Confused... any advice?

[princealbertofb]

Has anyone detected a pattern on here recently?

Young guy finds someone fun to be with, hangs with him for a month or two, wants to know if it's time to declare his devotion to said guy. Writes a thread on here. Old guys on here say, nope, wait. Young guy disappears.

Can we be more help for the impetuous passionate young guys?

Honestly, [MENTION=20941]Camfer[/MENTION], they come here asking for advice, we can't very well give them anything but advice based on what our perception of the situation is. No one's saying we have the truth. These young men should know that. The answer really relies on how much they perceive of their situation, and how ready they are to make changes or meet their challenges.

[MikeW]

I don't need to label anything. I don't need to be his boyfriend or his fiance.

It's just frustrating because I haven't received any -verbal- indication from him that he's interested in me for anything more than sex. If I have feelings for him and he doesn't have them for me then why bother continue seeing him?

Have you asked him?

And don't do it in a text message for god's sake. Ask him to his face... "I'm beginning to have feelings for you, where are you with that?" ... or whatever words are right for you. Just be honest. And be open to hearing how he feels... which many not be just the way you'd hope. But consider, too, that no one is ever going to feel exactly as you do (even if they may seem to). We're all different. Some men take longer to really discover what they feel for another guy.

For myself, if someone gets too deep, too fast... I just tell them to slow down. Doesn't mean I'm not interested or that I may never get there... its just I need to be true to myself, my own self-awareness and self-knowledge. As a general rule I don't MOVE that fast. If they're getting ahead of me, they need to just slow down a bit. Now... if that's a real problem for them? Well... then this probably won't work out.

But [MENTION=21075]Borg69[/MENTION] said it right: DATE... don't just fuck.. go out to dinner or a movie or a play or SOMETHING you both enjoy. HANG OUT. Get to know one another better. See if you enjoy one another's company socially.