accepting I'm different

[Ari]

i'm nervous and shaking just typing this...
i've been very shy all my life cause i'm small and not very masculine looking..
so i've always got mad when guys think i'm gay and joke about that..
i'm 19 now and realize the overwhelming feelings towards some guys.. there's no way i can control it sometimes.. that makes me realize i'm gay, now i have to deal with my dad and others... that's what brought me here.

[Cridders88]

Welcome to the forum Ari . You've taken the first step, admitting it to yourself. Self acceptance is the first and most important thing. You'll know when you are ready to tell family and others, there is no rush, do it at your own pace . It may seem so overwhelming right now, and I know this sounds cliche, but it does get easier. Stick around and feel free to ask questions, I've found the people here to be very welcoming and happy to help . Hope you begin to feel better about things soon x

[verysimple]

Welcome Ari. Congrats man! U just overcame the biggest step which is self acceptance and admitting it to yourself that you are gay. It took me 5 yrs to do it so I know the struggle. Take your time, no pressure! Come out to your family and friends when u feel completely comfortable and ready to do it. Feel free to post whatever you need on here. It's what the forum's here for

[Insertnamehere]

1) Welcome to GS

2)Take it one step at a time. For some, the sole realization about their sexuality can be a difficult process. Take the time needed to be ok with yourself.

3) Coming out does not have to be an immediat thing. First, study your environment. I would siggest you wait a bit first, until you're financially independent of your familiy (if you're not yet) before doing it.

4)

[matty7]

hi and welcome Ari , try not to overwhelm yourself with too much too soon, you've just realised your gay so try and adjust to that first....family etc can be dealt with as and when, Rome wasn't built in a day as they say - enjoy gay speak and ask as many questions of the members as you want in the forums

[himself]

Welcome Ariel. Is that your name or did I just make it up? I would hug you if I were hiding in your house right now.

[princealbertofb]

Hello, [MENTION=23122]Ari[/MENTION], and to GaySpeak. You know, you could be any age and be in the same tight spot, and in the same jittery state , just coming to a realisation about such as thing as your sexuality. It can be hard to admit it to oneself, and to bring oneself to say the words (and say them confidently): "I am GAY!". It takes a lot of courage in fact.

While I knew, inside of me, that I was probably gay, those words would have been hard for me to say while there wasn't even another man in the picture to justify them. One of the hardest things I had to do was to admit it to my mother, even though she had suspected.

Long story but I had tried telling her when I was 21 and she'd sort of waved it away with a hand and I therefore felt it was not something to be discussed.

When I finally got a boyfriend (22 years later!!!) and we'd been going steady for a good few months, I suddenly needed to tell her that this 'friend' I had wasn't just a 'friend'. I cried all the tears out of my body writing her that e-mail explaining who I was. Then we left the house for the day. I came back to find a message on the answerphone saying she 'wasn't born yesterday'. Phew! The next stage was presenting my boyfriend, which, again was awkward but she accepted him and even thanked him for making me happy.
I realised that my happiness was more important to her than her 'principles'.

Maybe your parents will need some time to adjust, and you shouldn't deprive them of that time. Think of all the time it's taken YOU to accept yourself. And, oh ... well, do give yourself a break. You'll be OK.
Ari.

[Feathers]

Welcome, Ari.

[Meebs]

Welcome to GS.

[chillythoughts]

welcome to gs and also, theres absolutely no rush in telling people. It took me a long time to start telling people but like yourself, I was called gay and tranny (which is pretty offensive so I was kind of holding back on typing it out.) At one point I was even thrown into the girls washroom while I cried. I wasnt strong emotional or physically. all Im going to say is just stay strong as things will get better eventually and keep your head held strong as well. good luck to you!