how have we become like this?

[Anocxu]

Anocxu[/MENTION] (yeah, we've been blissfully ignoring one another for a while, but now i am bringing you into this), .

Yeah..
We are pretty much oil and water..

I guess if our "Relationship"
Was of any importance to either of us .. we probably would have done something about it a while ago..

Funny story ..
I plan on being in Italy sometime in the next year (if work permits )

I sat thinking to myself..
The trip would be so much more fun if I knew someone in Italy..
Then the thought popped into my head.. meridannight! !..
Then I really started thinking..
Two of us face to face?
What would that be like?

Anyway..

The two most influential men in my love life were red blooded Italians.
I'm very familiar with "Italian Passion" how it can be beautiful. . And I've also experienced the negative side of it.

Now ..
I'm not in agreement with most of your opening post in this thread..
What I do know now however. .
Sometimes...Your personality does not translate very well online..
If it is important to you to have better experiences here..
You have to make the changes.. you must let some things go .. especially if you don't understand them completely .

The beauty of this site is..
We are all different people, from different places with different backgrounds. .
But..
What brought us all together is how we love..
I think that in itself should be revered.

An issue with you is..
You have yet to decide IF..and HOW important this site is to you..considering you basically labeled everything here to be imaginary..

Here is something you don't seem to understand. .
Human sexuality is way more complex than you could ever imagine..
Example. .
There is no such thing as "Traditional Gay"
You don't seem to understand it..
You keep saying..
"As gay men we are supposed to....."
Why is it so hard for you to understand. . There are tons of really good people out there that do things that some of us would consider strange?

Meridannight. .
Here is a list of things about YOU that half the world thinks is down right sick and disgusting. .

~>You are a Man that loves Men.

~>You put penises in your mouth.

~>You let other men put their penises in your anus.
(I know Italians are pretty thick so.. we know you get your ass pounded from time to time lol)

~>You are a man in a romantic and sexual relationship with another man.
^^^^
That list in itself should make it almost impossible for you to judge another for something like cross dressing. .


Just to inject these pieces of information. .

Did you know..
That the majority of cross dressing men are heterosexual?

Did you know that within that group of heterosexual cross dressing men..
More than half think Homosexuality is disgusting?

Did you know that there is a large percentage of cross dressing men that think drag queens are repulsive?

^^^^
Look at that cycle of contradictions. .
Which brings me back to you..

~>The more we judge..
The more we contradict ourselves.


Why would you delete your account?
Gayspeak is a brilliant learning tool for all of us..

Just stay away from drag/ cross dressing threads and you'll be fine..

Keep an open mind ..

[valkyrie4488]

With respect I'm going to be perfectly clear here. I've seen hell where I'm at sense I was fourteen when I was encourage to drink, but I soon discovered alcohol could act like medicine to numb it though that is a story for another time, and that's something I carry on my shoulders which makes me worry that it might scare anyone I meet away, but I stand up for people I look at as friends like Scootaloo or in need. As Emiliano said we have heard all that before from society, and I along with others spoke up. It's not about your opinion's or censoring you, it's about the way they sounded expressed. Though I don't want to be the reason why someone leaves, and I have been listed as one. I'm done with the debate though, as it appears this just keeps going downhill, and no matter what I might say or how I try to explain it I know it will either get twisted or taken out of context. I've known people like that before.

[TigerLover]

There are few things i hate more than someone not telling me something important because they're trying not to hurt my feelings. It's seriously disrespectful and how am i ever supposed to improve if i'm not getting any feedback on where i'm going wrong, I need data dammit!

Plus unlike some other users i'm well aware that you weren't being derisive in any way. You we're simply sharing your perspective on the topic. Which despite running contrary to the perspectives of most of the forum (including my own) is no less valid than anyone else's and you were fully entitled to share it.

In that same vein of truth sharing i'm about to criticize you. That thread had the same tone as a coming out thread, it was a public admission of something society widely regards as shameful. We weren't really discussing the practice of transvestism so much as we we're discussing this one user's preferences. And confirming for them that they weren't some weirdo freak that should be locked in a bell tower. You know acceptance, it's right there on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

In short someone was opening up and making themselves emotionally vulnerable and you responded with disgust. This timing made it seem like a mean spirited personal attack designed to inflict emotion pain, though it was not one. Really the smart thing to do would have been to post a new thread on transvestism and state your opinions there. It's fine to criticize someones personality but perhaps not a good idea to do so at their funeral, timing is important.

Therefore you and @virgo should just kiss and make up because no one had any ill intent here and it's all just one big clumsy miscommunication.......

[IanSaysHi]

I admit, I think one of the first threads I made had a response from you that made me think 'why's he so pedantic?'. To me I've noticed you do stand out as having a different tone/take on things but this shouldn't mean you leave. Variety is the spice of life and if everyone agreed about everything, threads would become pretty boring.
There is one person here who I've found either just blatantly rude or frustrating but I just bite my tongue/fingers and carry on. We can't all always agree on everything, but as long as we're not insulting each other then I think we just get on with it. You've still got 6 and a half days to change your mind

[East]

[MENTION=22948]TigerLover[/MENTION] ....I don't even know the thread in question...maybe I missed it....but that is a great analysis. I also know meridian is just plain spoken and I appreciate that quality about him.

The guy who saved my life...literally saved my life...had a personality very similar to meridian and he told me what I didn't want to hear..but desperately needed to hear. I am forever grateful to him. I would have been dead decades ago if not for him....

Everyone thought he was abrasive but really...he wasn't because his intentions were never murky or undermining..he was just completely honest. If the truth sucks...do we shoot the messenger? I wish there were more people like him. Of all my friends who died..his death and the loss I felt....the one who affected me the most..to this day. I know astrology is a taboo subject here but he was a Libra too LOL...and with most of my Libra friends..they say what they think. I think it is a good thing...

I don't think I want to read the thread now but something [MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION] said above made me grin....

True...most cross dressers are straight and do NOT like gay men at all.....

...and femininity does not = gay....

[Anocxu]

PUHLEEZE!

https://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=37789

Take a look at that thread!!

we have been down this same road before with meridannight. .

Val defended Scoot like I defended Emiliano. .

There is enough room here for everyone to come into their own as long as we respect and protect each other. .

If he cared enough not to offend anyone he would have taken the time out to clarify that it was not a personal attack...

General thought. .
What are the odds that we can criticize what someone likes to do negatively without hurting them?

This is why we spend the time to clarify. .
What if he had said..
"Scootaloo " .."Nothing against you but I think cross dressing is disgusting"

It's not sugar coating. .it's respect..
Spend the time to type a few more words or you could end up typing two hundred sentences just to clarify yourself..

This is the second time this has happened. .
He knows the possible reactions ..

[IanSaysHi]

Oh [MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION]

You had me at "PUHLEEZE!"

[SilverBullet]

If you dont wanna read what someone has to say add them to ignore list
there has only been two people deserving of mine but it works and makes me happy USE IT!!

but dont leave, leaving because someone rubbed you wrong is a quitter! I like everyone here mostly,,, if you leave I will have one less intelligent mind to converse with... so dont stay for yourself stay for me! And Anocxu may not know it but he will probably miss you too, imagine batman with ought joker... boring world eh?

so sit, breath, and maybe grab a coffee, breath more, kill some guy in a video game then back on the horse!



[MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION]
dont you even DREAM about leaving imagine Naruto with ought pervy sage! not hard to imagine as he dies but the show got infinitly worse...

[Beaux]

Perhaps it is the analytical side of me taking over, but I am making a conscious effort to leave aside "Why" posters are angry, and concentrate on the question of "Why a Forum Member is Leaving" which was the point of this thread.

Like East, I am largely unaware of what transpired on this other thread. I believe I remember it, but stopped reading it when I became disgusted by it. So I have a good idea of what went down, but don't want to see the car wreck with my own eyes.

Wether or not you agree with Mediterranean or if you are violently repulsed by him, he has the right to his opinion. Free Speach is the key to personal autonomy. I think some of us forget that sometimes.

By the same token, Mediterranean has to keep in mind that just because he can say something, doesn't mean he doesn't have to hear the reactions to his ideas.

So...IMO...Mediterranean shouldn't leave GaySpeak for having unpopular views or attitudes, nor should he be Shamed for having unpopular views or attitudes. If you don't get along with someone, fall back on Manners.

~Beaux

[CellarDweller]

Wether or not you agree with Mediterranean or if you are violently repulsed by him, he has the right to his opinion. Free Speach is the key to personal autonomy. I think some of us forget that sometimes.

By the same token, Mediterranean has to keep in mind that just because he can say something, doesn't mean he doesn't have to hear the reactions to his ideas.

Thank you Beaux, I think people forget this.

I'm always hearing people say "I have freedom of speech". Technically, freedom of speech means you can talk negatively about our government, and not be jailed for it.

It DOES NOT mean you can shoot your fool mouth off and say whatever, and expect no consequences. You can say offensive things if you want, but understand that those that disagree with you will then express their opinions, and want you to be held accountable for your actions/words.