Going out alone vs going out with one friend

[shykid25]

My friends suggested I go out more often. But bars/clubs isn't my thing. Tho there is one place that's very relaxing and not so intense. They also suggested that I go solo. Which terrifies me because idk how to get there and yes I have a gps. I'm afraid of driving and getting lost or in an accident. Also I feel afraid to go alone to a bar.

What to do you guys think should I go by myself? Or should I bring one friend to go with me? If so should it be a boy or girl?

[InbetweenDreams]

My friends suggested I go out more often. But bars/clubs isn't my thing. Tho there is one place that's very relaxing and not so intense. They also suggested that I go solo. Which terrifies me because idk how to get there and yes I have a gps. I'm afraid of driving and getting lost or in an accident. Also I feel afraid to go alone to a bar.

What to do you guys think should I go by myself? Or should I bring one friend to go with me? If so should it be a boy or girl?

It sounds like you have an issue with anxiety in going places alone. I get that.... Me I hate being alone around strangers, not terrified, just feel like a 3rd wheel and have a hard time mingling in large social groups...but I think that is more common.

If you're worried about getting lost, try driving the route a few times and get used to the roads. Don't get drunk and try to drive, you can also take a cab or walk if it is close enough. While all the news and crap going on it sounds like anyone might get shot or become a victim of some crime it really is unlikely anything bad will happen. That being said, does help to keep a low profile at times. Although if you're trying to find someone to date keeping a low profile probably isn't something you want to do.

You might consider trying other simpler things to do on your own, like go to lunch on a Tuesday by yourself and get your own table... maybe go for a walk somewhere. I think those things might make a good baseline.

All that being said, I think the best way to overcome most fears and anxiety is through exposure therapy. That means to expose yourself to the things that are bothering you, however, don't go all crazy, just little by littler pushing yourself just a little bit more each time.

[Anocxu]

Isn't there a GPS on your phone?
On the other hand..
Do you drink?

Usually i'd encourage folks to go alone and play it safe.. but You seem anxious about all the fickle details...


Take a loyal friend that's a really good driver..and one that isn't a lush.

[MikeW]

My friends suggested I go out more often. But bars/clubs isn't my thing. Tho there is one place that's very relaxing and not so intense. They also suggested that I go solo. Which terrifies me because idk how to get there and yes I have a gps. I'm afraid of driving and getting lost or in an accident. Also I feel afraid to go alone to a bar.

What to do you guys think should I go by myself? Or should I bring one friend to go with me? If so should it be a boy or girl?

Fear and excitement are two different sides of the very same coin. It took me FOREVER to figure that one out. IDK if this will work for you but think about the times you've been really excited about something... something you wanted to do, perhaps. That energy... that excited feeling... now think about fear and how that feels... very similar but yet opposite. It's weird.

There is a good reason why we are fearful of things. Keeps us safe. But, it can also limit us. So, how to let ourselves "feel the fear but do it anyway"?

What I learned was to allow myself to feel the fear and then to let myself feel how much like excitement it really is. Like [MENTION=23180]axle2152[/MENTION] said re exposure therapy, its a matter of thinking about how to let yourself feel the fear and little by little move through it and beyond it ... rather than letting it limit you completely.

Yes, it is FINE to take a friend with you. I encourage you to do that if it helps. Then, perhaps, ask your friend to leave you alone for... IDK.. five or ten minutes. Let yourself feel what its like to just be by yourself in that environment. Then they come back and check in on you.

The point here is you can be creative with this problem. There is no one-size fits all solution to intense anxiety. It is something that some people (me included to some extent) have to deal with all their life. BUT you can learn little 'tricks' that help. Its just a matter of thinking about it creatively.

[matty7]

I don't understand why your friends would encourage you to go out more but they want you to go alone ? why cant they join you ? are they saying go to a gay bar but are not willing to go with you ? if you want to take someone more of an ice breaker till you familiarize yourself with this new place then any good friend will do - if you go alone just follow simple rules , inform someone where you are going and what time you will be back and that u will call on arriving home to say you are safe - make sure your gps is switched on in your phone too. I f you do go alone then try to engage conversation if possible and have fun - you may be surprised and have a great time

[Sylph]

Here on my island,

Going alone places is actually pretty uncommon, but is also not looked on as being strange either:

So from my experience alone, I'd say go with someone, just to have that ease of mind that you got a ding on ya side;

Cause our code is: if we go out together, we stick together.

I've been out plenty times on de beach with my girls and dem and had I not, I'd have probably gotten into trouble, cause guys always try to give me a sip of whatever their drinking

And one time in particular, I did accept it, cause I was already a lil drunk and thankfully my girlfriend was there to make sure I was okay and didn't go anywhere with him or anything.


Guys here are opportunistic some times, especially if they know they can get away with it. They wouldn't rape you, but would definitely try to coerce you.


Just learn your crowd, your people and your environment and make your judgment call.
Because one country's culture and way of operation is totally different from another's.

Trust me girl, I dun been to Europe already and America.

Totally different ways of life and thinkimg from us.