[quote=TwisttheLeaf]This may be useful to you, man. I dunno.
http://info.legalzoom.com/happens-person...20107.html
I hate to see you going through this. In your shoes, I would have walked a long time ago. I'm guessing there must be something holding you there yeah? Something in your heart... or finances... or... I dunno.
I'm glad that you're going to get a peaceful Christmas, tho.  [/QUOTE
He wasn't always like this. When he started having the temper tantrums I threatened to leave him, and he convinced me to go to a marriage counselor with him. Two counselors later (the first one refused to see us again after he threw a tantrum; the second told him he had anger issues, at which point he began screaming obscenities and was asked to leave..), and he was worse than ever, BUT that is when he was diagnoised with thyroid cancer.
The doctors all told me that the personality change was a common occurrence for people with thyroid cancer and assured me that after they removed it and he started synthetic hormones, that he would return to his normal personality....that hasn't happened though...
So, originally I stayed because he seemed to want to change. Then, I stayed because he was sick. Now, however, I am seriously getting ready to walk the fuck away...
~Beaux
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So sad. 
Difficult. Damn.. so difficult. Living with someone you once loved and now, now its like sand under the skin. Everything grates. It's sore. It's exhausting. It's something you don't want to have to deal with but you HAVE to deal with. Something that can't be over soon enough. And even once its over, there's that period of readjustment. It brings up so much stuff. And, OFC, you have your own medical issues to deal with, too.
Sigh... hugs. Keep on keeping on, I guess. What the hell else is there?
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Hey Beaux, I'm glad that at least you're gonna get some peace time during Christmas. I wish the divorce would go smoother, and for you to get that break you deserve. Hugs! 
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sorry you're going through this beaux. from an outsider looking in, it looks like the beginning of the end.
hang in there and enjoy the peace during this week!
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Beaux, sorry to hear...sounds difficult. Hope your divorce happens soon enough. Take care and enjoy your Christmas, buddy.
& best wishes
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Well...last night was another temper-tantrum....
As I mentioned earlier, I have been saying for months that our finances are seriously strained, but it didn't keep my husband from planning a 14 hour trip south to see his parents. Normally I handle the bills because my husband is awful with money, but he originally set up the utilities and so those 3 bills (gas, water, and electric) have been ones that he "paid" (I use the word "pay" sparingly, because they are direct withdraw--all he has to do is avoid spending the money that is apportioned for these bills).
In any case, I was at the grocery yesterday picking up necessities and my debit card was declined. I checked our account from my phone, and we were in the negetive. This actually happenes every few months, which is why we currently owe my parents $1,015...but I digress; it seems my husband purchased a new iPhone this week. He didn't need a new one, his old one wasn't even scratched, but he *needed* the new one...
The only option I had to avoid serious over draft fees, was to hock my jewelry, so that is what I did. I hocked all of my jewelry (even though gold is at a 5 year low), and I put enough in the account to cover all of the overages and I even put enough in for him to still make his trip to Louisiana (the alternative would be him staying here, after all..).
When he got home, I asked him why he spent over what we had in the bank....and (as usual) he LOST IT.
He accused me of stealing "his" money from him! He said that I must have stolen "his" money a little at a time over the past week and that he wanted me to "pack up my shit and get out".
It was at this point I lost my temper. I told him in no uncertain terms that the only way to "get me out" was to give me an equitable divorce...among other choice words...
Now he is laying in bed moping. He didn't go into work today, nor has he said anything. He is just laying there staring at the wall.
In the past this would have been when I would feel sorry for him and forgive him, but I can't anymore. I just can't.
~Beaux
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Oh Beaux...I wish I could fix it for you...or wiggle my nose and do a rewind ....I know the place you are in now and it is one of the worst places to be mentally and emotionally (and maybe even physically)....
Is there something about him that no matter what could pull you back in? You mentioned the feeling sorry thing.....is that a common occurence?
Whatever happens..this transition and/or place that you are in is never easy..it sucks...and I hope you get relief soon....((()))
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You spoke it. You've given him food for thought. Wishing you a peaceful resolution.
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East Wrote:Oh Beaux...I wish I could fix it for you...or wiggle my nose and do a rewind ....I know the place you are in now and it is one of the worst places to be mentally and emotionally (and maybe even physically)....
Is there something about him that no matter what could pull you back in? You mentioned the feeling sorry thing.....is that a common occurence?
Whatever happens..this transition and/or place that you are in is never easy..it sucks...and I hope you get relief soon....((()))
It is, I am ashamed to say, a common occurrence. I can see the fear on his face that, this time, he really HAS gone too far, and I feel sorry for him... Not just that he is scared that I am really leaving, but when I think about the likely hood that he is ever going to find anyone else who will give a fuck about him. He is absolutely hopeless in social situations. A genuine Idiot Sevant. He is good at one thing, computers, but that really is it. I know that if I leave him, he will end up spending the rest of his life either alone, or taken advantage of. His sites is the same; she has over 350+ birds in her home, not counting the other ~100 or somani,als of various species.
I KNOW that I NEED to do what Ipis best for me, but I can't help it: I feel sorry for him!
What? Is? WRONG WITH ME????
~Beaux
Something @Alfredsmama said, lead me to go back and read all (mostly all) of my old posts, and they are a sad testament to this sick-fucked-up relationship. It is one of the saddest peices of literature I have ever read...
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Beaux Wrote:It is, I am ashamed to say, a common occurrence. I can see the fear on his face that, this time, he really HAS gone too far, and I feel sorry for him... Not just that he is scared that I am really leaving, but when I think about the likely hood that he is ever going to find anyone else who will give a fuck about him. He is absolutely hopeless in social situations. A genuine Idiot Sevant. He is good at one thing, computers, but that really is it. I know that if I leave him, he will end up spending the rest of his life either alone, or taken advantage of. His sites is the same; she has over 350+ birds in her home, not counting the other ~100 or somani,als of various species.
I KNOW that I NEED to do what Ipis best for me, but I can't help it: I feel sorry for him!
What? Is? WRONG WITH ME????
~Beaux
Something @Alfredsmama said, lead me to go back and read all (mostly all) of my old posts, and they are a sad testament to this sick-fucked-up relationship. It is one of the saddest peices of literature I have ever read...
Ahhh...we have something else in common here...
Remember the song "Piano in the Dark"? It captured it all perfectly for me and my feeling sorry for someone...I used to HATE IT!!!! Grrrr....and I KNEW that feeling sorry for anyone is a rotten idea but it didn't matter...he could pull me back and break me down in a second...or at least I thought it was "him"...
It isn't though..it was me doing it all. At best..he knew how to manipulate me and pull my strings to get that reaction from me. It sucked...
Luckily..he went over the line permanently when he fucked my co-worker who I couldn't stand on top of the bar to a cheering crowd ....talk about crossing a line. I went from feeling sorry for the fucker to having NO EMOTION at all...my blood turned to ice in my veins....(does the happy dance)...
So..the point of my story...there is a moment when they push too far and it sounds like it is upon you...soon...so be prepared for the cold as ice moment and take advantage of it when it happens..
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