Im not sure if its ok to get a girlfriend

[MikeW]

You really lay it out MikeW hard truth, Maybe when I move I'll come out in my new community, seems easiers if that would be the only way everybody knew me.

Yes it may very well be a good idea to come out when you "reinvent" yourself in a new environment.

But just think how much fun it would be to invite all your straight buds over for a night of beer and pizza and watching this BAD ASS video!




Premiers on LOGO, November 19th. Just in time for the Holidays!!

[drobs]

I live in the deep south, I was in the Army and Im a combat veteran of Iraq and so are most of my friends and its a very macho environment, Im an avid shooter and gun collector, Im a practicing Catholic, I drive an old truck, and Im a dyed in the wool republican. Basically all signs point to straight. I think people have this image of me that is definitely not gay. More or less Im in a very right wing conservative environment and I know that I would not be well received, if that makes sense.

Doc,

You and I are similar. I'm prior service Army Reserves (peace time - 1990's) I like guns, I have my CCW license and carry a G19, built 5 AK's from kits, I reload, spent 4 years contracting in Iraq. I "own" a house in rural Southern Missouri with my partner of 12+ years. Drive a 4x4 pickup. I can step out my backdoor and target practice. Recently I got into shooting cap & ball with Black Powder. Probably going to start casting my round ball.

I've 2 good sets of friends 1/2 gay &/or liberal the other 1/2 straight republicans. My straight friends I met hanging out at the local gun shop. While I didn't come out immediately to them I eventually did and they have met my partner and are still good friends. We get together to BBQ and shoot frequently + hang out at the gun shop.

So what am I getting at - don't hide in that closet forever. Times have changed.

[Ibex]

Ah you live in such a place. But not Alabama, which I hear is a state that have people who'd kill you for being gay or anything close to it.
It's a shame that it's so complicated for some to be who they really are.
If you move, after settling in and such. Call people back and say "I'm gay bitches" XD jk.

[Doc]

Ive been into cap and ball for few years now, whats your favorite gun for black powder? I like 1860 Armies.

[Beaux]

I need to give a bit more information about who I am and where from. I served in the Army for 5 years and saw combat in Iraq while serving in a scout platoon, I drive an old pick-up truck, I listen to old 1950's and 60's country music, I collect guns, I only drink straight whiskey, and Im a dyed in the wool republican. Ive always tried to put forward a super macho image, and thats what they believe. I live in the deep south most of the people I know are good ol' boy types, I mean they are not bad people but they're dumb fucking hicks. If they found out what I was, Im not sure what would happen but I bet it'd be bad. To give you some perspective they give me a playfully hard time because Im a Catholic. I hope to move in 8 months or so, but who knows, Im sure there are alot of guys in similar circumstances. I just figure I can find a sporty, boyish, type girl date her for a bit cast off all doubts and Im golden.

My husband served two tours with the Marines, was on both Desert Storm and Iraq, and went on to have a 16 year military career working for the Department of Defense. So....I'm not sure why you are mentioning your service amongst your reasons to come out. We had Marines at our wedding....

Look. I get it. I grew up OBVIOUSLY queer in small-town Louisiana, in the 80s. ALL my year book pictures have me with black eyes and busted lips. Even back when it was dangerous to be out, being out was STILL better than being in the closet. Nowadays, it is SO much better. It's better to be you.

~Beaux

[kindy64]

I live in the deep south, I was in the Army and Im a combat veteran of Iraq and so are most of my friends and its a very macho environment, Im an avid shooter and gun collector, Im a practicing Catholic, I drive an old truck, and Im a dyed in the wool republican. Basically all signs point to straight. I think people have this image of me that is definitely not gay. More or less Im in a very right wing conservative environment and I know that I would not be well received, if that makes sense.

Middle of Indiana, gun owner/collector/nut, into fast cars, trucks, motorcycles, 4x4's, love off-roading, camping. Much closer to libertarian in politics. Lutheran. Bi-sexual, but my fiance is a dude, so most just call me gay. Left my marriage (to a woman) of 21 years because I was miserable. Have a 16 (almost 17) year old son we adopted 5 years ago.

MikeW is right, you are the type of person people need to see is gay, because you are not stereotypically "gay." Everyone is unique, and being your genuine self is the better path for you. Don't let fear decide your fate.

If your friends can't handle that you like to be with guys, then they really aren't that good of friends to begin with.

[Doc]

I really appreciate everyones advice but I think this was a mistake, I was fine last week and maybe I just got a little hysterical. I know this goes against everyones advice but I think I'll give it another go with a woman. Like I mentioned before Ive had girlfriends in the past and it wasnt terrible, in fact there were alot of things I liked about it; and my relationships with men have never really been anything more than sexual anyway. Even if Im not 100% with them I would still be a better companion than most of the other guys I know are to their wives and girlfriends. I mean everyone has their quirks, I could be with a woman and maybe occasionally I find a little something else, honestly we all have secrets. I also find some woman to be attractive evry girlfriend I ever had was cute and the sex was ok too. Im sure you will all think Im a coward but I think this is for the best. Im sorry I sort of wasted everyones time. I guess I'll be leaving the forum but I really wanted to thank you guys.

[Darius]

You have he right to live however you want, but an honorable person would draw the line at deceiving someone else. At least if you find a girl, tell her the truth about yourself and let her decide if she is willing to accept it. You don't really expect your urges to go away just because you are fucking a girl, do you? Don't be a coward.

[artyboy]

You sound Bisexual anyway fella, just tell them that and then your square with them. Just dont lie to them as partners have a way of finding things out about you.

[Cridders88]

I really appreciate everyones advice but I think this was a mistake, I was fine last week and maybe I just got a little hysterical. I know this goes against everyones advice but I think I'll give it another go with a woman. Like I mentioned before Ive had girlfriends in the past and it wasnt terrible, in fact there were alot of things I liked about it; and my relationships with men have never really been anything more than sexual anyway. Even if Im not 100% with them I would still be a better companion than most of the other guys I know are to their wives and girlfriends. I mean everyone has their quirks, I could be with a woman and maybe occasionally I find a little something else, honestly we all have secrets. I also find some woman to be attractive evry girlfriend I ever had was cute and the sex was ok too. Im sure you will all think Im a coward but I think this is for the best. Im sorry I sort of wasted everyones time. I guess I'll be leaving the forum but I really wanted to thank you guys.

Well it saddens me that you have come to this decision. And I bet the only reason your relationships with men have been nothing more than sexual is because you haven't allowed them to be.

So you are going to deceive a woman, not give her what she truly deserves (a true and loving relationship) and cheat on her on the side. It is hard for you to see any other way out, I can see that, but doing what you are doing? It not only makes you a coward, but also a grade A prick.