Who is the confused one?

[Confuzzled4]

This has only gotten worse in the month since the last post with my jealousy, and sadness. And I didn't mention but he broadened his physical contact after I was with him in the pool and basically told him I wish he was gay. Why toy with me more after I said that?

[kindy64]

He may be curious, but personally, I'd stop the physical contact. It is causing you to much confusion and sadness. Why he is doing it is a mystery, and I'd hate to conjecture as to his motives.

Why torture yourself, there are plenty of gay men in this world. Get out and meet some.

I have never been in a relationship and never had any physical play of any kind,

You should really look at your motives for continuing the contact. Are you hoping you'll push things farther? I think you feel safe and comfortable with this guy, so you want things to go farther. You might be setting yourself up to be tremendously hurt and heartbroken.

[Darius]

If he knows you are gay, I bet he also knows you are attracted to him. Is he playing with you? We don't know and you don't know.

[Confuzzled4]

He may be curious, but personally, I'd stop the physical contact. It is causing you to much confusion and sadness. Why he is doing it is a mystery, and I'd hate to conjecture as to his motives.

Why torture yourself, there are plenty of gay men in this world. Get out and meet some.



You should really look at your motives for continuing the contact. Are you hoping you'll push things farther? I think you feel safe and comfortable with this guy, so you want things to go farther. You might be setting yourself up to be tremendously hurt and heartbroken.

I really am hoping, and the thing is he initiated the majority of the contact not me.

[ceez]

aww I remember those days, about the only time I got to see any action from jr. high through college I've seen straight guys do some really gay shit. I can't remember if I ever shared my stories here before but I think it might help. in my small town there was always a hand full of guys that claimed to be "comfortable with their sexuality". which one might think was just limited to butt slapping or gay jokes. I had physical contact with a friend in a pool before, and it started off as light contact but ended in an underwater blow job and this was a "straight" guy.

I've seen guys jerk each other off before, kiss, spoon, even a little anal action. I remember few times staying the night with a couple friends and when the mood died down and everyone was about to fall asleep they would go to the back room with the door shut and locked. and this was after they were on the ground on top of each other giving hickeys and dry humping. but the next day they forgot all about it and if you were to try anything first then you would be rejected and called a fag:confused: I told myself that I'm surround by phycos and just rolled with it, which is really all you can do. plus it wasn't bad to hang around it get a bj every now and then. now one of those friends is married to a woman and the other has a beautiful baby girl with his girlfriend and the friend that was knee deep in vagina and did nothing suspect came out of the closet and moved across the freakin country.

I don't even want to go that far into the college days, it just got worse and pissed me off a couple times. how the hell do you flirt with a guy across the room then when you finally approach start talking about your girlfriend:mad:

anywho, the bottom line is if he is gay/bi he will accept it/come out on his own terms. in the end I'm glad I didn't try to force anything with my friends because I got to keep my friendships with some great people.

[kindy64]

I really am hoping, and the thing is he initiated the majority of the contact not me.

Some guys believe "any port in a storm" is good enough reason to have anyone service them. So, your friend may be fine with having physical contact, and may even go so far as trading sex with you. That doesn't necessarily mean he's attracted to you or has a romantic interest in you.

Just be careful with your emotions...

[Confuzzled4]

My emotions are so messed up right now. I haven't been sleeping, and I told him I wasn't really sleeping lately. So we talked, and somehow dating came up and he mentioned me getting out there and I shrugged it off and he asked why. I didn't tell him, but said that'd be a long conversation, so he said okay we'll talk about it later when I'm not at work, he took a work break to talk to me. I can't, I've always liked him and for him to start being more physical now has been killing me. Why the change? Why after so many years, why after I said indirectly I wish you were gay?

[kindy64]

My emotions are so messed up right now. I haven't been sleeping, and I told him I wasn't really sleeping lately. So we talked, and somehow dating came up and he mentioned me getting out there and I shrugged it off and he asked why. I didn't tell him, but said that'd be a long conversation, so he said okay we'll talk about it later when I'm not at work, he took a work break to talk to me. I can't, I've always liked him and for him to start being more physical now has been killing me. Why the change? Why after so many years, why after I said indirectly I wish you were gay?

Nothing that can be answered by anyone here.

You're going to either A) get over it, stop the physical contact and put it behind you, or B) ask him about it all, which is risky, and you could lose the friendship. Either way, you aren't doing yourself any good by dwelling over it.

I would still suggest you get out and find other gay guys to hang out with. It will at least distract you from what may be an unattainable relationship.

[Camfer]

The standard advice for this situation: the best way to get over this guy is to get under another one.

Take your friend's advice and go find someone to date. At least try it.