Me and my boyfriend need consuling advice

[Anonymous]

Ok so here goes

My boyfriend and I have been together since thanksgiving and its been the best and most engaging experience in my life. We have both been in relationships before and we both agree that our past relationships were dull and unfulfilling. We really challenge each other and its always interesting, I totally love him and he says he feels the same. Sounds perfect right? Well we have a problem.

Every two weeks or so we will have a bad fight, as in trading punches always about something minor and very violent but always brief. I start them as much as he does, so we a both equally wrong. After these bouts we both say were sorry and how it wont happen again and make up. We are both in our early 20's if that means anything maybe hormones.

Black eyes weren't uncommon but we never seriously hurt each other. We were never violent in our previous relationships and were not violent in general. Two days ago we had a fight and I pushed him into a wall, his head hit the corner and he now has a fractured orbital bone. After we got back from the hospital we both agreed that its time to get help for the both of us or we are going to kill each other one day.

We need some recommendations for relationship counselors that specialize in gay couples. We are located in the Jacksonville, Florida area and we are willing to travel, anything to save our relationship. We love each other and dont want to lose what we have. We do live together.

[deephiance]

Disgusting behaviour from the get go by both of you, absolutely fucking deplorable. Violence on any level is completely unacceptable.

Limit or remove drugs and alcohol from your relationship. That may be a generalised assumption, but drugs and alcohol are increasingly the root of most violence.

Go talk to your GP for recommendations.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I agree, it's time to get counseling. If not a recommendation from your family doc/gp, try contacting local LBGTQ assistance in your area for a recommendation. You live in Jacksonville, which has PLENTY to choose from.

Here are a few that stood out to me when I did a search:

http://www.pflagjax.com/
http://jasmyn.org/ (although for youth, they may have the information if you ask)
https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/r...L&spec=172
http://www.lgbtjax.org/directory
http://mygayjacksonville.com/

[meridannight]

Some guys seem to bring out the violent instincts in other men, even if neither is necessarily a violent person. It's good that you both acknowledge it's a problem and that you need help.

I can't be of much help on this, since I don't live in the US. But it seems to me it would be best to ask for recommendations from actual gay men who live in Florida. You must know someone who knows someone. Guys who have had first hand experience can best tell you which counselors to avoid and which ones to go to. Because counselors tend to be hit and miss.