Advice needed

[edingal]

Wrote a big spraff before but it didnt seem to post. So here we go again. For the purpose of being secret i'm using false names.

I started a new job just over a year ago. There i met a girl called Jane. Jane is gay, an obvious gay and is very open about it. I was aware that she had a bit of a thing for me but i made nothing of it as at this time i believed i was straight. I've never had a boyfriend but i have been with guys. I'd never been with a girl.

I started to have feelings for Jane. I liked the attendtion she gave me and how touchy feely she could be, it made me excited. When i left the job for the summer and went back to my home city for full time work i couldnt stop thinking about her, this is when i started to think i was gay.

I ignored the feelings, i was in denial, then at the start of this year i had my first sexual experience with Jane. I stayed at hers one night after work and one thing lead to another and we had a bit of a romp. No oral, no orgasims, just a bit fondeling as i had to leave for work in the morning and she said she didn't want to scare me off as i wasnt saying i was gay.

I couldnt stop thinking about it and wanted more. She was backing off though. Months of her flirting with me and now i was saying yes i'm gay and want it with you and she wasn't as forward. She says she always knew i was gay.

Heres where it gets complicated. Jane has a friend called Sarah. They used to see each other but are now just really good friends. They spend pretty much all their spare time together and as far as i'm aware sleep together. Jane says they are not together though and they are both free to sleep with other people. When she told sarah we'd slept together though she wasn't very happy.

One of our co workers who knows of our situation told me over a few pints that sarah hates me (even though we've never spoke). Shes jelous of the fact that me and jane are close and have slept together. He and i both see sarah as the only barrier to anything more happening between me and jane.

Jane, sarah, our co worker and my best friend (who stays in another city) are the only ones who know i'm gay. I'm scared of coming out due to the fear of losing friends. Jane thinks that none of them will be shocked though.

Jane wants to take me out to a gay club but tbh i'm petrified. I'd probably run a mile if a girl came to chat me up. The thing is tho i want to be with jane and i think she knows it. I think about her all the time and hate to think shes with Sarah.

Any views on the situation and what do you think my next steps should be?

[fjp999]

[COLOR="Purple"]just to let ya know that some posts by some newbies get held up for some mystical reason...

so I believe this is a double post...[/COLOR]

[marshlander]

Yes, I've just responded to the original. After your first few messages to these boards, your posts start appearing immediately.

[yero69]

4 points to ponder
When we enter any relationship we inherit that person's baggage and in turn they ours.
Only label yourself when you are comfortable with that label
Because you fancy someone of the same sex and even if you have sex with them does not make you gay
Lastly, Because you go to a supposed "gay” venue does not make you gay or anything else
It is about you being you and identifying yourself

[sox-and-the-city]

Sorry love, but shagging people of the same sex and enjoying it does very much a gay make. That's like saying just because you eat bacon on a regular basis, and enjoy the taste of bacon and plan to continue eating bacon you're still a vegetarian...