Would you agree to have a „girlfriend” in order to hide your orientation?

[cormeum]

They're gonna be asking you what she's like in bed, and things like how often you do it, if she goes down on you and/or swallows, and other things like that. Can you really keep up a straight face when confronted with those questions? Can you invent a story about what you two did in bed last night?

Even those assholes I've for my friends don't ask for such graphic details so I don't think I'd have to deal with that. But I understand what you mean.

[deephiance]

Even those assholes I've for my friends don't ask for such graphic details so I don't think I'd have to deal with that. But I understand what you mean.

I was thinking what sort of depraved person talks like that with their mates too...I like to think most men have too much respect for their women or partners even in oppressive societies like Russia.

[Piri]

I was thinking what sort of depraved person talks like that with their mates too...I like to think most men have too much respect for their women or partners even in oppressive societies like Russia.

I live in the same country as [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] and I can confirm our straight guys are like that most of the time...in my experience at least. Maybe it's different elsewhere (good for you in that case)

[deephiance]

I live in the same country as [MENTION=21405]meridannight[/MENTION] and I can confirm our straight guys are like that most of the time...in my experience at least. Maybe it's different elsewhere (good for you in that case)

Oh it definately is different where I live, and I will be eternally grateful that I live in one of the many nations that have a respect for their partners and their privacy.

[Piri]

Don't get the wrong idea, [MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION]. I'm talking about your average straight moron who talks about nothing but pussy and football, making certain comments when they see a girl they find hot, when they see you hanging out with a new lady or shit like that, it's not like they ask for graphic details on how you fuck your wife. It's not strange to expect OP's buddies to ask certain questions, even if only as a joke.

[deephiance]

Don't get the wrong idea, [MENTION=24118]deephiance[/MENTION]. I'm talking about your average straight moron who talks about nothing but pussy and football, making certain comments when they see a girl they find hot, when they see you hanging out with a new lady or shit like that, it's not like they ask for graphic details about how you fuck your wife.

and I think you got what I was saying wrong, I wasn't generalising about anyone anywhere in particular. I said MOST men are respectful of their women and the comments that were made seemed to generalise about straight men in particular...most men...Italian, Russian, Dutch German or Aussie RESPECT woman and men and respect the privacy of what happens in the bedroom is deeply private and personal.

Yes there are yobo's and cunts that dehrade themselves and objectivfy women and sex, but that are in my experience a very small minority...and by small I don't always mean small numbers when it comes to them types

[Cuddly]

If I lived in a country where it was illegal to be gay and I might be arrested and/or executed for it?

Yes

I don't live in one of those countries, and I don't hide who I am or what I like. If someone doesn't like it enough to make an issue out of it, then they can fuck off because they sure as hell aren't a friend.

Exactly my thoughts.

You need to ask her what's in it for her. If she's a closet lesbian who also needs a beard then it's perfect. If she has feelings for you and would do anything to be close to you, then it's TROUBLE.

[Darius]

Hi Cormeum, if this kind of thing would help, it would be only temporarily, but I think you know that already and you might only want to be buying time until you can deal with this differently.
It can't be easy when you come from a place that is so homophobic.

I have to wonder if your friends are pressuring you because they, like the girl who offered her services, also suspect you are gay. So, having a "girlfriend" might not convince them of anything.
There are gay men married to women who think they are fooling others but there will always be those who can see through it.
I'm sorry that in 2017 you still have to be going through shit like this. But even in the US we have assholes who will hate you for being gay.
Why not keep communicating here with us and see if it helps in working through some issues?
We care.

[seeking]

I think the one thing you have to clear first is that what does she expect from doing this ?

Is she just being very open-mind and want to help a gay man in an unfavorable country, or is she secretly attracted to you, or is she also a closeted lesbian that need a fake partner ?

The 2nd situation would be the least favorable as many have mentioned, but even for the 1st one, you need her to know clearly that one day she would need to leave you to have her own boyfriend and husband and family. Like many others have said, this is as good as only a temporary thing.

If it's the 3rd situation, I don't know. I actually imagined situations like this. It would be a good solution in a country which is dangerous for LGBT people, but after all it's still a fake life. At some point you will need to break out of this. Though it might give you more time to prepare to find a better place to build a new life for both of you.

Anyway, ask her directly what's on her mind for all of this, I guess that's the first step.

I hope for the best for you!

[72jay]

It would depend...
Not simply to hide orientation, but if I genuinely liked her, yes I'd consider going out with a girl. (more as a "close friends" type thing than true boyfriend/girlfriend). I'd really have to think about it & talk things through...I wouldn't want either one ending up getting hurt. (but for me any of this would all also apply to if I was to consider dating a guy as well)