Would something like to be positive please?

[BiPenny]

I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.

Firstly I would like to apologise. This forum seems to have become my place to rant and tantrum, largely because its the only forum I am part of where my employers and my colleagues are not members also. You guys are also very good at listening.

I'm getting really pissed off at work. I am actually looking for another job but thats 'in the pipeline' so to speak.

I have one colleague in particular who seems to have made it his mission to be the most annoying, up tight, anal, demanding person on the face of the earth. He seems to think I was put at the job purely and simply to be his skivvy. He is also the bosses golden boy. I can just about deal with this but it is really grating. Especially when his demanding means our working day is continually increasing week by week. (We were working 8 - 4 in the winter with a good couple of hours for lunch. This is the naturally quieter season and our chance to rest after the summer during which we can work 100 hour weeks. However we are now doing 7.30 - 5.30 with half an hour for lunch most days, this is a normal day, god help us when the showing starts)

The thing that has really pushed me over the edge today is my boss and the manager. I have been told that I am too fat (and not in a particularly tactful fashion) to ride a number of the horses. Fair enough, I need to know and I am doing something about it. Since the new year I have been to the gym every weekday morning before work for a workout. I have been watching what I eat (I don't deny myself food but I have been trying to cut down portion sizes and make some healthy changes etc), I have significantly cut down my drinking and I have also done evening classes at the gym some evenings or been swimming after work (granted not every day and I can't go to the gym at the weekend as the opening hours are only whilst I'm at work). I weighed myself before I began and I was 12 and a half stone. I am 5'8'' and I do manual labour working with horses every day so at least SOME of this is muscle. I am a dress size UK12/14. I am not happy with my body size (show me a woman who is) I have a muffin top and a bit of spare tyre, my thighs could be smaller but I am not huge.

This morning the electric gates to the yard froze (I live on site) so when I got there at 6.15am I couldn't get out, the boss's husband happened to be up so came to see what was wrong. I got an ear bashing from the boss later in the morning about being up so early and being a pain with the gate, I said it was cos I was going to the gym to try and lose weight like they had asked. The retort was that I should just stop eating and drinking. Then this lunchtime I had 3 slices of granary bread and 3 grilled quorn sausages for lunch and I was told 'you'll never lose weight if you eat that for lunch. Now I know its not the best lunch ever but there's no need to speak to me like that, I went to the gym twice yesterday and once this morning already.

Have to go back to work now but had to put this down cos I am so pissed off and just feel like telling them to fuck off and going to eat a load of chocolate.

[marshlander]

Sounds like you are going beyond the call of duty.

I'd be halfway through the chocolate by now

[fjp999]

Hi BP, dont know what your personal finance is but if I was able I would be out the door asap.

I am sure that you are a very serious employee and if my employer treated me as you describe, without care for my feelings, then I would think they do not consider my work important and thus... sayonara.

Best of luck to you BP and sorry to hear of this uncalled for treatment.

[yar]

BP I too would not put up with their abuse and would be out the door ASAP and upon leaving give them a piece of my mind. Wish you luck.

[Star Twister]

No way BP

I'm sorry that you have to work with these kinda people, that is well wrong what the boss said to you......

I know your passion is horses and just hope this resolves itself and is just post Christmas Blues.

[zeon]

Hi BP,
First off your bosses telling you you are fat is a violation of your rights as an employee no employer is allowed to tell their employee they are too fat.. I mean the people who host weight watchers arent exactly skinny themselves and to be honest if i was you i would consider taking action for that remark.. However the fact that the job is going shit at the moment maybe look for a different stables to work at within the area or just outside3 the area and stick two fingers at your managers and walk on out

regards

zeon

[XRIMO]

Well my thoughts have already been summed up by everyone else: tell your bosses to shove the job up there ass and walk away. If you have experience with horses, there must be someplace else that would be happy to have you as an employee.

[princealbertofb]

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time Penny, but that title sure is strange... what does it all mean?

[Shadow]

Babe the guys have already said (and I agree) that there is no need for you to have to put up with being spoken to like that ...

People weight, personal appearance, bodily odour, flatulence, hair style, body piercings, these are all very sensitive issues in the workplace, and not the type of thing that can afford to be tackled by anybody in management with the lack of respect and consideration you've been shown. Whilst I cannot comment on the legal ramifications, it is to my mind most definitely a violation of a common duty of courtesy and respect that any employer should have for their employees ...

... so yeah - I do sympathise with you 100% on the "why should I have to put up with being spoken to like that !?" thing as, to be honest ? I don't think you SHOULD have to put up with it ... and I would take it up with your manager at your earliest convenience.

That you have already taken steps to address the issue they raised in a professional capacity is demonstrated by the large number of measures you've taken, and so personally I would just chuck it all back at them (ONCE you're got yourself a suitable offer elsewhere - it never pays to burn your bridges if you've nothing to stand on) and say look :-

1) You tell me I'm overweight so I start to go to the gym before work which;
2) I cannot do EXCEPT at the time I do it because you make us start so early;
3) What I'm ABLE to eat in a 30-minute window of time should be the LEAST of your concerns and, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, they were QUORN sausages;
4) If you insist on consistently badgering me over this, I WILL escalate it.

... but that's just me :redface:.

Don't take any shit from them - you deserve better.

.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[spotysocks]

I think we are the same size Penny lol I am certainly not fat!

I see the jokeys being so smaaaaall! Tiny little guys looking little dots on the horses racing and racing... Run little dot run! Thing is that they get more money than you do to be like that ,dont they? The problem with employment is that the expectations are often high for little in return.

Like the other guys said try to get another job and hopefully your colleagues will not be a bunch of idiots. However there is a way to handle situations like this. Key is not to be caught by surprise and know to say the right thing in the right time:
' I am not going to get anorexic because you ask me to thank you very much' 'I will ask kate moss to come and work here, you d like like that wont you?' 'i am not too fat they are too thin' 'Fat? Rich coming from you , i am lighter than many....!' Assertiveness and diplomacy are good qualities to have- pass your message across and still be friends.

The best advice i can give though is this: Shake off all the negativity thrown on you , visualize people treating you the way you want them to treat you and set you mind in that mode. things will start changing. I am doing it every day and yes it works for me......

Good luck with everything baby. Best wishes!