Do your gaydars work properly?

[deephiance]

I don't think anyone is arguing, I think we are actually having a healthy discussion with differing perspectives...which is nice.

[Marcus]

It did sound like some of you were arguing. You were all acting like I said every gay man loves madonna, and everyone who loves madonna is gay, which is not true. You also tried to disprove that by saying stuff like "not true lmao i listen to heavy metal", "bad generalisation, i know str8 guys who do dat too m8". All because of a short digression I only used to make my comment longer. gg

[Zen]

When I was 20 I worked in a bar and one of the regulars was known for shagging his way around the women of the town. One night I was having a drink after my shift before heading home. He came and sat next to me and started asking what I thought about his arms and asking me to feel them. I just laughed and said I would rather not. I thought he was being a dick as usually him and his mates made playful remarks after discovering I was gay. He then asked if I wanted to go back to his house for some wine. Again I just laughed it off as him messing around. He kept making suggestive remarks until I started to get a bit weirded out so I said "look, I'm going home, you're probably drunk and you're also straight". He then looked me dead in the eye with a steely gaze and with the most serious voice I'd ever heard him use "am I? Come back with me and you'll find out". Anyway I went home and we never brought it up again. However I won't lie, sometimes I do wish I'd gone back with him to find out

I've also had a few instances of 'straight' guys that I would NEVER assume had gay leanings feeling me up or whatever as soon as they find out I'm gay, which is usually pretty uncomfortable - probably because they do it out of the blue and I've not thought of them in that way AT ALL. Also, I didn't ask for it.

I'd say I've learnt that sexuality is fluid and is not black and white. I've always known I was sexually attracted to guys yet I've found girls VERY attractive at times. Just last year I met my friend and we went clubbing, he took his female friend and we just seemed to click in some weird feeling way. There was one moment where we were dancing together and something happened and we went to kiss each other which was weird but I felt like I really, really wanted to.

Thanks for your stories Ian, I think fluidity is probably more common than most think. Sometimes people become so attached to a label and feel that it's definite. A straight guy may suddenly see his mate in a certain light and question that, similarly a gay guy can, as you experienced, feel attracted to a woman.

It would have been interesting if you did go back with him, the real him was probably coming out through drink, although a mate of mine once told me that "the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy is....about two drinks"!! Don't know how true that is!


I literally just signed up at a new gym this morning ( the old one is a rip off) and I had a gaydar sensation from the guy showing me around! But then that could be just wishful thinking...think I'm right though.

[LJay]

Per Zen:

[COLOR="DarkOrange"]"Yeah mate, think that you cant generalise. The rise of the 'meterosexual' means that you see straight guys that 10-15 years ago you'd think they were gay. Meanwhile there are plenty of gay guys that are 'regular guys'. Think its about being comfortable to be the man you want to be: Straight bi gay or any other shades in between. Culture and sub cultures will always try to make us feel that we have to be a certain way."
[/COLOR]
More and more true! However, this is not universal, which makes for some confusion. What I encounter often is, "It's OK to be gay, but just don't try anything with me." In some ways I wish I had real gaydar so as not to make those guys uncomfortable because, unfortunately, some of them are quite desirable and that can mess me up.

[Zen]

Per Zen:

[COLOR="DarkOrange"]"Yeah mate, think that you cant generalise. The rise of the 'meterosexual' means that you see straight guys that 10-15 years ago you'd think they were gay. Meanwhile there are plenty of gay guys that are 'regular guys'. Think its about being comfortable to be the man you want to be: Straight bi gay or any other shades in between. Culture and sub cultures will always try to make us feel that we have to be a certain way."
[/COLOR]
More and more true! However, this is not universal, which makes for some confusion. What I encounter often is, "It's OK to be gay, but just don't try anything with me." In some ways I wish I had real gaydar so as not to make those guys uncomfortable because, unfortunately, some of them are quite desirable and that can mess me up.

Yeah true mate it would be handy if gaydar worked all the time!

[meridannight]

Was that necessary, Meridan? I didn't say all gay guys like Madonna, only have female friends etc.
But from my experience, when a guy does most/all these things I listed they're pretty much 100% gay.
Or do you know a straight dude who matches the description?

Do you only post things that are absolutely necessary? Have a little flair.

And yes, I do know straight guys who like Madonna (and/or any of the equivalent) and have a lot of female friends.

It was a very bad stereotype you brought out. A lot of people buy into it when they don't know any better. And it's not even true most of the time. I have met a few gay guys who were like that, and they're very loud and in-your-face in a lot of ways, so that makes them stand out. But you can't generalize gay men based on the loudest examples.

You were all acting like I said every gay man loves madonna, and everyone who loves madonna is gay, which is not true.

Hmm...you were the one who said this:

But from my experience, when a guy does most/all these things I listed they're pretty much 100% gay.
Or do you know a straight dude who matches the description?

As if you didn't know any straight guys like that, or as if they didn't exist. And now you're saying the reverse.

You did claim that if a guy listens to Madonna and has female friends, then he is 100% gay. Which is not true at all.


PS. And having a discussion does not automatically make it an argument (and what's wrong with having an argument, anyway? We're people, we argue sometimes).

[meridannight]

Though my music taste does get questioned alot. Not because Im gay. But because people think country music is a mistake

I like country music too. It does not deserve the bad rep it's getting these days.

[Marcus]

It's ok if you didn't understand at first, but even after I explained myself?

In my first comment I said this:
"I can't tell if someone is gay unless it's too obvious (rainbow bracelet, madonna/gaga fanboy, overly feminine, all their friends are girls...)": did I say that a certain music taste alone makes you gay, or that if you're gay you must like a certain popstar? Or that it's the only way to know if someone is homosexual? Nope. I only meant that, from my experience, when a guy shows most/all of these traits all at once he's probably gay. So, saying "but i like rock so ur wrong" makes no sense.
Why even bring generalisation into this? Did I EVER say all gay guys are like that?
"You did claim that if a guy listens to Madonna and has female friends, then he is 100% gay. Which is not true at all."
Did I? I hate repeating myself, but I said "rainbow bracelet, madonna/gaga fanboy, overly feminine, all their friends are girls". You (conveniently?) forgot them being overly feminine and all their friends being girls. The rainbow bracelet was just a metaphor for gay themed accessories. Also, when I said "they're pretty much 100% gay" it was a manner of speaking, to say that it's highly likely. So again, thanks Mr. Obvious for pointing out that it's not actually true 100% of the time.

Maybe I could have been more clear, but some you guys definitely have problems with basic logic or so it seems.

[RomanticMan]

When I was 20 I worked in a bar and one of the regulars was known for shagging his way around the women of the town. One night I was having a drink after my shift before heading home. He came and sat next to me and started asking what I thought about his arms and asking me to feel them. I just laughed and said I would rather not. I thought he was being a dick as usually him and his mates made playful remarks after discovering I was gay. He then asked if I wanted to go back to his house for some wine. Again I just laughed it off as him messing around. He kept making suggestive remarks until I started to get a bit weirded out so I said "look, I'm going home, you're probably drunk and you're also straight". He then looked me dead in the eye with a steely gaze and with the most serious voice I'd ever heard him use "am I? Come back with me and you'll find out". Anyway I went home and we never brought it up again. However I won't lie, sometimes I do wish I'd gone back with him to find out

I've also had a few instances of 'straight' guys that I would NEVER assume had gay leanings feeling me up or whatever as soon as they find out I'm gay, which is usually pretty uncomfortable - probably because they do it out of the blue and I've not thought of them in that way AT ALL. Also, I didn't ask for it.

I'd say I've learnt that sexuality is fluid and is not black and white. I've always known I was sexually attracted to guys yet I've found girls VERY attractive at times. Just last year I met my friend and we went clubbing, he took his female friend and we just seemed to click in some weird feeling way. There was one moment where we were dancing together and something happened and we went to kiss each other which was weird but I felt like I really, really wanted to.

haha that happens. Once I was caught by someone else's gaydars. we were close friends (hapilly we're not now) and he just talked to me about homosexuality and STDs (not for educating me of course, but to make sure I was gay). Then we talked. Once I was at his house, that was a normal thing we did weekly. Then we had an argument about something (dont even remember what it was all about). And we end up our lips very close. Then I took myself back . He was freakingly hot, but also a real sociopath. After realizing he was a socio, I just stopped talking to him. He insistantly called me, though.

[RomanticMan]

C'monn guys!! Just dont argue.

We dont look for scientific evidences. it's a topic for fun and nothing would be a certain clue, but if guy buys a dildo, he probably doesnt buy it for his wife. it's possible but rarely happens I think.