Is topping generally better than bottoming?

[Male]

Am i the only one having these bottoming issues? Topping is easier?

[knickerbuck]

it is a man's innate ability to be a dick .. so furthermore, imposing your dominance on another person comes naturally to a man, so u r right, everyone can top but not everyone can bottom.

[Camfer]

If your prep is endless you are doing it wrong. Some guys don't need to douche at all. If you use too much water then you will get into that endless cycle you've experienced. Do more research. If you like the idea of bottoming, then you just need to learn how to do it right for you. You can gain a lot of experience on your own with a toy and figure out what's pleasurable for you and how to do it cleanly. You could be an expert in no time!

[TwisttheLeaf]

OK. First of all? Everyone cannot top. Jesus. Trust me. Some people suck at topping. They just do. Just as some people suck at bottoming. Some people only enjoy topping and can only get off on topping. Some people only enjoy bottoming and can only get off on bottoming.

I would not say it's "easier" to be a top. I also wouldn't say pleasure is 100% guaranteed. Because honestly? It's about what you're into, not about whether the head of your dick is getting steady friction.

I don't know where you got the idea that bisexuals are often total bottoms with men. Most of my experience with bisexuals is that they're versatile (into both). It seems to me saying they're only bottoms would come from the HIGHLY MISTAKEN assumption that they can get pussy with their dick but want the best of both worlds or some shit. Totally not true.

You contradict yourself in reference to your boyfriend. You say further up in your post that there are significantly more tops than bottoms in the world. THEN say that your boyfriend says being a top means he has a much larger pool of guys to fuck. Well? Wouldn't that mean there's more bottoms out there than tops?

Ugh... ok. So instead of writing a novel of a response, I'm going to cut things a bit shorter. Suffice to say that I disagree with -most- of the facts you've outlined in your post.

The fact is? If there's no psychological pleasure in the sex, then you might as well forget about the sex and just jerk off. You get the same release, and the same result. It's the -psychological- part of things that is what makes sex good... no matter if you are top, bottom, or vers.

Your boyfriend is a top. He's disgusted by the idea of bottoming. That is a psychological reaction that is going to make that experience unpleasant for him. His "not able to top someone after being topped by them" is common with someone that feels very dominant within their top position. MOST dominant people don't bounce back from being put in a position they find submissive, especially if they view that submission in any kind of a distasteful way.

And contrary to popular belief, not all men are wired to be dominant. The ones that aren't are just harder to find sometimes because society has made it uncomfortable to be male and submissive.

SO, on to my opinion. Either find someone that fits your needs, or settle into what he -knows- are his preferences.

As for fiber? Dude, you should be eating a sufficient amount of fiber anyway. It's good for you and helps keep your insides working properly. You can look up on Google how much fiber is healthy for you. Usually, for me, a cup of bran flakes for breakfast makes my digestion much better throughout the day.

Annnnnd..... If you like bottoming until penitration, then there's a few things that could be the cause.

1) are you using enough lube?

2) your boyfriend's technique sucks

3) you're not getting worked up (turned on) enough prior to penetration

4) maybe you are just one of those that doesn't enjoy being penetrated. Not everyone does, and that doesn't mean they're tops, either. It just means they don't like the sensation of having something stuck up their ass.

[Male]

I agree. So, not only i've mistaken even in this thread. And the only fact i'm not sure in is...

"If there's no psychological pleasure in the sex, then you might as well forget about the sex and just jerk off. You get the same release, and the same result" - i like receiving blowjob independently from psychological part, the process is much more intense than when jerking, and the orgasm is more joyful too.

Is it true that most bottoms and vers don't like bottoming when trying it for the first time, but when they try a couple of times, the pleasure'll come? Or i'm in the minority who couldn't define whether i like it or not?

If someone likes the sensations when receiving a blowjob, does it mean that he'll definitely like topping physical sensations? And the opposite.

"maybe you are just one of those that doesn't enjoy being penetrated. Not everyone does, and that doesn't mean they're tops, either" - if not tops then who? Neither?

"You contradict yourself in reference to your boyfriend. You say further up in your post that there are significantly more tops than bottoms in the world. THEN say that your boyfriend says being a top means he has a much larger pool of guys to fuck. Well? Wouldn't that mean there's more bottoms out there than tops?" - i contradict because i don't agree with my guy. And when i was questioning bottoms, they had the mentality of a slave, cock pleaser and often were bi. That dorsn't mean that most bi are bottoms, but most bottoms are bi. Or not most, but a considerable amount that can visually increase the amount of bottoms. Some turned out to be vers-bottoms and they were adequate.

Is it true that sex preferences can't change eventually?

[TwisttheLeaf]

i like receiving blowjob independently from psychological part, the process is much more intense than when jerking, and the orgasm is more joyful too.

Joyful isn't a physical term. The thing is? Psychological implications in sex go beyond just emotions you may or may not feel. There's a lot of subconscious crap crammed into our heads that run the things we do, what we enjoy, and what we don't.

Is it true that most bottoms and vers don't like bottoming when trying it for the first time, but when they try a couple of times, the pleasure'll come? Or i'm in the minority who couldn't define whether i like it or not?

Absolutely true. The first (and sometimes first few) time is always a bit uncomfortable, often painful, and.... it takes some time getting used to.

If someone likes the sensations when receiving a blowjob, does it mean that he'll definitely like topping physical sensations? And the opposite.

Nope. Absolutely not. Blow jobs and anal are entirely different. Some like one, some like the other, some like both.

if not tops then who? Neither?

Contrary to popular belief, not all gay men (or bi men) like anal sex. Anal sex isn't the end-all be-all of sex. It's just one of the many, many things two men can do together.

when i was questioning bottoms, they had the mentality of a slave, cock pleaser and often were bi. That doesn't mean that most bi are bottoms, but most bottoms are bi. Or not most, but a considerable amount that can visually increase the amount of bottoms. Some turned out to be vers-bottoms and they were adequate.

To be honest, I'm not sure on the statistics of the whole "most bottoms are bisexual" although I would doubt this is true. I don't think that being top or bottom has any bearing on a person's sexuality as far as if someone is attracted to men, women, or both.

Is it true that sex preferences can't change eventually?

I would say it is far more common for sexual preferences to.... develop. Expand. Hone down. Branch out. Etc.

I would say that in these ways? They do change. I would say (in my estimation) that doing a 180 degree shift, though, is extremely rare.

[Male]

Oh, not joyful but juicy. I still think that amount of nervous terminations and their sensitivity play the most important role in physical pleasure and satisfaction. Different blowjob techniques give different sensations which vary on insensity. So it's possible to make a guy cumming in 30 seconds if he just doesn't have a psychological block to feel pleasure. Anyway, your posts are the most informative here, thank you. I almost stopped being obsessed.

[Cuddly]

My preferences change with the seasons. Not literally. That leads to some frustration when my husbear's preferences are so rigid.

I get a lot of physical pleasure from bottoming, but even more psychological pleasure. I am in exstacy when I feel desired and that desire is shown by him inside me and his paws are all over my body. I'm very touchy feely.
I'm absolutely versatile though, because being on the opposite end of the above scenario gets me equally steamy.

Overall, you're obsessimg and worrying too much. Try different things and don't worry so much about roles. The statistics you're babbling about do not matter. They will not help you have better sex, at all. And that's your goal, right?
Fibers, anal douche (enema thingie), patience, presence of mind and lots of lube. Those are the tools you need, however, I find that a buttplug really helps in opening me up to (greatly) reduce the initial pain!

[Camfer]

Yeah [MENTION=23639]Male[/MENTION], to sum it up, less thinking and more exploring should do you well. Twist is a saint to lay it all out for you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Cześć.

How much fiber should i eat? 38 grams or more? And i dunno how to eat so much fiber. Bread? I think it will lead to heartburn coz i have gastritis.

Do you agree with the facts i have written?

Sit down, shut up and eat your vegetables.

A talkative 18 year old needs to be tied up and locked in a closet.... :eek: :tongue:

You are basing your "theory" on things which don't really matter. You failed miserably to take the whole context of what "top" and "bottom" mean. You just rely on the sex part.

Pity the homosexuals thin in terms of sex only, if they didn't you would see there is many reasons, emotional needs actually, that lead to there actually being many more bottoms than tops - bi, straight, gay, whatever.