I am not blind

[Pix]

Cut ALL contact, NO exceptions. If he shows up threatening suicide, call the cops and simply say the man is threatening suicide. In all likelihood he'll be taken to a mental hospital which will be its own punishment, and as the threat no longer works then he'll stop doing it.

He might come after you, though.

Don't do the guy ANY favors. I know a guy who almost got into a lot of trouble because his ex called him to pick up their baby as she couldn't make it, but luckily he had several family members helping him at the time so they all went. His ex was there (when she said she couldn't be), and tried to throw a bunch of dramatics about him stalking her (to apparently use in court later during the divorce) but it quickly fell apart when the "stalker" had several relatives, some of them minor and/or female, with him. The entire favor she asked of him had been to set him up.

Another guy called for help only to have several guys waiting to ambush him physically when he showed up to help the guy (as the guy who called for help intended).

You do not control his actions, he does. If he can't control himself then he needs help that you cannot give him.

You are responsible for YOUR actions, not his, especially once you cut all contact and ENFORCE it (by restraining order, if necessary).

[BlueStar]

Guess he lives with my friends now, I have no doubt he already started manipulating them against me just to make my life hell. His next move would be to catch me outside the social worker's bureau where I seek moral help, and blame me for telling bad things about him to my friends who know exactly how much I cared for him. If he doesn't, I will ask my friends to reveal my whole sorrow because they have been present to lift me up each time I felt broken.

But since the demon invaded my friendships, I have no idea how to overcome the final breakup. Alone, I could easily pave my way into the hospital. He took my friends when I needed them the most. I should have been cruel and never have mentioned the social group who gave me some support. I should have left him fighting everyday for his own survival on the ruthless streets. What a shame. All I have been doing is mistakes out of kindness. I really should learn to kill my emotions.

[Camfer]

Your friends will figure him out soon enough.

Just let your friends know that your life is better without him, and that in time they will surely reach the same conclusion that both you and his own sister have reached. Tell them to be watchful for him asking for money, threatening suicide, asking to move in, manipulating, and becoming physically abusive.

It may take a little while, but they will thank you eventually.

[Borg69]

He will only keep taking advantage of you as long as you let him. He will not change. His promises mean nothing. They're lies to manipulate you, nothing more.

Vampires, Succubus, Parasite, ... your boyfriend. One and the same.

[araya]

How could you stick with him for so many months? I'll dump him after a week for sure.

He knows he can play you and you've been dancing around in the palm of his hand this whole time. Cut all ties with him completely and tell people what he put you through all this time, people like him are the type that can't be symphatized, he can go kill himself several times if possible.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Life of lies - sounds like 99.98 percent of the human beings I have met on earth.

Its not that you are blind, but that you are way to young to become that cynical as to have lost all faith in human-kind... yet (oh that day is coming sooner than you will like to have it happen). Wait until you are half my age, then we can talk "truths' and what your chances of a life-time long relationship with an honest to goodness really honest fella who isn't lying around half of the time.

But hell, let me land a few nasty blows to your already shell shocked mind. Please, I do so love comforting the young uns and telling them what lies ahead in their future.... old age has few real privileges....

Most - not all, but most, LGBT suffer some sort of mental/emotional affliction because LGBT are the most loathed and hated group of the species called humanity. As such, we have the highest suicides, depression, anxiety, liars, alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. shit on a person enough times, treat them with less respect than a worm eventually they break.... Often than not right out from the gate when they are real young, so they will be seriously broken for the rest of their life.

Just because you can sit there are say you are not a liar (wink wink) doesn't mean you don't come with your own special blend of fruits and nuts in your brand of fruitcake. I think that would be the best topic ever, having everyone tell each other what the ingredients are of each other;s fruitcakes, just so we know what it is we really have to offer to a life partner. Hell, knowing is half the battle.

To make this seem even more horrific, eventually it will dawn on you that its not so much that you will be married to some really crazy dude that is insane, but that you will find yourself listing the types of insanity you will accept in your partner that is really insane about the situation. Wait, I just confused myself... Rabbit hole Dawling, Rabbit hole... But the day will come where you will accept "we all go a little mad sometimes, most of us madder more than just some of the time.

I have a few short rules that I take and throw away when I date fellas... No lying, no cheating, no abuse.... Well there is one that still doesn't fly - the whole beating thing. Emotional abuse is ok, verbal abuse negotiable, as long as we give it alternating weekends off.... Cheat on me, permission preffered because I pretty much understand that when it comes to monogamy in my relationships, I'm the only one being monogamus. Lying - yeah sure, tell me a lie when ever you feel like - but to be honest tell me enough and I will lie right at cha. Scary part, I learned how to lie by a professional, bon-e-fied Psychopath... Yeah I roll with the big boys...

Life is about compromises and adaptation to situations... the cool part is due to that thinking logical part of your brain that may (or may not, I don't know your fruitcake ingredients) not be floating in a sea of alcohol thus still able to choose which situations you will adapt to, make compromise on, etc.

Those people who chisel deep lines in bed-rock reach their middle years in a state we call "single forever" Those who just draw lines in sand, and are able to compromise, renegotiate as life learns them new things end up like me, in yet one more somewhat long term relationship, and if my health fails as fast as my doctors say it will, I might actually be with the man who I will spend the rest of my life with!!!!

No this is this all important choice you have. you can either:

A. Not chisel your lines in bedrock, thus not become that lurky, creepy old guy who is lonely and wants to take a guy home (for love we presume, but we don't know your ingredients, do we?)

B. Chisel those lines and not be willing to take one step back, then you become "forever lonely" and run the greater risk of being that creepy old guy that takes guys home, to meet the other guys buried under his home.

Understand I'm not saying you picked a real winner, but damned if I was single I would ask you to throw him to me because I just love project partners...

no what I'm really saying is yeah, you dealt a really bad card here, but don't give up on meeting a non-mass-murdering, homicidal, physical abuser. I'm pretty certain you will meet that nice, depressed, half truth telling alcoholic who will do you decent, when he is sober enough to recall your name.

This guy, well there is that saying of plenty of fish in the sea (not so true, most of the fish have been fished out of the oceans, and we all know that all of the nice guys where taken by God when they were babies so they wouldn't have to remain here and suffer like the rest of us.. so there are things still in the sea... you just have to fish a little more and decide if two headed trout is ok, or if radioactive Cod is more tasty than Mercury Lobster... We are all toxic down here.

:eek:

[BlueStar]

Saturday all day, he was at the shelter with my friends and I joined them. We didn't speak with each other. When we got to the society's big apartment, he took me to his room wanting to talk to me. The last thing he said was "you have well hidden your filthy game", before attacking and hitting me. My friends heard me screaming and they saved me from death. After that all of my PTSD symptoms and shocking memories came into my mind in a second, I was in a crisis. The social worker was called for our emergency and my friend managed to keep me away until he arrived and took me back home.

Luckily I wasn't badly injured so I could walk normally. I went to the fan zone of Bordeaux city to watch France - Iceland (final score: 5 - 2 ), with some students I newly met there. In the evening I got back home but my boyfriend was waiting for me there. He forced himself into my apartment wanting me to read a letter he wrote to me on a USB drive, but he had copied the wrong folder so there was no letter. He begged for my forgiveness, and all night he imposed his presence which caused me to fall in crisis again, and this time my legs were paralyzed and I could barely move. He started crying (with no tears, of course, as manipulative as he is ever).

One last trick saved me because clearly one of us was about to die that night. I made it look like I wanted to drink a whole detergent to burn his nerves. He stopped me, and when I insisted that our relationship was over, he said I was a liar, that I still love him and we will be back again. His delusions were only growing. He was talking about demons and religions, which made me certain he was mentally sick. He said he wanted to pay for his mistakes and die. While I was still paralyzed, I couldn't (and didn't want to) stop him from taking a package of my sleeping pills. He lost his energy and fell on my bed. He prevented me from calling the ambulance at first. Then he made himself look like he fell unconscious so I took it as to pull out of my nerves all the damage he has done to me. I revealed every single lie and injury he caused me, and he confessed it was all true. Then his delusions started again, and he convinced himself that I will concede to his manipulations. I told him that suicide is not a way to repair a relationship that is already damaged beyond repair. So he assured me he wanted to get a treatment for his mental illness but I refused to believe him. My last words were "I am not blind, but I have always loved you", before he fell unconscious. I called the ambulance.

Hours ago the social worker got a call that my boyfriend has been sent to a specialized psychiatric institute more than 35 kilometers away of my city. He will be held captive there until someone takes the huge responsibility of taking care of him, but his whole family is unaware of the situation. Apparently a quick diagnosis revealed he was at a dangerous stage of schizophrenia. His treatment is going to take years, if he doesn't consider committing suicide again.

He deserves it, and I deserve a life after that. For once, I can breathe again. I had to make this extreme move to save one life if not two, but I wish nobody to relive the horror of last night.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Thank you for the update, [MENTION=21111]BlueStar[/MENTION] I'm glad to hear he's getting the treatment that he needs, and that he's finally out of your life.

On a side note, and entirely related.

The -next- time someone forces themselves into your home, the correct response is to call 911. He could have raped and/or killed you, man. Please look out for yourself a little better, yeah?

[BlueStar]

Thank you for the update, [MENTION=21111]BlueStar[/MENTION] I'm glad to hear he's getting the treatment that he needs, and that he's finally out of your life.

On a side note, and entirely related.

The -next- time someone forces themselves into your home, the correct response is to call 911. He could have raped and/or killed you, man. Please look out for yourself a little better, yeah?

While as 911 is actually 17 here, thank you all guys for your support. I'm gonna be single for a long while now but that's called exploring life.

[CellarDweller]

He deserves it, and I deserve a life after that. For once, I can breathe again. I had to make this extreme move to save one life if not two, but I wish nobody to relive the horror of last night.

Yes, you do deserve a life after of this, and I hope you find a guy worthy of your time.