Best friend problems

[Newbris00]

2 weeks ago I slept with my bestfriend of almost 17 years.
I am/ was straight but he's been out for years. But now I'm confused and have slept with him since as we live together and there's now an intense sexual tension.
Since this happened I've barely seen my gf and don't know what to do!?
Do I experiment with another guy? Do I only enjoy it because it's him? What do I say to my partner?

[TwisttheLeaf]

You break up with your girlfriend FIRST. Because you're cheating on her and that's fucked up.

Then if you want to experiment, go for it.

If you don't want to break up with her? Then you need to stop cheating on her.

[thinkreal93]

Do you think you're into gay porn now ? Do you find yourself fantasizing about men and love it ? If not, you're probably not gay. More like heteroflexible.

Maybe if you sort yourself out, it will help you decide what to do next.


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[Newbris00]

I've spoken with the gf that we need to take a break for a bit.

I've been finding myself looking at guys differently and wanting to be with my friend sexually. I am curious too see what it would be like being the dom guy and see how it is with someone else.

[Insertnamehere]

As others have pointed out, it is only the correct thing to do to deal with your GF first. I'm not sure if this "break" thing is the proper way to go, she may take it differently than you and not assume freedom to get involved with other people. I don't know about that, but it's dangerous shady ground.

You seem to have some feelings for your friend, so I don't know why you need to experiment with other men right now instead of him. I understand you find yourself in the curious ground but as I see it, right now, it's your friend that gets your attention.

Maybe you can ask yourself whether you like your friend only because you two are close or if you are attracted to him also because he's a guy. Have you been attracted towards other guys?

Answering those questions to yourself would make a few things clear.

That aside, sure, you can go and experiment as you wish, as long as you're not cheating on someone.

[Sherbil]

First of all, don't try and gloss over the girlfriend thing. Cheating is terrible. If you respect her at all, she needs to know what you did. Going "on break" is not enough when you know you're withholding information that would likely completely torpedo your relationship. She deserves to know. I don't want to automatically assume you did cheat on her and decide not to tell her about it, but on gay forums we see a lot of people in your situation who thought they were straight and then ended up hooking up with a friend and being confused, and somehow they never quite seem to grasp how absolutely awful they're being to their girlfriends, who would be crushed if they knew.

As for your sexuality, it's time you sat down and really thought about it. Do you find gay porn arousing? Do you find yourself thinking you could have sex with other men? A lot of guys start out liking the thought of being with a guy sexually but not being able to fathom having a relationship with one. That kind of self-denial is deeply culturally ingrained in many people. These guys would know it was illogical and not want to feel that way, and still, it just took time to come around to it after becoming more comfortable with gayness in general.

[Ulsterrobert]

I am closeted but very interested in guys. I guess I lack the guts to come out. What I want to say is that there is a lot of interesting material of sexual preference you might find good for thought. If interested many articles can be found by searching SEXUAL ORIENTATION BRAIN. I can't stop reading these articles and I am amazed at the research.