more concerned about a bf sexting and talking with other gay guys, they're real and could potentially lead to more than just phone sex.

Now that you brought this up, I want to watch porn and jack off. Should we do it together?

[Anocxu]

^^^
Eww.. [MENTION=21957]Darius[/MENTION]
[MENTION=22914]Cobalt[/MENTION]
Cheating is cheating..
Watching porn is ..well..
Watching porn.

There is no rule or compulsion that ties the two together.

Now I do understand what your hubby is saying..
Watching porn, then entertaining the Idea of intercourse can toy with someone's judgement if they are sexually charged.....and dishonest,
at the end of the day the motivator would be dishonesty.
Not porn.

[Cuddly]

I agree with your views Cobalt. I draw the line between porn and cheating at interaction, be it chat, cam, phone or physical.

[Cridders88]

I don't see the problem personally, unless you are watching porn INSTEAD of paying attention to your boyfriend, then that's an issue. If you are webcamming other guys on a sexual level then yes that is cheating. But viewing porn isn't IMO.

[East]

I think everyone on the planet should work on not worrying if their mate wanders or not...make it a non issue....and I am NOT talking about "open relationships"....

Don't ever demand anyone be faithful to you. Instead...demand honesty....

I think that is why I hate the institution of marriage...the house of lies ....and the bullshit people are forced to commit to....

Honesty is so much more valuable...and the honest man..well...they are not likely to be cheaters anyway...at least not in my experience....."cheaters" love the art of deception. I think it might be one of the things that gets them off...
turn off for me...

If my man had sex with someone else...tell me about it.....I may or may not like it but I would be cool...just don't hide it or lie to me...

Free your mind....the rest will follow....you are only as sick as your secrets...

Worrying about what your partner "might do"...or who he is looking at..what he fantasizes about...who he wants to fuck...such a complete colossal waste of time....and chances are you are projecting your own bullshit on him anyway...

Trying to control someone else that way...it will diminish who YOU are over time...and I can't imagine someone really loving themselves if they engage in that crap...and learning to love yourself might be the most important thing you ever do in life.

For me...I would be mad it he didn't share his fantasies with me..so we could both get off.

So...I think porn is healthy...but...I guess it would depend a lot on how healthy the individuals are...and how healthy the relationship is. My problem with porn is...it is a helluva lot more boring than the actual sex I have..so porn I like is very hard to find.

I am suspicious of men who aspire to some kind of purity nonsense...they are the ones I would worry about...they might end up with tedhaggarditis...a disease there is no cure for..and a nasty one at that....

[Anocxu]

...they might end up with tedhaggarditis...a disease there is no cure for..and a nasty one at that....

^^^^
Is that what happened to him?

[East]

^^^^
Is that what happened to him?

Oh my...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!. Hagrid is a cutie...and a decent man.....I adore Hagrid he would never be in the same category with scary creepy Teddy....

Ted Haggard...the right wing anti gay crusading Republican preacher from Jesus Camp.....



Now THAT is scary^^^^^^^

Poor fucker set his "purity index" so high he ended up smoking crack and taking it up the ass for hours on end...and paid for it with his parishioner's $$$$ (that is the only good part)





...and following in his footsteps...we have morally pure right wing anti gay religious Republican Josh Duggar.....setting high moral standards and preaching purity to everyone else....

Forget about his child molesting and accounts he set up to cheat on his wife..



I'm telling ya...beware of the men who impose purity on others...mark my words....

[Anocxu]

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]
I actually had my fingers crossed for that guy..
Still do..
It's just how a meth infected mind works..
"Beautiful layers of delusions "

Here's how I look at it..
He was lucky enough to have his mistakes shoved in his face while he had the opportunity to correct them.

I know so many that are not that lucky.

Havn't looked him up lately..
I hope he's doing a lot better...

[East]

[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]
I actually had my fingers crossed for that guy..
Still do..
It's just how a meth infected mind works..
"Beautiful layers of delusions "

Here's how I look at it..
He was lucky enough to have his mistakes shoved in his face while he had the opportunity to correct them.

I know so many that are not that lucky.

Havn't looked him up lately..
I hope he's doing a lot better...

I can never get to that place., My fingers would be crossed for his victims..the countless number of people living in fear that he helped perpetuate....

..and even if I forgave him that....since consenting adults do listen to his crap because they choose to.....I will never forgive him for helping gay teens think they are worthless and taking their own lives...people like him and his ilk have alot of blood on their hands....or for instilling his disease and hatred into young minds that have no defense....he is the human face of the devil in my mind....