I have this fear.

[InbetweenDreams]

What if you took that sack off your head? You really feel the need to ask this question anonymously? Why??? :eek:

IDK. Or, rather, actually I do.

[MENTION=20933]LJay[/MENTION] has it totally wrong. Everyone says "be yourself," but that's such a sack of horse shit. Obviously, "being yourself" isn't getting you any action at all, right? If it were, you'd have gotten laid by now and wouldn't be asking this lame question with a sack on your head. And, yeah, there is a schedule. If you haven't gotten laid by... the hell with 30, I'd say by the time your 22... then there's obviously something majorly WRONG with you. I mean, for pity's sake, we're all horny men, we have needs, especially when we're young. SO... if you're not getting laid I have to ask, WTF not? Seriously? What are you doing? Jerking off to porn all the time?

And although it may be true that you can't "prep for a relationship" that doesn't mean you can't prep for good sex. You've probably heard the phrase "doing what comes naturally..." Well, the thing is, good sex doesn't just "come naturally". It is *learned* through *experience*. Good sex IS partly a matter of experience and partly a matter of feeling free to give and receive sexual pleasure with another guy. Preferably fucking like wild monkeys.

So, take that silly sack off, man up, stop dilly-dallying around and go get laid for pity's sake!

Funny you mention not being laid by 30.... I'm 30 this year...and well very inexperienced and all I can say is I need some... I think that would help but this area, there's not much to be had... So I'm pretty sure I need to get the hell out of dodge lol This place sucks, not a whole lot to do and if it weren't for a few things I'd be bored to tears.

[ceez]

Funny you mention not being laid by 30.... I'm 30 this year...and well very inexperienced and all I can say is I need some... I think that would help but this area, there's not much to be had... So I'm pretty sure I need to get the hell out of dodge lol This place sucks, not a whole lot to do and if it weren't for a few things I'd be bored to tears.

I'm in the same situation, it sucks. hopefully I'll be moving closer to a larger city soon.

[Camfer]

I don't think where you live has much to do with not getting laid. In my 20s I lived in a town of 6000 people. There was no internet, no cell phones, no apps. I was able to meet and date guys. The current 20 - 30 set have so many tools to meet guys, but it seems like they spend too much time on life mediated through devices, and not enough time setting the devices aside and living life in the public sphere, where you really meet people.

[InbetweenDreams]

That's true [MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION] just seems much harder to meet people, a lot of people are just flipping through your photos on your profile.. Is he hot or not? These days you have to be a professional photographer to get a good picture of yourself so someone will talk to you....and it's terrible. People are less socially experienced...including myself and partly the reason why things often go down the shitter, we can't deal with emotions...or mistakes. Maybe that's just been my experience.

[Camfer]

Well the mindset of "is he hot or not" was no less prevalent in the gay community pre-Internet. You had to deal with it. It wasn't easy, bur you dealt with it. And you're right [MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION] that some people's strategy has been to actually go out and hire a professional photographer for their online profiles!

It's the generation that never stopped playing hide and seek. Hide at home, play video games, and seek guys online. Then wonder why they are overweight, lonely, socially awkward, concerned about "virginity," and not all that happy.

Truth is, the goal of playing hide and seek is the delight of being found! You might have found the perfect hiding place, but what is the point of no one being able to find you? You thought you won the game, but really you didn't understand the game.

[InbetweenDreams]

That and it is very easy to get lost with everything being gay and trying to understand what everyone's wants and needs are... some people feel that they need to have sex with everyone...others not, some want this, expect that...

[Camfer]

Well I guess the good news the urge to get laid all the time diminishes for most guys somewhere in the 40s or 50s. So dating over 40 gets easier. Even the 30s are easier than the 20s.

I don't think it's a matter of two people wanting the same thing in order to hookup or have a relationship. It's two people wanting similar things and accommodating a bit for the other. No doubt that it can get complicated, but the skills are developed only through experience.

All those mistakes you make in your 20s are important. Just learn from them and don't make those mistakes again. When you reflect on what worked and what didn't, what was important and what wasn't, then you gain wisdom. You progress from where you are now.

It's an incredibly rich experience to put yourself out there in the real world. I have very few regrets!

[LJay]

Axle, people may be less socially experienced but you can compensate by being more socially wise. That is, you can be the one to keep an eye out for what is going on in a social encounter and then move it in the right direction.