Worried about my friend's relationships

[Anonymous]

I need an advice about something that’s happening with my best friend. Right now he’s dating some guy. I don’t know how long they’ve been dating, I just found out recently and by the way, by an accident, not because my friend told me.

He doesn’t tell anything about this guy. The only thing he told me is his name. That’s it. He never wants to talk about his boyfriend or show his picture, if I start asking something about this, he just quickly switch topics. And I’m not the only person, our other friends also say they don’t know anything about the guy.

He’s an introvert person and I know he doesn’t like talking very much and he doesn’t like to share his life but me and him, we’ve always been honest each to other. However I think relationships is something you want to share with people that are close to you. He knows very much about my boyfriend and he has met him several times so it seems quite weird to me.

OK, from one side it makes sense, he’s never been much of a talker. From the other, it doesn’t make sense. I mean, if I asked what do they do in bed, then it would be totally OK for him not to answer. But what’s wrong with telling at least something about the guy, his age, his profession, his looks? What kind of a secret information is that?

So maybe I’m overthinking this and exaggerating but I can’t help thinking that something bad is going on there. I’m worried about my friend. Maybe the reason for his silence is that this guy is not a good person?

Or maybe this is a normal behavior? Do you also hide your relationships from your friends?

[jimcrackcorn]

As a friend,,, you should respect his privacy. It is up to him to disclose any personal information about his life.. If he wants to keep it private, then allow him to do so.

Sincerely,
Jim

[Anocxu]

He's dating an extremely popular career criminal..



Or a serial killer. .

Stay out of it.
Run!..
Move!!!

[Insertnamehere]

I need an advice about something.............However I think relationships is something you want to share with people that are close to you........

Without intending to sound harsh towards you, but what YOU think about how things should be is completely irrelevant for anyone who is not you.

Not everyone is the same and people are not forced by any law to give an account of their love life to anyone.

There could be a number of reasons why he's not sharing this with people and even is he doesn't have any reason other than not wanting to, you should respect that. You have to respect people's right to keep private what they want. Simple as that.

[Tyrion]

I'll say that if you generally share everything with each other -- as I do my best friend -- and in this case it's much different and he's being secretive, then something may be going on or may wrong (or maybe not). I do agree that you have to respect his privacy, but there's also nothing wrong with being worried if this seems out of character for your friend.

[LJay]

If you are really close friends,you might say, "Look we're pretty good friends and I understand you don't like to talk about things a lot but you seem unusually unwilling to say anything about this guy. Is something bothering you about it all?" Then you take your clue from his answer. If he clams up, you drop it. Period.

[MikeW]

My guess would be the guy he's dating isn't out. He may even be someone you already know. But in any case, you're being too nosey. Your friend will let you know what you need to know when he's ready to.