What apps to use and beyond

[Confuzzled4]

Hi there, the past few months have been very difficult, but I'm finally pulling myself together again. One of the things I'm finally doing, that I've never done is actually trying to meet guys. I am shall we say a complete virgin when it comes to gay relationships. So I was recommended to use tinder just to see what's out there before trying anything more seriously, but I am not satisfied with tinder. What would you recommend I use/do to meet guys? Any other advice you feel is important that I should know about? Thanks

[InbetweenDreams]

Well there's a whole host of apps out there to use and unfortunately it seems that most of guys on any of these apps will often be after sex...but that's not everyone. It would seem to be harder to find anything outside of a hookup in a more populated area...

Here's a list of some dating/chat apps:

Grindr
Hornet
Jack'd
Scruff
Adam4Adam Gaydar
POF (Plenty of Fish)
Tinder
Boyahoy
Romeo
Match.com

There's others and a lot of them suck simply because there's just not a lot of people using some apps. You can also search around for local meetup...like where I'm at there's a gathering of gay folks about once a month which is mostly a meet and greet, making friends that type thing. Here it is mostly older folks but that's just the demographics of the area here, but you might find that something like that may yield better results than apps...in other words you would be more likely to meet better quality people, not just some guy trying to get nude pictures off of you or some other creep.

One thing for sure when meeting anyone from any of these apps is to meet them in a public place and for added safety don't tell them what vehicle you drive or where you live, never know when you might end up with a stalker or worse. Not trying to scare you but things can happen and we all need to be aware because most of us including myself tend to be too lax on things.

[kindy64]

Depends on what you are looking for. Friends, hookups, potential boyfriends?

gay bars are still out there.
meetup.com exists for meeting all sorts of people interested in the same things you are.
friends, family, and coworkers exist - get it out there that you are looking for ____

Be honest up front with who ever you start talking to about what you are looking for.

[Camfer]

Given all you've been through lately, you may find it better to focus on much more casual dating and hookups instead of trying to pop your gay-relationship cherry. Or how about just a circle of gay friends?

[drobs]

Looking for No Strings Attached (NSA) hookups? Use a condom.

In the Chicago area and suburbs there were forest preserves where men would meet up for NSA sex. See a bunch of men parked it cars staring at each other in your local forest preserve? That's probably a gay meeting area for older gay men.

Hang out in the back of the parking lot behind your local gay club at closing time...
Do have the courtesy to spend a little money in the club before using their facilities.

Reminds me of a story.

There I was in my single twink days... drinking at Hunter's Night Club (now closed gay bar) in Elk Grove Village Illinois. The bar backed up to a fenced in landfill + an industrial park with a seedy motel right next to it. It was late and I had no luck meeting anyone in the bar.

Strolled around to the parking lot in the back of the bar. Made eye contact with an ok looking fella and nodded for him to follow me. We walked down the chain link fence a bit to get a little privacy.

Next thing you know... boda-boo boda-bing, I'm grabbing the chain link fence an my pants are around my ankles...

Chicago also has bath houses. Good cheap place to sober up after a night out drinking. Tip stay out of the pool - while fun to strut / swim around naked. The chlorine just doesn't do a good job at killing off the crabs.