Having trouble meeting people on scruff/grindr/online?

[Monkey]

Hey

I've been using hookup and dating apps like Grindr and Scruff for a couple months now and have had little to no success connecting with people for anything; dating, friendships, hookups, nada. And I'm not really sure why.

It could be my profile, but it seems fine to me. It's dutifully filled out with a couple witticisms sprinkled here and there. I indicate interest in everything from hookups to chat-only to friendships. I use a good, clear face pic for my profile and I'm like 80% sure I'm somewhat attractive. I mean I'm aware I'm not a 10 but a solid 6-7 at least. So why don't get I many hits? Why don't many people message me or respond to my messages?

I know the issue not a lack of users; I live in NYC. Tons of gays here. Maybe it's just my approach; I've tried a handful of different ones when first messaging someone...

-complimenting them, either on their profile or their pic.

-latching on to something memorable or unique in their profile; a joke they made or some other detail. If they identify as a geek I might ask "hey so what kind of geek are you " for example.

-leading with an absurd and completely out of place factoid so bizarre it will at least gets their attention, like "Did you know that flatworms, being asexual, reproduce through a mating ritual called 'penis fencing' where the two mates attempt to stab one another with their phallus? The loser becomes pregnant "

-Simply saying "Hey, how's it going?"

None of these approaches have really gotten me anywhere though. Maybe I'm just not direct enough? Like I should just message people "looking?" and "into?".

I wouldn't really care so much or put much energy into these apps if I was socializing more outside of them. But right now, between my age, being out of college, and my work schedule; my circumstances are really non-conducive to most avenues of socialization. Apps are really all I have time for atm.

Idk, anyone have any suggestions or input? It'd be appreciated.

[Monkey]

imma just bump this

[InbetweenDreams]

Not sure about NYC but it would seem most guys are Grindr are just for hookups...I live in a rural area so things differ somewhat, but if you're looking for something with a little more subsistence you might consider other apps...or even consider gay bars/clubs...or other social avenues. POF has been a pretty good for me in terms of finding guys who are more relationship oriented...seems to attract a different group of guys...

[jimcrackcorn]

Make sure your face picture shows you smiling, and insure the lighting is bright enough so people can easily see your face. Dark pictures don't go over well.

Let people know that you like doing activities such as - bicycling, climbing, camping, theater, etc.

I wouldn't advertise that I'm bisexual. There seems to be a presumption that bi-guys are half in the closet,, and not generally good dating material - which is hog wash in my opinion, but some people think this is true. So,,, just say your gay.

Don't be too specific about the type of person your looking for. Such as: slim, well built, hung, non-smoker, clean cut, hairless, harry, good teeth (smile)... etc. If you get overly specific, people will get the idea you are looking for Mr. Perfect instead of just a nice guy to hang-out with and have fun/sex/relationship with.... Do the same for the age-group your interested in; don't narrow it down to only 18 thru 21. Expand it to 18 thru 45.

What your trying to do is sell yourself to as many people as possible.

Hope this helps a little.

Sincerely,
Jim

[Monkey]

Make sure your face picture shows you smiling, and insure the lighting is bright enough so people can easily see your face. Dark pictures don't go over well.

Yeah my profile pic is the same as mine here on Gayspeak. Idk if that's public, but it's well lit, i'm smiling, not topless but pretty cute I think

Let people know that you like doing activities such as - bicycling, climbing, camping, theater, etc.

Yeah my profile description goes something like "Just a dutch/brazilian guy looking from friends and fun in the area. Love music, video games, sex. Have a face pic. Bottom/Vers if it comes to that".

I think that's a nice summary of my interests without writing down my whole life story.

I wouldn't advertise that I'm bisexual. There seems to be a presumption that bi-guys are half in the closet,, and not generally good dating material - which is hog wash in my opinion, but some people think this is true. So,,, just say your gay.

yeah I've noticed that. I don't really advertise I'm bisexual, only bring it up if asked.

Don't be too specific about the type of person your looking for. Such as: slim, well built, hung, non-smoker, clean cut, hairless, harry, good teeth (smile)... etc. If you get overly specific, people will get the idea you are looking for Mr. Perfect instead of just a nice guy to hang-out with and have fun/sex/relationship with.... Do the same for the age-group your interested in; don't narrow it down to only 18 thru 21. Expand it to 18 thru 45.

What your trying to do is sell yourself to as many people as possible.

I literally have no specifications on the kind of guy i'm looking for on my profile lol. That may be another problem in itself

Idk, maybe i should just start randomly messaging people ass pics.

[jimcrackcorn]

Honestly,,, I don't know why your not getting any action with those apps. Your young & good looking, so you should be getting a lot of messages.

Perhaps someone with more experience using these type of apps will chime in and help figure it out.

Good luck,
Jim

[Doofus89]

I'm on Grindr all the time. Get a lot of messages but no one ever my type. Sometimes, but I usually assume they're bots or we won't get along. I also, don't message too often because I'm wicked picky. The same on Meet Me and POF (those I have to show me woman only). I'm probably a really terrible to get advice from because I only use them to sift through pics of people when I'm bored (Usually high lol). I think it all comes down to whom you're attracted to and how much you message back. Or people in your area just suck lol

[Monkey]

Yeah Idk why not either.

Oh well.

[LJay]

Hate to seem like an old forget, which I am not really, but you could comb the hair and remember that background counts in pics. At the very least hang those towels neatly. Maybe take a picture in another location without too much clutter. I know this sounds picky but you did ask. Frankly, I have no idea why you are not getting replies.

[starlight]

The apps have always failed for me to a extent.