My Story

[MikeW]

I think the question is how do you keep yourself from falling into that trap...

I don't know that I would admit to being desperate but I can't deny that I have been putting effort into finding someone. I mean I know that most of the guy I meet or have met are either immature, just want sex or something else. Very rare to come across someone genuine.

Putting effort into finding someone isn't the same thing as being desperate.

There's a lot to consider here. More than I have time to get into ATM (have to go to work). For one thing, we're all going to make mistakes. There's just no way around it. It's like learning to walk. You fall down, go boom. The question is, do you learn from that failure? You're at a place where you see it is "rare to come across someone genuine". Well, that's a truth. It is a fact. "Genuine" IS rare.

Which makes it all the more important when one does come across someone genuine. It also begs the question, how do you *know* someone is genuine? And the answer to that is, you don't. Or, rather, you have your impressions of someone... whatever they may be... and they may or may not be accurate. Only time and interaction can make it more clear. So the 'getting to know you' phase is very important.

But we can take it even deeper. Because I'd wager to say that NO man's intentions are 100% pure... not mine, not yours, not anyone else. ALL OF US (to some extent or other) ARE GENUINE FAKES. <<< I fully believe this to be true.

Like I say, there's a lot to go into here. I haven't the time to write an essay on the subject but I easily could.

[LJay]

Yep, it is very rare to come across someone who is genuine but it does happen. You are on the right track Axle, just keep on working on what you know needs work.

In the meantime, try not to be too shy about admitting to yourself that you are more than a bit of a catch. You use your head. You have the ability to see what is going on with yourself. Keep up the good work and you will do just fine.

[InbetweenDreams]

Well one of the things I know but not entirely have learned and applied is when you have the butterfly infestation it is so easy to thank that person is just next to Godliness...not saying they aren't but they usually aren't and often find out in the worst of ways... I think when things go wrong when one becomes too attached too soon it becomes negative feedback for becoming desperate or that you feel inferior.

I think the real reason for the butterflies is well to start with you already have a positive impression of that person. I think it is to help make each other to sort of grow on one another. It feels like I got the only one out there and there will never be another one, which we all know that isn't true. There are a lot of good guys out there but this awesome guy will hopefully like me back on the same level at some point in the near future.

The other thing I think about is whether over thinking, trying to be too rational is going to turn this into a science project.

I am very happy about this guy and as much as it drives me crazy I enjoy the butterflies, but to get from the butterflies to a true love that is lasting....quite a challenge.

[Camfer]

Oh, I dunno. When I was dating I found that a lot of people were genuinely boring!

[InbetweenDreams]

Well there are those people too, ugh... I have had some awful dates... That's when you're like "check please!"

[vuzuz]

yeah boring boring boring thats y we are still single ! blame the borring !

[InbetweenDreams]

I guess the question is...are they boring because they're shy or just dull as a person... I do try to go on 2 dates, unless it just was awful...and usually when it isn't good...it's really bad lol

Oh what pissed me off about 4 months ago, I'm on a date with a guy I've been talking to off and on, we're at a Mexican resturaunt and we're sitting there... (Tip: Do not ever take me to Mexican...the food is boring, the enviroment is noisy -- at least this place was... I can do better for cheaper). He's sitting there on his phone, making calls, texting...I'm like are you fucking kidding me? Checking your phone ok, but to sit there for the duration, then leave the table to go...take a shit I don't know, he disappeared for like 10 minutes... I'm thinking, did he just leave? That ranks about #2 on the worst date I have had... The worst one was when I drove 4 HOURS to Tennessee to date someone and it was a train wreck from the start... Classic me, trying not to judge or be...OBJECTIVE of someone... What really resonated about that date was (mind you I drove for 4 hours through the Smokey Mountains) was "How are we doing this check?" The guy ended up splitting the check...ended up being a really gross looking guy...oh that bastard.

[Insertnamehere]

Well I must have been doing something on december 2nd cause I don't recall seeing this :eek:

In any case, thanks for sharing your story. Quite a tricky one it seems.

Mine is way simpler. Started liking boys when I was 12 or something. Knew it wasn't perceived as a good thing and I have kept t hidden from everyone I know, barring one guy, ever since.

Being young and desperate for someone to be in love with you is quite dangerous..

Oh, yes. There is quite the destructive potential there. I should know.

[InbetweenDreams]

I think at that age I may have started to like boys, but it was kind of weird for me...like I didn't know anything about anything...I didn't even know how to masturbate at the time lol... Then it clicked lol

[Insertnamehere]

I think at that age I may have started to like boys, but it was kind of weird for me...like I didn't know anything about anything...I didn't even know how to masturbate at the time lol... Then it clicked lol

I'm not even sure how I knew about it, but I knew. And I knew it was wrong.

I have a hard time remembering how the hell did I know all that, where did I get such info, to be honest. Probably TV.