This Is What's Wrong With Gay Dating

[kindy64]

Edison didn't perfect the light bulb on the first try. In fact, he tested 3000 different designs.

Sometimes "luck" takes a lot of hard work and trying different things.

[Pix]

The grindr - pic mentions NSA, BB, 4:20, Only Top.

Don't think I knew what BB stood for.

I wanted to ask about this. I believe NSA = No Strings Attacked, BB = Bare Back, and the "Only Top" means he only tops (either that or he only wants to hook up with tops). Correct me if I'm wrong.

And what does 4:20 stand for, in this context? While pot smoking?

[InbetweenDreams]

Edison didn't perfect the light bulb on the first try. In fact, he tested 3000 different designs.

Sometimes "luck" takes a lot of hard work and trying different things.

That does in a lot of cases make a difference, but folks in the 1930's worked hard to plant crops that never grew too. That's why I say nothing is a sure thing, there's not always a rainbow on the other side....

Yes, I'm being a Debbie Downer here, but it seems to be true. I frankly well can't speak to the successes of others, maybe there is a formula to things, well I would vouch to say there are a lot of things to it... I wish I knew all the answers. Hard work, yep, I sure wish it were easier.... Man when we were all kids, like 4 &5 things were so damn easy, I mean you get kicked in the face by another kid and they're friends again 5 minutes later, it seems like that anyway... Me and my sister were always into it but we also had good memories and times when we got a long. Today you say the wrong thing at the wrong time and you get shut out for life, often enough there are no second chances.

You can take the perfect design, blow the bulb because too much current and never knew you had the thing right that time. All due to a miscalculation, poor judgement... But that is what we're supposed to get good at but I think at all ages we're going to make mistakes and at least a few times have poor judgement. I mean it is a wonder I'm not dead for trying to pass 3 cars at once, definitely wouldn't try that shit in a Prius.

Maybe one day I'll do it all right, but I feel like I got a lot of failing to do before I get to that point. People only deal with so much shit from someone.

[Anonymous]

I wanted to ask about this. I believe NSA = No Strings Attacked, BB = Bare Back, and the "Only Top" means he only tops (either that or he only wants to hook up with tops). Correct me if I'm wrong.

And what does 4:20 stand for, in this context? While pot smoking?

4:20 means he smokes pot.

The idea is the hookup arrives, smokes a joint, then the BB comes into play, because sex while stoned is pretty awesome.

[Ibex]

liar*
Lair is like the place where dragons live. "Dragon's lair"

Anyway, if I say I just want to be with someone that makes me laugh and that I'm comfortable with, that's what I want. Of course I want the sex too.

[Pix]

My impression is that men in general (regardless of orientation) seek both a meaningful relationship AND quick sex. Even when married plenty will still mess around.

Women do as well, but it doesn't seem as common. And in some cases they're after "passion" that includes sex, they want the fireworks, and when those inevitably fade they'll stray (though they may stay with someone long term at the same time, just as men will). Though there are also those who mix their self-esteem up in that and they can be the most attracted to unavailable (like married) men, because those that show interest just don't interest them (as they don't threaten their own fragile self-esteem the way a guy who shows no interest does). I myself once had a girlfriend that liked to cheat just to create drama (such as by cheating, and wanting to get caught) because she felt that rage and jealousy made it "real."

Btw, my mom had a funny (in a sad way) story about her single mother who never married (though it's been many years since I heard this and many details are now vague in my memory). Many men came by to seduce her mom until her mom cut that out completely, sick of the hypocrisy and other stuff. But anyway, it's a hot day, church has let out, Mom (at about age 13) has the window open when she hears 2 men arguing with each other over who got a crack at her mother, and they were listing how much more Christian one was than the other (apparently to establish which was more "deserving" to try to get laid) my mom (again, about 13) yelled out the open window, "Are you two arguing which of you is right enough with God to fuck my mom behind your wife's back!?" Both men took off running.

ETA: my grandmother (the mother of my mother in the story in the paragraph above) loved this song, btw:




And my mother said that the adults (and many kids) of that town had much darker (and perverse) vices, but the less said about that the better. It's a song many could relate to, and perhaps hit too close to home (but could've hit closer still) for others.

[InbetweenDreams]

liar*
Lair is like the place where dragons live. "Dragon's lair"

oops

Anyway, if I say I just want to be with someone that makes me laugh and that I'm comfortable with, that's what I want. Of course I want the sex too.

What do you mean if? Everyone wants sex, it is just a matter if they want that more than the first part... and some people do...that's fine.

The other thing like someone mentioned earlier are the guys who say that they want an LTR but they really just want a hookup....and in fact that's exactly what they do.

But yeah it's grindr, I know, tell me all about it. I know what people use grindr for. Unfortunately here and I guess other rural places, there's not much for meeting people.

I looked into P-FLAG in my area, and didn't know what they were or what they do but $20 member fee plus a "gift" as much as I want to support gay support groups, I don't need to find more ways to blow my money. This might be the first month where I might actually budgeted well and I had a lot of shit to pay... But anyway, choices are limited, there are no gay clubs, little or no groups and the ones that are around usually favor the older crowd... So yeah moving it is, that's the only way and then I'm going to be lost because I don't know I guess the right way to meet guys? Is there a right way?

[Ibex]

oops





What do you mean if? Everyone wants sex, it is just a matter if they want that more than the first part... and some people do...that's fine.

The other thing like someone mentioned earlier are the guys who say that they want an LTR but they really just want a hookup....and in fact that's exactly what they do.

But yeah it's grindr, I know, tell me all about it. I know what people use grindr for. Unfortunately here and I guess other rural places, there's not much for meeting people.

I looked into P-FLAG in my area, and didn't know what they were or what they do but $20 member fee plus a "gift" as much as I want to support gay support groups, I don't need to find more ways to blow my money. This might be the first month where I might actually budgeted well and I had a lot of shit to pay... But anyway, choices are limited, there are no gay clubs, little or no groups and the ones that are around usually favor the older crowd... So yeah moving it is, that's the only way and then I'm going to be lost because I don't know I guess the right way to meet guys? Is there a right way?

You're overthinking the if part there.
It's not always I bother to write what I want to forums like this and other forums for it.

[InbetweenDreams]

You're overthinking the if part there.
It's not always I bother to write what I want to forums like this and other forums for it.

Yeah the if threw me off.... I do a lot of stuff that involves logic...databases...excel...some occasional programming

I see if and I look for the test lol

[kindy64]

I looked into P-FLAG in my area, and didn't know what they were or what they do but $20 member fee plus a "gift" as much as I want to support gay support groups, I don't need to find more ways to blow my money. This might be the first month where I might actually budgeted well and I had a lot of shit to pay... But anyway, choices are limited, there are no gay clubs, little or no groups and the ones that are around usually favor the older crowd... So yeah moving it is, that's the only way and then I'm going to be lost because I don't know I guess the right way to meet guys? Is there a right way?

Don't discount the older crowd, where are you going to learn from, people younger than yourself?

You know what networking is, making connections with people who might be able to help you advance your interests. Who knows, maybe one of those old guys has a young friend equally as frustrated that there aren't any decent young single gay men in the area...