Dating a recreational drug user

[East]

[MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] ...you said what I was going to say but edited it out.,...

My thing was LSD and Opium at one time and I LOVED IT! I don't think it ever came up for me..getting dates or sex was never a problem for me...but if some guy didn't like what I did..so be it.

I would prefer he move on rather than have to explain myself.....

[Scootaloo]

This is a tough one.

I am a drug addict, 5 years sober, it is a dark place to be.

However, drug addicts are people too, and most of the time, they get there because they are cast aside. This is why so many gay guys end up going down this path.

If this is a new relationship, I would think long and hard about it, and do what your gut tells you. It's easier to let go before you get involved. Have a conversation with your mate, let them know how you feel and that this is a problem for you. Addicts are people too and deserve the same kind of honesty as everyone else.

If you are in love, I strongly suggest staying by their side. Love is dealing with the good and the bad. And your loved one needs you most when dealing with their demons.

Good luck in whatever you choose

[meridannight]

My thing was LSD and Opium at one time and I LOVED IT! I don't think it ever came up for me..getting dates or sex was never a problem for me...but if some guy didn't like what I did..so be it.

I would prefer he move on rather than have to explain myself.....

yeah, because it's usually an irrational fear on their part, which usually manifests as them suspecting you of various things associated with drug use, fearing and expecting negative outcomes in advance. a lot of things they don't like get blamed on drugs, when it's got nothing to do with drugs. it's better for both parties not to get involved.


and one more thing: cocaine isn't more important to me than my lover. i like what the drug does, i love to use it, but my partner comes first. if i absolutely had to choose, i would be able to give it up. i have also flushed bad batches of the drug down the drain when i've got them -- my health comes before the drug as well.

my partner has known about my use since the beginning. he doesn't use it, never has, and it never mattered to him that i do.

[Beaux]

i am surprised at how much blind prejudice still exists around drug use. sure, there are those who can't handle their drugs, but those cases are rather obvious to recognize. people telling you in capital letters to run and never look back. funny. have any of you actually had experience with a guy who uses cocaine/drugs?

i use cocaine recreationally. usually a few times a year, it's more of a binge use than regular use. it hasn't compromised my personal, social or professional life. i am doing just as well as i was doing before i ever used it. it hasn't ruined relationships, friendships, jobs....nothing.

get over your uninformed panic and ignorance. it's ridiculous.

cocaine is rather harmless, actually, compared to other drugs. and it is definitely a lot less harmful than alcohol. most people who use cocaine successfully control their use, without any adverse effects. but you don't hear about these people in the media, and you won't recognize them among your friends/acquaintances because there are no symptoms associated with heavy drugs.

so, to answer your question, the fact that he uses cocaine shouldn't affect your relationship. if you really like him and want to be with him it shouldn't matter anyway. if it starts affecting your relationship, you will be able to tell, and there are ways to deal with that. if this is something that makes you turn away from him, he's better off without you.

I agree. Until 6 years ago, when I started treatment for Degenerate Joint Disease and started having to wear Fentanyl patches, I used coke recreationally 1-2 times a year. I wasn't jobless, homeless or living in a ditch, and I had been using that way since 1996. Hell, if anything it actually helped my business, as it is a hell of a networking tool.

~Beaux

[LJay]

The use of drugs and being addicted to drugs are two different things. I often see people equating the two.Anything that promotes tension in a relationship, whether it is drug use, the wearing of white socks, or overuse of video games, is a warning sign. You have to take into consideration your tolerance and your ability to communicate over such matters. In the long run, you simply have to define your limits and relax over the whole thing.

[matty7]

would he give up drugs to keep your relationship going ? if the answer is no then if you want to date him you have to take on his recreational drug use too , if you cant except it then maybe parting ways or just staying friends is the only way forward..... if you do ask him to stop taking drugs then it would probably mean him stopping seeing his friends that he parties with too, that can cause stress in a relationship also as he is giving up something and people he has been involved with a lot of his life - unless he wants to quit then there is little you can do really

[RevChasBM]

Hello... I know for myself that drug use is a deal breaker, at any level. What begins today as occasional can become tomorrow a massive, overwhelming addiction. The best way to aboid drug abuse is to avoid use at any level. At least, this is my thinking. I find it hard to imagine that in this age of internet dating you cannot somehow find someone to date who is not a drug user. Sounds to me like you are fishing in the local swamps and then wondering why all you can catch are scrubby fish. If all you date are guys you meet in bars, then you are much more likely to find guys who may be inclined to use illegal substances. Substance abuse can become a massive mess. People with serious addiction issues can begin to steal to support their habits, lie to cover up their activities, and even use their bodies to secure another high. Your present boyfriend may not be at all near this place in his life today, but he may wind up there tomorrow. Personally, I do not want anyone in my life who is so careless about their own well-being as to use drugs. I have dated some who told me they had once had a "habit" and quit, only to have them return to using and start lying, cheating, stealing, etc. It can be a "slippery slope" as they say. Do be careful. And remember, you are talking about the ultimate direction of your life. Today's choices make for tomorrow's realities. God bless!

[Tombo]

Drugs always win in the end, break it off and find someone who doesn't take them

[InbetweenDreams]

I used to be a big pothead. Used to smoke it everyday and at any chance I could. I did so for about 9-10 years, not everyday for 9-10 years but there were pretty good stretches that I did. But it got to the point where I would leave on my lunch break (at my previous job) and go smoke. Then it started messing with my emotions, social life and so on. I realize this might not be everyone's experience with pot, everyone is different. For me it ended up causing more anxiety issues and might have played a part in causing panic attacks.

Thankfully for me I decided to quit and with a few exceptions stayed quit. I used to smoke cigarettes, did that for about 14 years...been almost 18 months since I quit doing that.

I don't have a problem with pot or people smoking pot but there does seem to be a trend. I find, at least in my experience, people who are daily pot users lack drive and simply don't use their brains. You get satisfied with the status quo, you end up lacking drive and are totally cool with it.

That being said I don't think I could be in a serious relationship with someone who is a pot smoker now, not only because I would be afraid that I would slip up and start smoking again but because I know where it leads to.

As for other drugs, it is a firm no. I don't care how hot they might be and I've never seen a "tweaker" who possesses all the qualities, of half the qualities I look for in a guy.

[Fuzzy]

Pot is one thing, there are arguements for it as well as against but of the demons that be its a lesser evil.
Drugs like cocain, meth etc... , DO NOT MESS WITH ANYONE THAT TOUCHES THOSE TYPE.