Posts: 438
Threads: 27
Joined: Oct 2015
Reputation:
0
Mood: None
After ca. 25 years, I finally have contact again with my former best friend from school time. We were mutual best friends. We went separate ways and lost contact, and now we are in touch again.
However, I am too scared to say anything about myself. I know that he is gay, and this is not the problem. I just don't know what to say, now that he asked me how I'm doing. I'm OK, but he surely wants to know what I became in life. If he knew that I became nothing, he probably wouldn't ask...
And I don't want to talk about myself with him, but telling the truth usually triggers those kind of conversations. The truth is that I never had a job and don't see myself in any job in the future, cos it's too late and too tricky with me. I have too many issues. But I just want to avoid a conversation with him that would drag me down, I want to avoid it being about my joblessness, about my failure in life, I want to avoid having a depressing conversation with him. Telling him the truth however would be a declaration of failure. Telling him lies would be against my principles. Not replying to him would be rude, and I would like to get in touch with him again. if it only wasn't for that topic....
He has a successful career, as has anyone else in his family.. and I'm nothing, so go figure. I want to hide, and I want to get in touch with him.
I'm torn apart, I don't know what to do.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Career isn't everything. My husband enjoys a successful career, unfortunately, to the expense of other important aspects of life. Talk about the parts of your life that you enjoy.
~Beaux
•
So talk about your band, and how you like to travel. Your life is what it is, for whatever reasons.
Money can only buy you comfort, not happiness. So don't be so hung up on whether your career is to some certain level.
•
What was it that made you best friends in the past? Is there a way you could rekindle those feelings and those memories? I'm sure he wants to see you just because you had that connection. Maybe you can be honest with him and just get the embarrassing stuff out of the way, maybe tell him that you don't want to talk about it because it depresses you, and maybe he'll be a good shoulder to cry on? Who knows?
•
Ok, [MENTION=23142]Aquarius[/MENTION], write that reply, keep it simple, remember the love that was between you and then HIT the SEND button.. Await with expectation. It should be worth a try.
•
Posts: 734
Threads: 21
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Bi Man
Starsign:  Aries
Mood:
I'm unemployed right now and my best friend from school is well paid civil servant saving up to buy a jag. He's the same age as me and I really miss him, He's the pragmatic sensible guy i always turned to when i was facing troubles.
But it would break my heart if he looked at me with pity, his Facebook posts already make me feel like a miserable failure. I want to get a new job and improve myself before i reach out to him.
But then again, how long can i wait before he basically forgets who i am. It's already been years since we spoke. In few a few years he probably wont even recognize me on the street.
Sorry got no helpful advice for ya. Just wanted to let you know that i feel your pain brother.
•
Posts: 221
Threads: 2
Joined: Jul 2011
Reputation:
0
Mood: None
We all are in different places in life but...
You have to own it. Shit is never perfect.
For all you know he's unhappy with where he is in life.
•
Posts: 2,797
Threads: 40
Joined: May 2009
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Gay Man in an Open Gay Relationship
Starsign:  Virgo
Mood:
Huh, that sounds a lot like me.
Basically, I try to be honest, try not get stuck on the subject and try not give a toss about what negative things they may think.
It's not easy, but it's not really worth getting too worked up over. I try to keep that in mind.  mile:
Silly Sarcastic So-and-so
•
Aquarius Wrote:After ca. 25 years, I finally have contact again with my former best friend from school time. We were mutual best friends. We went separate ways and lost contact, and now we are in touch again.
However, I am too scared to say anything about myself. I know that he is gay, and this is not the problem. I just don't know what to say, now that he asked me how I'm doing. I'm OK, but he surely wants to know what I became in life. If he knew that I became nothing, he probably wouldn't ask...
And I don't want to talk about myself with him, but telling the truth usually triggers those kind of conversations. The truth is that I never had a job and don't see myself in any job in the future, cos it's too late and too tricky with me. I have too many issues. But I just want to avoid a conversation with him that would drag me down, I want to avoid it being about my joblessness, about my failure in life, I want to avoid having a depressing conversation with him. Telling him the truth however would be a declaration of failure. Telling him lies would be against my principles. Not replying to him would be rude, and I would like to get in touch with him again. if it only wasn't for that topic....
He has a successful career, as has anyone else in his family.. and I'm nothing, so go figure. I want to hide, and I want to get in touch with him.
I'm torn apart, I don't know what to do.
I can feel you. To be a nobody when you are talking to someone who is well-off, affluent, successful, has a family, makes you feel so...i don't know. the point is, if he does not accept you for who you are, then he is not a friend of yours after all. besides, how can you get in touch with someone after so long? they have changed for the better or worse and don't you think they would have made new friends by now?
I don't know what is making it so hard for you to get a job? Lack of experiences in teh work force? disability? depression? anything that you would liek to add? If you are not honest, you're not going to get much help from us.
•
princealbertofb Wrote:What was it that made you best friends in the past? Is there a way you could rekindle those feelings and those memories? I'm sure he wants to see you just because you had that connection. Maybe you can be honest with him and just get the embarrassing stuff out of the way, maybe tell him that you don't want to talk about it because it depresses you, and maybe he'll be a good shoulder to cry on? Who knows?
I agree, be honest with him. Tell him the good, bad, and the ugly. Maybe he can help you. If not, then screw him. I don't need friends like that.
•
|
I'm scared of replying my former best friend
