how have we become like this?

[meridannight]

Meridannight. .
Here is a list of things about YOU that half the world thinks is down right sick and disgusting. .

~>You are a Man that loves Men.

~>You put penises in your mouth.

~>You let other men put their penises in your anus.
(I know Italians are pretty thick so.. we know you get your ass pounded from time to time lol)

~>You are a man in a romantic and sexual relationship with another man.
^^^^
That list in itself should make it almost impossible for you to judge another for something like cross dressing. .

OK. and say i was on a forum where the majority of the users were heterosexual and i made a thread about liking to suck cock. and when some of the members replied to me they thought sucking cock is disgusting. even if they elaborated with even more negative expressions --- what would be my reaction? to tell them, 'OK, that's your opinion and experience'. i would be fine with it. i don't care if other people find something i do disgusting, because i know what i like and don't like and that is all that matters to me at all. i would not go telling those members on such a hypothetical thread that they should not post and keep their negative viewpoint to themselves lest their words be hurtful to someone. words are not hurtful by themselves at all.

this is not an analogy at all. i don't see the opposite point of view you're trying to transpire at all. i tried to imagine some other activity, something i do that some other may find disgusting and distasteful, and if i'd feel bad about being told so then....there's nothing that would draw such a reaction from me. i just don't get offended by mere words and it's inexplicable to me how it's even possible.

my best friend thinks gay sex is disgusting. we get along notoriously well. i sometimes send him gay porn gifs and he sends heterosexual porn back to me and we both curse and laugh it off. people have strong likes and dislikes, things that disgust them, and this is natural and shouldn't be anything for other people to get offended by. it's like getting offended when i say fried onions are fucking disgusting (which they are) when you happen to like eating them.


i don't understand this trend or what's behind it no matter which way i look at it.

If he cared enough not to offend anyone he would have taken the time out to clarify that it was not a personal attack...

i clarified it multiple times!! but it was completely ignored and instead i got it jammed down my throat again and again that i was being hurtful even after my attempts to make them see they misunderstood me. did you even read it at all?

[meridannight]

So...IMO...Mediterranean shouldn't leave GaySpeak for having unpopular views or attitudes, nor should he be Shamed for having unpopular views or attitudes. If you don't get along with someone, fall back on Manners.

It DOES NOT mean you can shoot your fool mouth off and say whatever, and expect no consequences. You can say offensive things if you want, but understand that those that disagree with you will then express their opinions, and want you to be held accountable for your actions/words.

you are both right. and i don't have a problem with being unpopular and expressing a viewpoint that the majority might disagree with. that is not my problem here.

what gets to me is when i am told what my intentions behind my words are as if they knew it better than i knew my intentions myself. it gets to me when people misread content into what i said that was never there. it happens, but when i then go to clarify i'm not even believed! what the fuck is the point with it all then? you tell me that.

i will tell you: i said x because of ZZZ.
and all i get is hammered back: you said X because CHK and L.

i don't see any point in posting and/or communicating when -- when i actually make a genuine effort to explain myself i am not believed. yes, that fucking stings. when i'm being authentic and i don't even get believed.

[Anocxu]

OK. and say i was on a forum where the majority of the users were heterosexual and i made a thread about liking to suck cock. and when some of the members replied to me they thought sucking cock is disgusting. even if they elaborated with even more negative expressions --- what would be my reaction? to tell them, 'OK, that's your opinion and experience'. i would be fine with it. i don't care if other people find something i do disgusting, because i know what i like and don't like and that is all that matters to me at all. i would not go telling those members on such a hypothetical thread that they should not post and keep their negative viewpoint to themselves lest their words be hurtful to someone. words are not hurtful by themselves at all.

this is not an analogy at all. i don't see the opposite point of view you're trying to transpire at all. i tried to imagine some other activity, something i do that some other may find disgusting and distasteful, and if i'd feel bad about being told so then....there's nothing that would draw such a reaction from me. i just don't get offended by mere words and it's inexplicable to me how it's even possible.

my best friend thinks gay sex is disgusting. we get along notoriously well. i sometimes send him gay porn gifs and he sends heterosexual porn back to me and we both curse and laugh it off. people have strong likes and dislikes, things that disgust them, and this is natural and shouldn't be anything for other people to get offended by. it's like getting offended when i say fried onions are fucking disgusting (which they are) when you happen to like eating them.


i don't understand this trend or what's behind it no matter which way i look at it.

Very well said..
Excellent points. .
But here you actually put yourself in a bind..

You are saying here that you have first hand experience what it is like to be judged by others..You know that there are things that You Do things that others will not understand ..

This is the same principle that applies to [MENTION=23117]Scootaloo[/MENTION]. .

There is one difference though..
You are not friends with Scoot..
At the end of the day [MENTION=23117]Scootaloo[/MENTION] is not able to say..
"meridannight is my friend ..
He loves me but he hates cross dressing "

Your friends know who you are..they are friends with you because they have experiences with you.. most good and maybe a few rough spots..they love you..

With that said .. if you disagree. .
And If you criticize. . Simply make a point that hatred is not a motivator..

Just a little more warmth..?


Now..
Why don't we just put our differences aside..
[MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION] is the member that is liberal and loves everybody and coddles all these young members ..
[MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] is the member that constantly challenges our ways of thinking, Straight forward, no nonsense .. just real world thinking..

That's who we are..
We probably will never change ..
But it doesn't mean we can't exist on the same platform..

Now..
Will you please stay?
And can we ALL end this ..
Never bring it up again ..
and start fresh?
Please?

[valkyrie4488]

Oh [MENTION=21156]Anocxu[/MENTION]

You had me at "PUHLEEZE!"

lol He had me at val. Love the cool nickname.

I agree as well, fresh start. I was standing up for a friend, but never thought you would take it so personally. Will you stay please?

[meridannight]

You are saying here that you have first hand experience what it is like to be judged by others..You know that there are things that You Do things that others will not understand ..

actually, that is not what i said at all. i have never felt that i have been judged.....maybe i have been in reality, or behind my back, but i have never felt it.

And can we ALL end this ..
Never bring it up again ..
and start fresh?

it doesn't hurt to air our differences. this isn't a bad thing. if something is bothering someone they should speak up about it. i think this has been an honest exchange so far which is what i wanted.

and please don't ask me to stay. it isn't about that. i am not leaving for one bad thread/exchange. it's deeper than that. i know i am incompatible with internet communication, i realize this more and more i do it. of course i can exist with people on the same forum, but i also fundamentally misunderstand others, and others fundamentally misunderstand me. and i don't feel that i am expressing myself authentically. just leave it be.

i made this thread in part to point out to people that maybe you should stop and think about it next time before you start claiming hurt at mere words. (at the very least ask the person who said it to explain themselves, not to assume the worst interpretation by default). disgusting, distasteful, gross, ...., these are all legitimate qualities every person is entitled to feel about whatever it is that is disagreeable to them. they are on the stronger end of things but some people have very strong likes and dislikes. it doesn't automatically mean it's an attack or an insult directed at the person doing it. and when someone tells you they didn't mean anything bad, then maybe next time believe what the person is saying. instead of trying to prove your viewpoint on what is and what is not hurtful. it's all subjective anyway.

it goes both ways. think about it next time you're in a situation like this.

that's all i wanted to say.

[Scootaloo]

wow, I don't have time to read all of this, but for the record, I was never offended by [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION]

I'm flattered people tried to "stick up for me" but I never took it as a personal attack, cause I don't think it was meant to be one.

[Anocxu]

I'm flattered people tried to "stick up for me" but I never took it as a personal attack, cause I don't think it was meant to be one.

What do you mean you weren't offended?
What the hell am I reading here?
What kind of man wears sexy , Silky lingerie and isn't overly sensitive?

WTF?

Now you listen up Scoot..!!
You will be offended this instant and you will like it!!!

[Scootaloo]

What do you mean you weren't offended?
What the hell am I reading here?
What kind of man wears sexy , Silky lingerie and isn't overly sensitive?

WTF?

Now you listen up Scoot..!!
You will be offended this instant and you will like it!!!

yes master, i've been bad master. (I also love a dom to take charge )

[Anocxu]

yes master, i've been bad master. (I also love a dom to take charge )

No really Scoot..
If you weren't offended it means I have to admit I was being over protective and then i'd..
I'd ..
I'd..
..
Have to apologize to [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] ..

Scoot..
I'm desperate here. ...





Not even the least bit offended?

[Scootaloo]

sorry,not offended.

But I love the night in shinning armor,

your still my hero