letting go

[trywait]

I was tempted to make this anonymously but eh...

breakups are never easy. sometimes it happens amicably. oftentimes, it's more one-sided. what was once sweet memories can leave a rather bitter after-taste.

is it better to be the dumper or the dumpee? how long does it take to move on? and what have you done to move on?

naturally, there's those emotions of anger, grief, and eventually acceptance. but for now, time is needed! and mike's post about "balance." like when did it go from being "balanced" to being "unbalanced." sigh

[InbetweenDreams]

I don't think either is better, especially if you really love them. I've been on both sides, well neither is easier, others will agree....

It can take some time to get over them... The last time I had to break up, well I feel bad but I was quite angry at myself for allowing myself to be in a relationship like that... I allowed myself to be used and I was in sort of a one-sided relationship.

I think balance is being able to know how much you're putting in and what you're getting out... Seems that most people including myself can't tell the difference until it goes rotten.

I used to not be a person that really gave a lot, but I really enjoy giving, I like seeing my partner happy, even if I'm giving more than I get back.

[dimondd]

Break ups are never easy but if it happens, it tends to be correct.

I think taking time to get over someone depends on the love you feel, regardless of whether its received back. Will all my past partners it has taking no time at all to get back in the sack!! Maybe because there was no action in the sack.

Being dumped or being the dumpee??? There is not better option, its all down to circumstance.

Its hard to judge every ones relationship but its has to be balanced. Equal partnerships are healthy ones. Depends on traits. I hate selfish people because i'm not. I have a set of skill and so does my partner. I tend to cook our meals as I was a chef so its nothing. He organize my life because i'm useless at IT. It swings really but we are constant at that. I think one of the best things is just not to let money get in the way. Route to all evil!

[Cridders88]

Big hugs to you Marc! As I said to you last night, there is no set time it will take, each breakup is different, I guess what is really hurting is that your guy has kind of left you hanging, hasn't been entirely up front with you. I hate that. You said it yourself, time is needed. [MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION]'s posts about balance makes so much sense, but as [MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION] says, you often realise too late. Of course, realising this now, doesn't make it any easier, but we are all here for you buddy

Love from your "proper speaking" friend from across the pond

[MikeW]

I was tempted to make this anonymously but eh...

breakups are never easy. sometimes it happens amicably. oftentimes, it's more one-sided. what was once sweet memories can leave a rather bitter after-taste.

is it better to be the dumper or the dumpee? how long does it take to move on? and what have you done to move on?

naturally, there's those emotions of anger, grief, and eventually acceptance. but for now, time is needed! and mike's post about "balance." like when did it go from being "balanced" to being "unbalanced." sigh

Sorry to hear this [MENTION=14517]trywait[/MENTION]. It's a good question. And how is it you don't know? Apparently someone lied... or was less than honest...and that's always a risk in any relationship. But without knowing more than you've said, I don't know what happened, what the warning signs were, whether there were any attempts at communication about what ever went wrong.

I don't want to say much more... If you're in pain, grieving, now isn't the time and you don't want to hear it anyway. What you need is comfort food. It hurts. I think most of us know how that feels. That sense of loss, emptiness. Hugs!!

[AlfredM]

Dumper or dumpee,both suck. People might think it's easier being the dumper, but I'll tell you that if you have conscience, the guilt alone is a burden on the chest. When I dumped my ex, I felt like I ruined his life.

I took like 8 months to finally start meeting other guys after the break up. Still, those aren't even dates, basically I was making fwb. 2nd best option after a bf after all,at least IMO. No dates at all till now, I feel like I have so much to work on myself to get a guy involved in my life.

When I was dumped by this guy that I only got to know like 2 weeks, I channeled my anger on him to move on quickly. I mean, if he could easily cut me off using stupid reason, he was basically treating me like a rubbish, and I have more self worth than to let somebody treat me like that.

I hope that helps a bit. Break up sucks. But you can look forward to some post break up ice cream. [emoji39]



Cheers